| I was watching an old episode of "Home Improvement" yesterday.
**Randy is hanging out with his girlfriend in the den, but decides to enter the Taylor kitchen where mother Jill is folding laundry** Mother Jill (with slight Texas accent): "What's the matter, Randy, don't yew like yer cute lil girrrrl frah'end over there?" Randy: "But mommmmmmmmm, she doesn't have a penis!" Tim enters from garage: "Hey who wants to do some lines in the hot rod?? Hahahahaha!" Brad: "I have to go stand outside an' stand around an' wait while my hair grows longer." Mark enters room: "I'm going to do something strange, like bark at a wall and marry a 40 year old woman." Jill: "Mark, what the hell..." **Mark exits front door** Tim enters from the garage again: "Hey who wants to do some lines on the souped-up lawn mower's new chrome finish?? Hahahahahaha!" Brad re-enters from being outside: "Hey, I'm gonna go stand outside and look at the soccer ball an' think about how I'm going to college to play soccer an' nothing else." And then I changed the channel. And then I said to myself, "there sure are a lot of lesbians in this auto insurance commercial." |
| /\ Sunday August 7th, 2005 /\
"she didn't change, you just didn't know her very well." Day 26: -- Probably posted this before, but since I have nothing to write about, I'll post it again with some edits. Enjoy. -o- "And now.......Masterpiece Theatre presents........... A day in Colonel Harland Sander's KFC.� **curtain opens** Colonel Sanders walks around his restaurant & approaches a family. **bangs cane on chair** Colonel Sanders: "so there you little punk dumbass shit! You like ma' chicken?!" little punk dumbass shit: **nods** Colonel Sanders: "I've been making this recipe every since I was a little cocksucker sneaking over by the nudity bar while lusting after the penny-whores!" **Family stares in disbelief.** Colonel Sanders: "yeah!" **gimps around** Colonel Sanders: **eyes women and jabs her on the ass with his cane** Colonel Sanders: "Ma�am, I said Ah yes, Ma'ma you were in need of a good poking! Heh heh!" Woman: "asshole!� Colonel Sanders: "Baw-hahaha!" **gimps towards a family of 4 eating** Colonel Sanders: "so you little pillow biters enjoying this shit?!! It's "Clit-licking good!" " **slams cane on table** **suggestively starts lapping tongue rapidly** **bursts out laughing** "Baw-hahahahahahahahaha!" Colonel Sanders: "come back soon now, you hear you little cum garglers?!" **wanders around** **employee drops some glass on the floor** Colonel Sanders: "what the fuck is this bullshit going on, I say I asked you what the fuck is this bullshit?!" employee: **shrugs shoulders** **curtain closes** END |