| It's 10am in Miss Teacher's Kindergarten class.
Teacher: "Alright, class. It's art time! I'm going to pass out some drawing paper. Now take out your art supplies and let's draw & color a scene of you and your family together! Have fun!" Young Jeffery pulls out his box of Grayola fat markers and opens it. He picks out a green marker, pulls off the green cap and immediately begins sucking on wet felt-tip end of it. Jeffery: **suck suck** Nobody seems to notice. Everyone else continues to draw. 8 minutes later. Jeffery: **puts down marker & raises hand & smiles** "I need to go to the bathroom." Teacher: **takes notice** "Jeffery! Why are your teeth so green?!" Jeffery: **says nothing** **picks up the green marker & goes back to sucking it** Teacher: "What are you doing???" Jeffery: **looks up** **goes back to sucking marker** **Teacher backs away and heads to the office.** 3 1/2 hours later. Jeffery's parents arrive at the school for a Parent / Teacher conference & Miss. Teacher informs his parents on what the situation is. Teacher: "Why does Jeffery keep doing this?" Mother: "We have no idea at all." Teacher: "He keeps sucking on it, like it's a popsicle or something." Mother: "uh oh." Father: "i TOLD you we shouldn't have breast fed him!!!" Teacher: "How long was this going on?" Mother: "oh I don't know.... about 3 1/2 to 4 years....or something." **looks around in a rather guilty & nervous and twitchy matter** Father: "i TOLD you that you were crazy!" Mother: "I don't know! I don't know anything!" Father: "she DIDN'T believe me when everyone else objected, too!" Teacher: "Oh dear. **deep sigh** I'm afraid Jeffery is going to grow up with an infatuation with women's breasts." Mother: "Nooooooooo!" Teacher: "He's going to go around, viewing women as sex objects, poking breasts and going "beep" during childhood, then will start borrowing friend's nudity magazines and hide them between his bed mattress during his teen years, then eventually have a computer full of naked porn, while physically and mentally abusing women during his adulthood years; jumping from relationship to relationship, cheating on one after the other; cheating on the cheater, etc etc." Father: "i TOLD you about this, wifey!" Teacher: "Then eventually he'll become so obsessed with women's breasts that he'll be thinking about other women while making love to the first of his 3 wives." Mother: **looks the other way** "Well I didn't know this was going to happen!!!" Teacher: "Actually, it's been written in almost every child psychologist behavior book. It's pretty much a standard." Father: "you've BROKEN our son, wifey!" **All three look over at Jeffery sucking on a purple marker like there's no tomorrow** Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you have a very heterosexual and awful son...or a very gay one." Father: "no POPSICLES in our freezer! Ever!" Mother: "Well we were going to sign him up for dancing lessons in the summer." Father: "oh NO! No! ARRRRRRRRRGH!" **puts hands on forehead** Mother to Teacher: "Oh you are so full of crap, anyway! I refuse to blame myself for this!!" Father: **to wife** "you ARE crazy, woman!" **to Teacher** "you SEE what I have to deal with??" Teacher: "I suggest some psychologist visits for Jeffery, plus a very expensive medication plan, plus several months of...." **child shouts from classroom** "Jefferyyyyyyyyyyyy give me back my bottle of glue!!!!!!!!!" Teacher: "that's.... not a good sign..." Father: "oh GOD no!" END |