| VALENTINE Certificate: 15 Official Website Director: Jamie Blanks Producer: Dylan sellar Screenwriters: Wayne Powers, Donna Powers, Aaron Harberts & Gretchen J. Berg |
| At a Valentine's Day dance at 'Junior High' geeky, bespectacled, buck-toothed young nerd Jeremy gets knocked back by all the babes. When he gets off with the fat lass her embarassment causes her to accuse him of attacking her. Next thing he knows he's carted off for rehabilitation, ends up completely tonto, and kills his parents. Now, thirteen years later, five girls are being picked off one by one by a nose-bleeding killer in a cupid mask around Valentine's Day. But just which of their male acquiantances has Jeremy Melton grown up to be? One of the problems with Valentine is that we are presented with a barrage of male suspects early on, and are then expected to remember which is which when they are referred to. In a cast made up almost entirely of bland unknowns, only The World Is Not Enough's mega-babe Denise |
| Richards and TV's Angel, David Boreanez are memorable. Given better material than this Boreanez should do well in the movies, looking, as he does, like nothing if not a movie star. Here, he exudes far more presence and charisma than anyone else, using all the pained, anguished facial expressions he learned on Angel, as recovering alcoholic journalist Adam. Richards, meanwhile, is as hypnotic as ever in her usual pouting, sexy slapper role. Surely one of the last of the Scream-inspired modern slasher movies, there is absolutely nothing original in Valentine. Most of the characters are blissfully unaware that they are being targetted by a murderer until the climax; so spend most of their time before that going in about their love lives. 4/10 |
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