I stop my daily work and watch her. The papers rustle uncertainly and the stamp marker disappear from my senses. The only focus was her.

She had come today, insisting I take a rest, let my other men take over. But I couldn't. So she had helped me, since some Spirits can be escorted by some other Spirit Guides.

She sat on the floor, reading the documents, her shiny blue hair tied neatly into a ponytail. Some strands had been loose...it had always been her hairstyle. I've always loved it.

I didn't love her at first. It was so hard to accept that I love her. I had been born about two hundred years older than she, and they knew she was special. Young as I was, I was already behind one of the desks in my father's studies, stamping approval on certain documents.

I heard news about her birth...that she was going to be one of the greatest Spirit Guides. Even my otousama said so.

When I first got to see her, she was still training. I was already a teenager, my Ningenkai form, the form in which I stay now. She had been trying to get her oars to work, and I just happened to pass by. Even though we lived in the same world, I only saw her when she was fifty years old.

She didn't know I am Enma Daioh's son. She was a little ignorant, yes. But then, so was I of her, until that time.

I had escaped the house, putting on a band on my head, walking in my teenager body. I passed a training school, and I saw her sitting on the garden, crying. I entered it quietly, knowing that any gates will open for me, and sat down beside her. "Hello," I said.

"Go away," she mumbled.

"What's the problem?"

She looked at me, her tears stopping. Then, it crumpled again. "My oar doesn't work. I can't fly!" She sobbed.

I didn't make a move to comfort her. Only stared at her. "Can't you just jump and fly?" I asked, confused.

Too late, I remembered that only certain Reikai Spirits were given that, and that Spirit Guides have to use their oars, and that it was part of the training. Not to be able to ride an oar means to become one of the biggest laughingstock of the whole Reikai.

"THE WORLD DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT!" she yelled, standing.

I stood. "How dare you talk to me like that," I shouted. "Don't you know I--"

"I don't care who you are! You're so unfeeling! I just want to fly." She grabbed her oar from the ground and then stopped. "I just want to fly," she repeated softly.

I touched her arm. "Then, fly," I told her, a little frustrated.

As if by magic, the oar lightened, and she jumped on it. She gasped, a big smile of wonder on her face. "Oh my God!" she cried. "I can..."

"You still have to practice," I reminded her.

She flew into circles, her hair flying into the breeze. She laughed. "Practice nothing, I--" She hit a tree.

I ran over to her and helped her get up. "You still have to practice," I told her firmly.

She glared at me. "You seem like a know-it-all," she snapped, refusing the help I offered.

I wiped the sweat on my brow, then, annoyed, took of the band on my head.

Suddenly, many Spirit Guides were upon me in a minute. I looked around, confused, trying to find that familiar face. She was still beside me, as confused as I was.

"Enma Daioh's son!"

"Koenma!"

"Koenma-sama!"

Murmurs and whispers were heard of my appearance. The girl I had helped whirled around to me and gave me one of my biggest humiliations.

She slapped my face.

In the middle of all the people.

"Damn you!" she screamed. Then, jumped on her oar and took off.

I stood there, shocked, my cheek stinging from the contact of hard palm to it. I grew bewildered, then angry. Then, wildly furious. I whirled around and rushed to my house.

I quickly turned into a little boy, clenched my teeth on my Fukuumen and was quick to tell my father. But he only laughed and introduced me to her.

Her name is Botan.

Over the years, she became my mother, my sister, and my friend. She was there whenever I needed her. I trusted her enough. And she was willing to give everything for Reikai.

It was hanging out with Yusuke that did it.

When I first met Yusuke, sure, I had Botan by my side then. She was always screaming at me, yelling, but all-in-all, she was really a great friend.

Then, she told me about Yusuke's case. I had been feeling agitated that day. And Yusuke's case brought light.

When Botan told me that Keiko and Yusuke act like kids who bash each other's heads, but love each other, she added a remark, "Just like us."

I just stared.

Then, as if uncomfortable with the silence, she had excused herself.

I had learned then that I was in love with her. No matter what form...teenage form, boy form...Botan was the girl I had always wanted.

And now, she's here before me. Reading and stamping approval...

"Koenma-sama, you're not working," she points out.

I blink. "Huh?" I look around. We are still in the office, her on her on the floor, me on the desk, and George waiting for the files to be delivered beside the door.

I meet George's face, and he nods, as if he knows what I am thinking about. It gives me strength.

He leaves with some piles of papers.

Finally, I take a deep breath. "Botan-san..."

She looks up and smiles sweetly. "Hai, Koenma-sama?" she asks.

I begin to panic inside, but I try to push them away. "Umm...I've been meaning to tell you..."

"Koenma-sama!" The door bursts open.

"What is it now?!" Annoyed, I stand beside my desk and glare at the new oni that entered.

The helper seems oblivious to my irritation. Instead, he leans forward. "A new danger! A youkai has been detected running around the Ningenkai again! More powerful..."

"I'll get Yusuke and the others," Botan volunteers, quickly standing up and waving her hand for her oar. In a flash, she is gone.

I look wistfully to the window where she just disappeared from. Maybe one day, I'll tell her, but until then...

"We detected the route he took." An electronic map is pushed into my face.

I sigh. "Give me the time and date. Make a full report out of this!" I snap.

"Hai!" He hurries off.

I sit back on the large chair, turning from the old Koenma to the smaller one. Jobs to do...confessions will have to wait.

~ * ~

I look back in a mere second to the window I just flew from. Koenma was staring at me as if I had avoided something big. Perhaps, I just did.

I smile as I flew to Ningenkai.

It doesn't really matter. Because he'll be there waiting for me when I get back. And I will be back. To his open arms, though maybe not really that wide open for me. But he's there. I love him. It's what really matters.