| Embittered Assholes of the World unite.
By D. Rudager Associated Press CHICAGO, IL - "I told this Fuckface to 'fuck off', but he didn't listen. I picked up a rock and threw it at him, but I missed & instead hit a Policeman." A bunch of young people gathered on the streets today in Chicago of protest, chanting "we're sick of you god damn assholes and your trendy shit!" While in a grocery store, I was taken aback, when right before the mostly-young adult angry mob passed by down the street, an old man was muttering expletives to himself, then inexplicably went over to the cash register, screamed "GIMME THAT THING!", turned on the P.A. System that eeked feedback, and shouted into the microphone: **along with distortion and heavy echo** "Attention shoppers! I don't like it here!!! And YOU don't like it here either!!!", and then the old man knocked over the microphone, gave a very confused cashier a dirty look, and walked out of the store and joined the protesters. I have seen a lot of protests in my day, but never one quite like this. These were mostly all kinds of young adults, screaming profanity and gross limericks at anyone and everyone, grabbing people's iPod's and snapping them in half while hurling them into space. Protesters ripping plastic soda bottles out of the fat hands of teenagers and then drop-kicking them so they make a big-ass mess. The protesters were also screaming, "If you like celebrities, well you're just a stupid fat fuckhead with shit for brains! You need the shit knocked out of your asses!!" The motif of the protest wasn't particularly clear, but their themes seemed to be against phonies, celebrities, slutty women of the Pop Music world, participating in a war that didn't result in getting cheap oil, American Idol, Fast Food Corporations and drugs, and other things like the impending doom of Social Security, the overall fat laziness of Americans, the decay of society morale & manners, lame comic strips and 3-D embroidery on baseball caps. They were all over the place, they were loud, confronting and pissed off. And very bitter. "I don't give a god damn what everyone thinks! If they're too damn stupid to realize how lame they are, well that's their own stupid fault. They can rot in hell." Incredible. I asked another person who wasn't busy screaming at teenagers. "You know, if any idiot can have a protest about something, why can't we? We're tired of being the world's doormat & the world's sucker. Things didn't used to be this fucked up like they are today." So it is unclear where this movement will lead, but they will probably be coming to your town soon. Very, very soon. |