Uneasiness

By: Miiru Kamishiro

Isn't it funny when we remember time? How fast things move in this world, isn't it? It was just like yesterday when I was born in this terrestrial sphere. I don't know why or how I survived this powerful substance in this world…I don't know how and I'll never will, I guess.

 For many centuries I solemnly persevere with a smile on my appearance. Although I am not joyful many times I am trying to hide it like placing a cheerful mask on my face. It works. I fool the world and myself…but never my heart.

 "Ohayo Koenma-sama!" a lively voice enters my ears. It was one of my ferry girls, Botan.

 "Ohayo Botan-chan," I greet back. My voice wasn't as energetic as hers though.

 "What's a matter?" she inquires thoughtfully. "Do you have a problem or what?"

 I did not respond. I just stare at her.

 She narrows her eyes looking disappointed. "I guess you're busy…again. Well, talk to you later…" she left my workroom.

 Oddly, I unexpectedly feel emptiness as she slammed my door. Wind and weather permitting, I am just working too complicatedly these days.

 I start stamping again my work papers with my golden seal in Reikai but an item in my brain makes me go cracked. I apprehensively cry in distress as I try to focus on my work.

 "I'll can never bring this to an end!" I moan as I bury my blank face on a stack of papers. "What's happening to me? Is this a headache or what? Or I just disremember something consequential?"

 My door then clamors loudly.

 "Come in!" I make a guttural sound.

 "Hello Koenma-sama!" a blue oni enters. It was my silly but trustworthy assistant, George Saotome.

 I arise up my face. "What is it this time?" I uneasily ask. I don't know why I have a nasty temper these days.

 "Well nothing actually I just come here to say hi!" he pleasantly replies.

 "Don't just stand there!" I screech towards his outer ear. "Help me here!"

 "Alright! Alright!" he agreed as he tries to clean his ear with his finger. "I'll do it. I will help you…"

 "Fine! Let's start now!" I snap.

 Huh…another long day.

 Everybody seems in good mood today except me. Even though I am the Prince of Reikai I seriously jealous of them at the moment. I feel sorry for George for what I have done. But my mouth can express its sympathy and apology.

 So we both have gone active all afternoon finishing all of those dead spirits' papers. Everyday lots of people died. But my strange emotion still killing me softly. Why?

*****

Afternoon came, I decided to walk outside Reikai in my teenage form, admiring the kaleidoscopic sunset. For me nothing is as beautiful than it is. It eases my discomforts both my inner self and my outer self it both works but today is a bit weird. I am still restless. Why?

 Sighing I decided to walk back to inside Reikai but then…

 "Koenma-sama," a soft voice gently calls me.

 I turned back and there she is. She was more attractive than I ever fantasized. Her lengthy bluish soft tresses swirl beautifully on the air. Her lavender eyes, oh how they sparkle luminously on the twilight. She is still wearing her traditional Japanese kimono but nothing is different with her but she seems…different.

 "Hi!" I sheepishly greeted, waving my hand.

 "Isn't the nightfall picturesque?" she asks.

 "Yes it's amazing…" I agreed. My head cools off a little.

 "Time does run fast Koenma-sama…"

 What does she mean? I am stunned. "What so you mean?" I moved a bit closer to her.

 "I thought this won't happen again," she turns to me and giggled. "This maybe a dream…"

"What?"

 She turned back to the colorful rays of the orb of life, sighing. "Ever since we were little kids we are always together, in both work and at play. We are even both going here during this time just to admire the sunset. But as time goes by unknown forces put forth effort to separate us…I thought…we would never go together again in this place…"

 "I---" I attempt to say something but now words come out of my mouth. I never knew those moments meant…so much for her…

 "No need to say something," she grins to me, I blushes a bit. "I am just overjoyed to see you here with me…one more time…"

 I can't it think about as true that I forget her, but she was always there for me like a shadow. "Botan-chan I…you're ceaselessly on my side," I start, my vision are blurred with my tears. "I sort of…forgot you…"

 "Oh, Koenma-sama," she grins as tears of happiness flowed down her gleaming purplish eyes. "I know you have forgotten me, somehow…"

 "I am sorry…" I utter. But is it enough? Words come and go easily. I have hurt her much is 'sorry' all I can say?

 She quickly places her finger on my fold of flesh. I've stopped talking. "You don't need to say anything, Koenma-sama…you did nothing wrong…"

 Beads of sweats form on my forehead hearing her expressions. I did nothing wrong to her? What does she mean by that? I can't understand her feelings. I have forgotten her.

"What are you talking about? I did lots of mean things to you!" I scream angrily, but my lamentation is still obvious. My arms can keep their emotions and I wrapped my arms around her. I grasp on her tightly like I don't want to let her go.

 "Koenma-sama," she softly moans clutching me nearer to her heart that strongly beats with the rhythm of nature. "It is nice you spend your precious time to me…"

 "You are far more important that time," I delicately declare. Although I can't see her from my back, I know she smile.

 "You are important too Koenma-sama," she proclaims.

 Sama? Why does everybody always put that suffix at the end of my name? It is somewhat harsh on my ears. "You can just call me Koenma, Botan-chan…"

 She then pushes me away and turned back. For what is the reason?

 "Botan-chan?"

 She didn't say a word, but I can sense she was weeping. My heart carries her burden. Why does she need to shed tears? Did I say something offensive?

 "I," she finally says something after some time. "I am not worthy calling you plain 'Koenma'. I am just a ferry girl and you are the prince of Reikai. We still have boundaries that we are not visible to a naked eye. You are my master."

 And you know what…she's right. We are both different. Absolutely, I have no doubt about that.

I have reached my hand to her shaped shoulder and stare straightly to her enchanting lavender eyes. This perhaps the time my face looked so…serious. "Botan…what's wrong with you…" I uplift her formed chin. "Why are you thinking like that? It might be early to say this," I pour down my throat. "I love you…"

 "Koenma-sama! I am sorry…" she exclaims crying, casing herself in my arms. "I…"

 She didn't finishes her speeches. With fervent emotions our lips touches each other, streaming our sincerest love from the deepest of our souls. I closed my hazel-brown eyes. It seems so long that I feel my whole lifetime is with her already…and with her alone. 

I slowly opened my eyes, not knowing we have parted after those precious moments. But seeing her first in my vision I feel relieved. Just seeing her relieved my uneasiness.

 "I will never let you go now," I guilelessly pledged directly to her lovely eyes. "Nor forget about you. I'll treasure you forever. I won't let you go…" 

She just smiles on the resplendent rays of sunset. But die with that because she expresses her inner feeling just by her actions. No words can ever beat that. I know…

~owari~