'J Curve' and Other Buzzwords Investors Don't Want to Hear

Some management consultant buddies mine have a game they at the bar: Whoever uses the phrase "core competency" at point gets stuck the tab.

Apparently, that phrase is pretty played when it to advising Fortune 500 companies. My friends claim it is used when a consultant really doesn't have else to say.

Their game got me thinking the things I hear regularly that are flags in entrepreneurial and venture-capital speak. The phrases , with their associated translations, are usually signs an entrepreneur is using buzzwords in an to hide potentially shallow claims.

If I can read the lines, can your prospective funder. When explaining your business an investor, it is better to be upfront the challenges you are than to try to hide them jargon.

of suggesting a valuation that may completely sink investor pitch, try a candid statement, as: "This is the amount of equity we need retain after investment to keep team motivated." It gets the valuation discussion rolling acknowledging the obvious: that the process is imprecise.

Similarly, instead listing an enormous team of folks are not on your payroll, say, "I've come a way with just a laptop and some freelance help." It shows that are hardworking, hungry and ready to grow.

Investors don't expect entrepreneurs to have the answers, but they expect them to be honest. Part of a good pitch is telling your story, and story should not be fictionalized. Better to stick the straightforward talk and leave the flowery language the poets.


What You Say What I Hear
We did this and my team did that. My laptop and I did this and did that.
This is a platform technology. I have not yet identified a go-to market.
We are well into our J-curve. We have been losing money for a long time.
We've received significant interest from several major players in the industry. A few companies were willing to talk to us, not realizing we'd be dropping their names and logos into every presentation we made thereafter.
This is truly disruptive. This is so obviously attempting to be disruptive that I've had to label it so. (Most disruptive concepts aren't blatantly recognizable as such.)
We have purchase orders. If we could only finance production... A customer would be willing to buy something if we could magically deliver it, much like transforming coal to diamonds.
We have partnered with... This partner was unwilling to be a customer.
There are synergies... I have my MBA.
Our pre-money valuation is... I'm a comedian.
Our expected return on investment is... I'm a fortuneteller, too.


Adapted from: entrepreneur.com, June 18, 2012.