| Fade in from commercial on the 9 o'clock news. Skip: "Alright, it was a great Memorial Day. Let's check in with Chet Chatter in the weatherroom for the forecast, eh? Hey Chet, it sure was a great day to bbq, wasn't it? Chet: "Screw you, Skip! I wouldn't know because I had to spend my entire fucking day inside the news room looking at the weather on computer screens for jerks like you!!" **Skip turns to the camera** "Ahhhhhhhh it was a great day! Skip Jr. hit his 1st homerun today and Little Bussy picked daisies in the park. Plus the Mrs's potato salad was just **smacks lips** mwah!!" Chet: "Go to hell, Skip! I hope you choke on it!!" Skip: "Nevertheless, it was a perfect day. So what was the barometer reading at 2:30 this afternoon, Chet?" Chet: "Fucking 30.02, Shithead!" Skip: "I don't know, Chet. It really felt more like 29.98." Chet: **puts fists on side of forehead and screams** "AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Skip: "So how's the 5-day outlook, Chet?" Chet: **pants** "It's gonna be cool and rainy for most of the weekend with high's near the mid 50s." Skip: "oh man, Chet. That's terrible! Can't you come up with a better forecast than that?? You've really let me and everyone else down." Chet: **stares in disbelief** Skip: " 'cause I got some tee times setup for golfing this week, and I think me and especially our viewers deserve some sunshine and temps in the 70s, right Chet?" Chet: "NO!!! I'm sick and tired of humiliating my reputation from faulty weather forecasts trying to appease stupid idiot people like YOU so you can feel good about yourselves!! Oh, and what happens if I'm wrong?? Here come the phone calls from angry viewers! **mocking** "Oh Chet Chatter, why did it rain on little Billy's baseball game?" "Oh Chet, it was colder than expected and my Cindy caught cold and now can't perform in her dance recital!!" Where's my cut of slack, Skip? Where the fuck is it?? C'mon, man!!!" Skip: **long pause** "You sure you couldn't squeeze some sun & high 60s temps in there, Chet?" Chet: **makes an angry face and grits teeth, then quickly gets up & turns around and throws his chair toward the anchor desk; hitting Skip clearly in the head.** "Grrrr-umph!!! Fucking ASS!" Skip: **falls foward & collapses on the desk** Chet: **to camera** "It's gonna be cold and rainy, fucking GOT IT, douche bags??!" **fade out to commercial** |