Dave from Pascagoula, Mississippi
Sayings, Thoughts, and Predictions
Heard on the Rick Ballou Show and the Kevin Wheeler Show on SportingNews Radio.
Note: Dave has great love for people from Mississippi.
Barry Sanders will come back out of retirement in a Miami Dolphins Uniform, and gain the all time rushing title.
Nolan Ryan was just an average pitcher.
Nolan Ryan was out of this world. He had to be on steroids.
Shane Matthews was one of the best...If you re-sign Shane Matthews [2005 season], he will show that he is the best Chicago quarterback [Matthews is from Mississippi]
Dave: "John from LA and Jason from Waco are afraid to go face to face with me, I mean Joannie from LA. I will take Joannie from LA [reference to John] to a singing contest. I will take them all on in a day, even with smoking a cigar and drinking a beer." ....Dontrell Willis is a bust. He is no good. I told everyone he was a bust. A bunch of college boys beat him [keep in mind that Miami Hurricanes have been playing for a month and using Alum. Bats, while it was the first time Willis pitched since the end of last season]
Dave: "I am 6'1" 202lbs all muscle. Joan from LA is delivering pizzas. She is probably 5'1" 100 lbs. I will go to LA and order a pizza and make Joan deliver it to me."
Houston Astros Projected 2005 Season Outfielders [star Lance Berkman out for a month] Craig Biggio, Jason Lane, and Orlando Palmerio are really good baseball players.
Prediction: Roger Clemens will NOT reach 300 wins in before the start of the 2004 season.
Result: WRONG! Clemens got his 300th win.
Prediction: 2004 Houston Astros will win the World Series.
Result: Astros didn't make the Series, one game short.
Prediction: Before the start of the 2004 season, the New Orleans Saints are going to win the Superbowl.
Result: Saints didn't make the playoffs
Prediction: Jerry Rice will lead the 2004 Seattle Seahawks to the Superbowl after the Seahawks made the playoffs. [Rice is from Mississippi]
Result: WRONG!
Prediction: Lottery Numbers for the ILLINOIS Lottery for the last week of Feb 2005 [2,7,8,24,31,49]
Result: WRONG!
Prediction: Brett Favre needs to stop stringing us along and just come out and tell us that he is playing next year.
Result: The next day, Brett Favre said he was coming back for another year!
Prediction: Miami Dolphins couldn't get Johnson so they got Nick Saban. Saban will turn the Dolphins around and they will win the Superbowl [2005-2006].
Result:
Prediction: Hillary Clinton will be next President of the United States [2008]
Result:
Prediction: Ricky Williams will return to football in an Oakland Raiders' uniform for the 2005 season [after the Raiders signed Lamont Jordan].
Result:
Prediction: Bulls are going to win the 2004-2005 NBA Championship.
Result:
Prediction: Mississippi State is going to win the 2004-2005 SEC tourney.
Result: Lost to Florida in the quarterfinals.
Prediction: Mississippi State will play LSU who will beat Kentucky in the SEC championship tourney game.
Result: LSU lost to Kentucky in the SEC tourney semifinals. Mississippi State lost to Florida in the quarterfinals.
Prediction: Mississippi State is going to win the 2004-2005 NCAA tournament and Lawerence Roberts is going to be MVP.
Result: Mississippi State lost in the 2nd round to Duke.
Prediction: Mississippi State is going to beat Stanford by at least 20 points.
Result: Dave was right!!!! Mississippi State won by 23.
"What conferences are the refs from? We have to know, those high school refs....The reason why we lost is that refs didn't call the fouls. Duke got all the calls. We got no calls." [referring to Mississippi State lost to Duke in the 2nd round in the NCAA Tournament 2005....both teams shot the same number of free throws, Duke making six more, and Duke committed more fouls than Mississippi State]
My guy is Lawrence Roberts. The only reason why he was 5-18 shooting is that he got fouled everytime he got the ball and no calls.
We showed those West Coast People who is the greatest [after Mississippi State beat Stanford in the 1st round of the NCAA tournament 2005]. Now, they know that Mississippi is just better in everything.
Dave: Hey Kevin, I have gas. I wanted to let you know.
Kevin: Are you scaring off the skunks?
Dave: Hey Kevin...just wanted to let you know that I don't have gas anymore. Just wanted to tell you so you know that I am okay.
Kevin: You told us that last night.
Dave: You were talking earlier about who has the best rotation is baseball. It is not Chicago. I guarantee that Prior and Wood would be on the DL by the first month. [2005 season]
Kevin: When heathly, they are.
Dave: Houston has the best starting rotation with Clemens, Pettitte, Oswalt, Backe, and ?????
Kevin: Who is your fifth starter? Pettitte and Clemens are injury prone...and Backe is up and down.
Dave: It doesn't matter... We still have Biggio, Bagwell, and Berkman...they are the best players in the NL.
Kevin: You won't have Berkman for a month
Dave: It doesn't matter...Houston is going to win the NL this year [2005 season]
Dave: Why is it wrong w/ Bobby Knight for not shaking hands after the game [after the Texas Tech lost to West Virginia in the 2005 NCAA Sweet 16]?
Kevin: He is a jerk.
