Dolph Rudager
   
1. name is Dolph Rudager.     
2. Has a pet squirrel & beaver.  
3. Is a member of the Associated Press.

4. Is an accomplished musician, classically trained singer with many musical degrees and doctorates, and has won many Grammy's and written dozens of #1 hits.
5. Smokes 60 pounds of weed a day.

6. Gets very angry and violent while high on dope.

7. Thinks these Illinois Lottery commercials with Bernie Mac advertising the board game Monopoly-Lottery promotion is hilarious and awesome.

8. Eats whatever he wants, regardless of what facts or what his body tells him.
9. Absolutely hates sports.
10. Routinely pushes old people out of the way and screams at children in supermarkets & gas stations.
11. Will drive around in parking lot for dozens of minutes for the close spot.
12. Works out vigorously and takes steroids.

13. Drives a van.
14. Drives, eats, writes and lives very recklessly.
15. Favorite snack is spam & oysters.
16. Is an avid reader & book lover.

17. Writes fake letters to advice columnists.
18. Likes to waste toilet paper and trash rooms.

19. Once participated in a 8-woman orgy.
20. Does not shush people.
Me

1. Is not named Dolph Rudager.
2. Has no pets.
3. Is not a member of the Associated Press or of any organization.
4. Cannot play one instrument or sing or read music, and basically don't care for it much.


5. Does not smoke pot nor has ever.

6. Gets road rage a lot & thoroughly enjoys it.

7. Thinks it's just sorry-ass sad.




8. On a purification diet .

9. Loves sports.
10. Opens doors for everyone and is polite.


11. Will park anywhere.  An extra 20 or 100 feet isn't going to kill you.
12. Doesn't work out & has never taken steroids

13. Drives a car.
14. Is mostly low-key.
15. Favorite snack is cheese & crackers.
16. Believes we should burn more books & they're too expensive .
17. Has a phlegm problem.
18. Believes toilet paper is sacred & doesn't trash rooms.
19. Doesn't believe in orgies.
20. Is a shusher and proud of it.
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