Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

In Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, adapted from the classic book by Roald Dahl, famed chocolatier Willy Wonka launches a worldwide contest allowing five lucky children to tour his mysterious factory. One of the winners is good-hearted Charlie Bucket, who lives in a run down shack with his parents and four grandparents. But the crookedness of the Bucket family home is a direct indication of director Tim Burton's crooked mind.

Long obsessed with wondrous yet macabre alternate realities, Burton's vision of the world (largely populated by unknown actors with homely faces) is colourless and drab until Charlie -- much like Dorothy entering the Land of Oz -- is introduced to the magical realm of Wonka.

As the confectionery genius, Johnny Depp does not try to emulate Gene Wilder, who played the role as glib and nonchalant in the 1971 film, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Rather, Depp interprets the character as prissy and developmentally-retarded. Sporting an ashen face, false teeth, and a hideous wig, Depp's Wonka is not only creepy, but borders on paedophilia. If he based Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean on Keith Richards, he clearly based this soft-voiced Wonka on Michael Jackson.

Freddie Highmore, who played opposite Depp in Finding Neverland, stars as Charlie. Though delightful to watch, he has little to do besides deferring to the antics of the other four children, each of whom are proficient but do not leave the lasting impression of the original actors.

While the visuals are meant to be elaborate, they appear hastily thrown together by CGI. And the Oompa Loompas have sadly become cloned Polynesian pygmies who hip-hop their way through songs with garbled lyrics. Long a favourite of Burton, composer Danny Elfman's manic score also seems hurried and, as a result, cliched. Gone are the charming songs from the '71 treatment.

Also missing are the lessons and morals that tied the story together and gave it such heart-warming appeal. The fast-paced screenplay includes most of the memorable scenes from the first film version, but loses strength when diverting to an unnecessary subplot about Wonka's relationship with his estranged father (Christopher Lee).

The only thing you'll take away from this needless remake is a craving for chocolate. Rating: 2 out of 10.