| Design this: Kid screws over Notre Dame
By: D. Rudager Associated Press SOUTH BEND, IN. - It's just so stupid. Carl Blake, the highest touted NCAA Football players in the history of the sport; and the most NFL-ready freshman ever seen; has decided to quit Notre Dame football & forfeit any chance of being what would had been a sure # 1 NFL pick......to study architecture. Carl: "I just love buildings." Coach: "What a dumbass. I didn't sell my children or leave my wife of 22 years to coach here for nothing. Like there's any shortage of architects! What about tight ends??" Architecture over football. I've seen a lot of things in my day. But I have never seen anybody so ungrateful. Carl: "Ever since I watched Seinfeld, how George Costanza was an architect. I mean, there's nothing cooler than being an architect! I just love George Costanza too much! I mean, where will I be in 40 years? I don't know, but it'll have to do with architecture!" I think this kid sniffed one too many of his own farts. Never mind that a one-of-a-kind God given athlete, would have made so money in his rookie season of the NFL that he'd be able to live off of that for 40 years. And there's no law that says you can't have a career in the NFL & go back to school afterwards & finish that 5-year architecture major. Never mind that George Costanza himself is NOT REAL and was NEVER an architect! Coach: "We play 11 games a year. Is that REALLY too much to ask?? God damn selfish kid. Doesn't he realize he's living in forces not comprehendible beyond his wildest imagination?? Football is God in Notre Dame!" His former teammates have already begun their retaliation and vowed for more revenge. From an unidentified one: "Yeah, uhhhhhh, he made big mistake! We' gonna after him! He dead-man on campus! We already went after his car, we already set up team at his local hangouts! We gonna egg him! Yeah! Uhhhhhhhhhhhh.....Yeah! ARF! ARF! Football rullllllllllllles!" while chest-butting with another teammate. Taking away of football scholarship. Of course, what Carl didn't realize, that is if he quit football, he'd lose his full $60,000 a year scholarship. Carl: "Shit, now I got four years of $60,000 a year tuition to pay for out of my own pocket, Guess I really fucked up. But I just love buildings and George Costanza so much!" While this reporter is no fan of Notre Dame, which resides in Illinois Jr., I am just flabbergasted at how stupid this young man is. Think of the millions of guys who wanted to play Notre Dame football but can't. Carl's parents were not pleased. Mr. Blake: "I hope Carl gets his head out of his ass one of these days. I hope he realizes that we don't have the $60,000 a year to pay for his schooling, and that there's no bed for him here at home anymore. I never thought a TV show could ruin his life. For god's sake, he broke every single high school state record!! He was destined for sports!" Hey Carl, if architecture doesn't work out for ya, then maybe you could work in real estate, or at Tyson Chicken, or work for the Yankees, or be a hand model! Yeah! |