A Pathetic Attempt at Romance
by
Misty
Chapter 1
Today was definitely not an ordinary day.
Saotome George stared hard at Botan, who was singing absentmindedly inside the Reikai garden, looking as if she had thoroughly lost her wits. She saw the blue oni in front of her, waved once, and went back to smelling the roses.
“George-san,” she said dreamily, now shifting towards the violets. “This is such a perfect day, isn’t it? Not a cloud in the sky, the birds are chirping, and—”
She stopped, looking at George’s awestruck face.
“What’s with you?” Botan asked, puzzled.
“Shouldn’t I be the one asking that?”
Botan giggled. “Calm down, George. It doesn’t suit you when you’re angry.”
George smiled in spite of himself. “So, why do you look so happy today?”
“Oh, that…” Botan said, and the dreamy smile appeared on her face again.
“Do you know what day today is?” she said after a while.
George scratched his head. “Er…no. Why?”
“Hmm…never mind then…”
“Tell me, Botan-chan!!!”
“Oh, all right…you see--”
“BOTAAAAAAAAAANNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Her words were cut off by a loud scream from inside the Reikai palace.
“Koenma-sama’s throwing a tantrum again,” she said, sighing. “The way this is going, he probably forgot all about it…” She brought her oar out, and sped away into the direction of the castle, yelling, “Coming, Koenma-sama!!!”
George stared after the pretty, blue-haired ferry girl, still bewildered. The poor girl wasn’t making any sense, but her comments did pique the oni’s curiosity.
He also sped towards the palace, and stopped to look at the great big calendar posted inside the Onis’ Main Office.
Aha…there you go! he thought triumphantly. It’s the fourteenth day of the second month of the Present Year…his eyebrows shot up, wondering why the hell the date seemed so important to Botan. It wasn’t the start of the New Year, nor was it that day the Ningens celebrated…wasn’t it called Christmas? …whatever it was, it didn’t happen on that day either.
Maybe
it’s Botan’s birthday? George thought. No, that can’t be. I’m
pretty sure she celebrated it just two months ago…unless I’ve lost track of
time?
Still mulling over the significance of the date, he went out of the room. He decided to go to Koenma and ask him about it, since the Reikai Prince was a lot closer to Botan than the others. And Botan did mention him awhile ago…
Because he was so preoccupied with his thoughts, he did not notice that a short, violet-haired ferry girl was running in his direction. The inevitable happened, and—
WHAM!!!
George was thrown towards the floor by the force of their impact, and the girl fell into his arms (completely by accident, mind you). The girl hastily got up, blushing hotly.
“Er…are you all right?” George asked awkwardly, massaging a sore spot on his head. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking--”
Suddenly, the girl thrust a small, beautifully wrapped parcel into his hands, saying shyly, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Saotome-san!”, and fled before George could get a word in edgewise.
What in the three worlds was that all about? George thought, completely and utterly bewildered now.
Behind him, someone clapped, giggling girlishly. “Bravo, bravo! She finally did it!”
“Hinageshi?!” George exclaimed, whirling around. “Do you have any idea what that was all about?”
“Of course,” Hinageshi said, still giggling like crazy. “Yuri-chan’s liked you for over a century now. She finally worked up the nerve to give you a Valentine’s Day gift.”
“Valentine’s day? What’s that?” George said, extremely perplexed.
“You don’t know what Valentine’s day is?!” Hinageshi burst out in disbelief. “That’s just the single most important day for lovers all around the world--”
“Lovers? Lovers?!”“Yes, George-san. Every Valentine’s day, people give gifts or what you call ‘Valentines’ to the people they love.”
“But why?”
“It’s tradition.” And with that, Hinageshi brought out a book from the vast recesses of her kimono (it was long theorized that ferry girls’ pockets lead to another dimension), and began to read.
“You see,
Valentine’s day is the feast day of St. Valentine, which coincides with the
Roman holiday to honor Juno, the Queen of the Goddesses,” Hinageshi explained,
reading from the book she carried. “On that day, the names of Roman girls were
written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each young man would draw a
girl's name from the jar and would then be partners for the duration of the
festival with the girl whom he chose. Sometimes the pairing of the children
lasted an entire year, and often, they would fall in love and would later
marry--”
George
slipped away, while Hinageshi droned on, not noticing the oni’s escape.
