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| Vulgar Masterpiece Cartoon Theatre presents......Berenstain Bears in....
"Mother's Inconstancy" Mother Bear sitting at the kitchen table, elbows on the table / hands resting on face. Mother: "Oh I am just so moody!" Papa Bear: **walks in** "[cheerfully] oooooooh I better go check the bear-calendar!" Mother: "I am just so stressed out!" **Cuts to flashback sequences** Flashback # 1: Mother: **shouting at family** "Stop eating so much damn junk food!!!" Flashback # 2: Mother: **shouting at family** "Get off of your stupid lazy bear-asses and go outside and play!!!" Flashback # 3: Mother: "Papa, you stupid dumb son of a bitch!!!" Flashback # 4: Mother: "Put down those god damn Atari controllers and go outside and play!!" Flashback # 5: Mother: **shouting at family** "Stop watching so much TV! Turn off the TV!! I said turn it off!!!!" Flashback # 6: Mother: **shouting** "What did I just tell you?!!! Because I 'said so' !!!" Flashback # 7: Mother: **shouting at Brother Bear** "Brother, stop sexually discriminating against Sister Bear!" Flashback # 8: Mother: **shouting** "Don't do THAT! You make me sick!!" Flashback # 9: Mother: **shouting** "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!" Flashback # 10: Mother: **standing by the kitchen sink and slams a dinner plate down on the floor** **end of flashback sequences** Mother Bear: "I just don't get it." **sighs** Papa: "So anyway, hey kids! You want some honey comb ice cream treats??" Brother and Sister Bear: "Yeah!!" Papa: "Ooooookay! Here's some free money for everyone!" Mother: **fuming now** "That's IT. I'm handing out spankings to all of you!!" **Mother Bear spanks Papa Bear** Papa: **excited** "Woo hoo now we're talking!!" **Mother Bear runs over to Sister Bear and slaps her in the butt really hard. A loud pow is heard.** Mother Bear: "OWWW!!!! **shakes stinging off hand** What the hell??!" Sister Bear: "I stuffed a hardcover book down my pants! I was sliding down the rocky hill today and the book really smoothed out the ride! Tho it totally tore up my overalls." Mother Bear: **angry** "Grrrrrrrr! Okay Brother Bear, it's your turn." Brother Bear: **stares down Mother Bear** Mother Bear: **spanks Brother on the ass and turns around** Brother Bear: **spanks his mom on the ass** Mother Bear: "HEY!!! What do you think you're doing??" Brother Bear: "an eye for an eye, a leg for a leg." Mother Bear: "Oh that's IT you're going down!!" **rolls up sleeve** **Mother and Brother Bear continue to slap and pinch each other for a while** Papa Bear: **yawns** "What a fat, surly bitter old woman." **takes a nap** ADVERTISEMENT: "Today's column was sponsored by the National Organization of Penis Cancer Treatment Foundation." END |