The first story is about my first encounter with "bad cops", as an introduction, and the other two stories are about my victories against them, just to prove that you can beat them.
Pigs "Young and Homan".
My first run in with genuine and bonafide "pigs" happened when I was about seventeen years old. I had just recently left school, and was working as a Psychiatric Aide, at the local psychiatric hospital. I had orange spikey hair, and lots of earrings and a couple of nose rings, much to the dismay of the hospital hierachy. Anyway, on my days off I would go out on the piss, and usually end up crashing out in my car, a Mk I Triumph, at the end of the night.
"Pigs Young and Bird".
This incident happened a couple of years later, (after many other incidents). I was asleep in my car one night, a 1968 Valiant, which was my home at the time, when two pigs, "Young" and "Bird", opened up the door and woke me up by tipping milk over me. We had a big slag off session, with them calling me names, such as scum and parasite, (parasite was a favourite of Youngs) and I was calling them robots and fuckheads. They ripped the pig that I had mounted on the front of my bonnet off, a plastic piggy bank, painted in blue and white checkers. Then they whacked me across the face with their big metal torch, which was basically a baton with a light, for night use. I made an official complaint, expecting to be told to "fuck off", but the head cop couldn't do enough for me. Both pigs got demoted, and weren't allowed to drive anymore, and had to do their beats with a senior cop with them. They also weren't allowed anywhere near me, unless they had a warrant for my arrest. It was fun to point and laugh at them, everytime I saw them in the passenger seats of the cop cars, and they would slink down, trying not to be seen. I wrote one of my first songs about Young, called "I'm A Pig", which I still perform to this day, as a solo act.
"Pig Sergeant Price"
In 1988, I was living in a warehouse, it was about the same time Dead Centre formed. One morning I was woken up, with a constant banging on both the rollerdoor and the normal door. It was early, and me and my flatmate just kept yelling out "fuck off!" The banging kept going on and on, and eventually my flatmate got up and opened the door. As soon as he opened the door, about five coppers came barging in, still holding the steel pipes they had been using to bash on the doors. They started to tear the place apart, without even showing us a search warrant. When I asked to see the search warrant, Pig Price said he'd show it to me afterwards. Pig Price was a nasty looking piece of crap, all skinned up and wearing big boots. He looked like a skinhead in a cops uniform. Anyway, I said I wanted to see the warrant now, not afterwards, but he wouldn't show it to me. In his hand he had a thick wad of papers, so I grabbed them. Instantly, he threw me onto the couch, and arrested me for obstruction. I was then bundled into a cop car and taken to the Sty. When I got to the Sty, Pig Price put me in this little cage thing, and left me there for quite a while. This little cage didn't even have a toilet, so I took great pleasure in pissing all around it. Eventually, Pig Price turned up and gave me a date to appear in court. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but he didn't give me the summons in writing.
Pig Price suggested that I may want to plead guilty, as I would get a lesser sentence. I told him there was no way I would plead guilty, and that I would fight the whole thing. From then on, everytime Pig Price saw me, he would come up to me and poke his finger in my chest and say things like, "you haven't got a chance, Puke", and "I'm gonna beat you in court, Puke". I told him that, considering how fucked up the system was, he probably would win, but I was going to plead "not guilty" anyway. That went on until just before the day of the court case.
It was the day before the court case, and I came home to find all these coppers there. They had a warrant for my arrest. When I asked what the warrant was for, I was told it was for not turning up to court. Pig Price, the dirty fucker, had purposely given me the date for the day after the court case, so that I wouldn't turn up, and be arrested for not going to court, and make things look worse for me. So I