His mind was
reeling, and he hurried on to Koenma’s office. He rushed inside, not bothering
to knock.
“Koenma-sama!
Koenma-sama!”
The Reikai
Prince was in his toddler form, and he looked up from the papers he was stamping
on, looking slightly irritated. “What do you want?” he snapped testily.
“And shut that door.”
George
slammed the door with a loud bang, and hastily ran towards Koenma’s
table.
“Koenma-sama,
you’re in big trouble…”
***********
“She
expects me to what?!”
Koenma
suddenly stood up, banging his fist on the table in his shock.
“Yes,
Koenma-sama,” the poor oni squeaked. “She seemed to be so happy this
morning, and she had that really vague look on her face. I think she’s already
really excited to get a Valentine from you…”
“But—but--”
Koenma spluttered, utterly bewildered. “I—I didn’t say anything about
giving her a Valentine—so why--”
“Maybe you
said something to that effect, Koenma-sama,” George suggested diffidently.
“Well, whatever I said, I can’t remember it,” Koenma said in frustration. “What am I going to do? I wouldn’t want to hurt Botan’s feelings, and, and…”
There was a long, awkward silence after that. George observed Koenma for a moment, coming to a sudden realization.
“You really want to give Botan a Valentine, don’t you, Koenma-sama?” he blurted out, surprised.
“NO!!!” Koenma yelled, blushing hotly. “It’s just that, she’s a good friend, and--”
He gritted his teeth, and glared at the oni, who suddenly burst out laughing.
“Shut up,” he said sullenly. George just kept laughing.
“I never thought you’d ever fall in love, Koenma-sama,” George chortled. “You do have a heart, after all!”
“SHE’S JUST A FRIEND!” Koenma growled. “And stop laughing at me!!!”
George still kept laughing, and he stomped out of the room, infuriated.
“I don’t know what the hell’s funny,” he grumbled to himself. “So what if I like her? And anyway, what did I say that led her to think that I was going to give her a Valentine’s day gift? I honestly don’t remember! Well anyway, maybe I could just go to the Ningen Kai and buy her a gift…”
He stopped, hearing female voices in the corridor. He recognized one of the voices as Botan’s, and she was talking to Ayame, another ferry girl he usually worked with. They were both giggling, and Koenma didn’t know what possessed him, but he suddenly felt really nervous. He ducked behind an ornamental plant in the hallway, which hid him very well since he was small enough.
“Oh, Ayame-chan, that was so romantic,” Botan gushed. “Lucky you!”
Ayame nodded. “Well, it’d be really boring if the guy just gives the gift to the girl, and nothing else. It should be a bit more romantic than that.” She smiled softly. “This is such a wonderful day.”
Botan nodded. “Yes, you’re right.” Her eyes turned misty for a moment, and she sighed dreamily. “I really can’t wait.”
“Where is Koenma-sama anyway?” Ayame said curiously.
“I don’t know,” Botan said, shrugging. “I sure hope he didn’t forget though…”
They moved on to other topics, and Koenma didn’t listen anymore, for he was more horrified than ever. Not only did Botan look forward to him giving her a Valentine’s day gift, he had to be romantic as well! He really was in trouble now. He needed help.
He hurried back toward his office, screaming for George.
George had finally stopped laughing, and he looked at Koenma with a solemn expression on his face. “Yes, Koenma-sama?”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do, George!” He went on to tell the oni about his predicament, and George nodded gravely.
“So what are you going to do, Koenma-sama?” he said.
Koenma hit him on the head, exasperated. “That’s what I’m asking you, baka!”
“But…but…I don’t know what do either, Koenma-sama!”
“Oh no,” Koenma groaned, burying his head in his hands. “I have no idea about romance whatsoever. I need help…”
He suddenly looked up, a grin slowly forming on his face. “Wait, I’ve got it, George!” He stood up, his hazel eyes twinkling. “I think I’ve got a solution!”
“You have, Koenma-sama? What?”
Koenma smiled confidently. He suddenly changed to his older, more mature form, and he flicked his cloak behind him.
“I’m going to the Ningen Kai."