Dave: It is motivation for next year........it is just like this. I played baseball and basketball a long time ago. When I was a catcher, I used to un-tie the shoe laces of the batter when the batter wasn't looking...and he would just trip.
Kevin: You are a fraud. Just stop. I was a catcher. You never did that. You don't have time to untie the shoes. You will get clubbed in the head. Stop lying....Why are you on hold for thirty minutes to say this? [at this point, Kevin is yelling]
Dave: I figured what I wrong w/Chicago...the stadium.
Kevin: What?
Dave: My friends who went to Wrigley almost got mugged when they got tickets. Wrigley Field needs to be replaced.
Kevin: Stop being stupid. Just stop.
Dave: My prediction... Bonds, Sosa, Bagwell, and Palmerio are going to retire after this year. Bonds, Palmerio, and Sosa from steroids. Bagwell, his feet can't take it anymore.
Kevin: Just stop being stupid. I am not buying this act. You before were funny, but after awhile, you are just stupid.
Prediction: Louisville will play Michigan State in the NCAA 2005 National Championship game.
Result: Illinois beat Louisville and North Carolina beat Michigan State in the Final Four
Dave: Hey Kevin. I was in the department store today and there was a kid in front of me and he got sick on my leg.
Kevin: That is payback from last night for being stupid.
Dave: I am not stupid.......did you pay the lady's son to get sick on my leg.
Dave: Hey Kevin. I was looking at the Houston Astros schedule. They are going to be 11-0 before they play a real team in Atlanta. [later on HOUSTON LOSE THEIR FIRST GAME TO THE CARDINALS]
Kevin: How?
Dave: We play St Louis and will handle them.
Kevin: St Louis beat you in the NLCS last year. You have no sure left fielder, center fielder, right fielder, and second baseman. Your bullpen is a mess minus Lidge.
[Dave then read his poem about how Houston starts off 6-0]
Dave: What did you think of that?
Kevin: My seven year old can write better. You probably got the poem from Dick and Jill book.
Dave: Houston has the best rotation in baseball. George Steinbrener is going to feel the wrath......[Kevin hangs up]
Dave: Prediction: Houston Astros are going to be 10-1 against Stupid Competition before we see Atlanta.
Result: the Astros lost 5 out of 6 before they played Atlanta Braves, making their record 5-6.
Dave: [talking about how golf is not a sport] I haven't played golf. Anyone can do it. You hit the ball 300 yards, walk to the ball, hit the ball a few more yards. I am athletic. I can grab a club and beat all the amateurs.
Dave: Houston Astros are going to win the 2005 World Series. We are going to be 10-1 before we play Atlanta. We have the best pitching staff in the national league and maybe the whole MLB. We have up and coming stars in Jason Lane and Luke Scott.
Dave: Shane Matthews is still going to be next great quarterback [2005 after sucking in the NFL for 12 years] if he gets a chance.
Dave: Brad [producer] told me to ask you..if Mark Prior is a stud?
Kevin: Yeah
Dave: Mark Prior is a not a stud. He is a sissy, going to be 16-13.
Dave: Prediction: The Houston Astros are going to sweep the Cubs [April 29,30, May 1 2005].
Result: Houston lost to the Cubs on April 29 2-3
Dave: After the Houston victory against the Cubs on April 30, 2005....Houston is the Cubs's Daddy.
Dave: I told you about my Astros.
Kevin: You said a Sweep...
Dave: Close enough
Kevin: Do you what a sweep is....3 games in a row
Dave: What did I tell you about Prior...a big sissy. My Astros put up 8 against him. He is a big sissy.
Dave: Willy Traveras (rookie) of the Astros will be in the All Star Game. [2005]
Result:
Dave: Words of wisdom [predictions]
1. Cubs are going to win 60 games or less
2. Yanks (11-19 in last place in 2005). The way to fix the Yankees is that George Steinberner should sent the whole team down to Triple A for a week and let the Triple A team come up the big leagues.
3. White Sox: [Chicago White Sox have the best record in baseball 22-8] I heard you say that the White Sox has the 27th best home attendance. Chicago can't handle two teams. The White Sox needs to go down here to Mississippi. We will go to their games, even though we don't like the American League.
Dave: During this year [2005] Mark Prior, being a sissy, will not win more than 10 games.
Result:
Dave: Houston being 12-21 will win 7 straight at home.
Result: WRONG, Houston was 3-4.
Dave: Dontrell Willis will finish 10-14 in 2005 after starting off 7-0.
Result:
Dave: Barry Bonds [on the DL] will not play in 2005.
Result:
Dave: Baltimore will finish 1st in the American Leaguge East
Result:
Dave:Cubs in the month of June will be lucky if they win three games.
Result:
Dave:Predictions: Roger Clemens will be traded to the Yankees [2005] Result:
Dave:We don't need Roger Clemens. We have Pettite, Oswalt. He will be in his rocking chair next year [when Houston is in last place with a 18-32 record]
Dave:We are going to take two out of three from the Reds. And then we are going take three from the Cardinals [first place]. We will gain three games in the Central.
Dave:The best player in the league [May 31, 2005] is Craig Biggio. A-rod hasn't proven anything [Kevin Wheeler cuts him off].
