These are a few poems Chantel wrote and included in her school project on “Eating Disorders”. 

Dear Anorexia monster,

It is hard to say good bye to my very best friend,

But I know our relationship must come to an end.

For so many months now, I have watched life pass me by,

Because of you I have wanted to die.

You made me believe that it was horrible to eat,

I spent my time thinking how to lie and how to cheat.

You told me it was best to skip this dinner,

Everything would be all right if I could just get thinner.

But no matter how much I lost, it was never enough,

The things you told me hurt so bad and so much.

You took over my brain so fast and so quick,

My thoughts were no longer normal, but psycho and sick.

You have dominated my thoughts for way too long,

No matter what I do, it seems I’m always wrong.

But now you should know that I am right,

And I won’t give up without a fight.

Nothing changed if I was fat or thin,

No matter what, I won’t let you win.

All the destructive things you say I know I can’t ignore,

But I won’t let them control me anymore.

I know that you will do anything to stay in my head,

But I won’t let you succeed and get me dead.

So I want you to know that I can beat you,

Whether you like it or not, I will defeat you.

Now I am leaving you far behind,

No longer are you in charge of my mind.

Don’t think it isn’t painful to say goodbye,

But I know if I don’t I am going to die.

It is now time for us to part,

There is no longer room for you in my heart.

I despise you so much, it is now time for YOU to die,

These are my final words to you:

I HATE YOU – GOODBYE! 

ANOREXIA 

You find this disease is not kind,

It is always in your mind.

You begin to lose control,

Your family and friends are all on patrol.

They ask you questions everyday.

You still can’t admit that you’re not okay.

People stop and stare at you.

You just ask yourself, what can I do?

Those voices in your head just don’t go away.

You hear “no, don’t eat that” every minute of the day.

You look at others and say why can’t I be thin.

WITH ANOREXIA YOU JUST CAN’T WIN! 

LIFE’S NOT PERFECT 

I see myself in the mirror and hate what I see,

But life wasn’t always that way for me.

I used to laugh and have tons of fun,

I used to be able to run and play

Now I’m tired all the time, every day.

I cry a lot, weeping tears

Not letting anyone see my fears.

This fear of fat that I feel now,

I ask myself, how could you do this, how?

How could I do these evil things?

These awful, horrible and hurtful things.

Letting yourself get fat, that’s the part that stings.

They think it is nice and they think it is good,

To look the way that I do,

I can’t believe that girls try to look this way

If I could end this torture, I would.

“It’s all for attention” they say that a lot.

Not one of them would have ever thought

This wasn’t just some evil plot.

It’s not their fault, they are not to blame.

It’s the ugly monster, whom to me he came

He’s the only one that I can blame!

The monster who never shows it’s face

The one who always wins the race

This race we run, and I try to win,

But I just can’t seem to pick up the pace.

He beats me senseless, toys with my mind,

If you look closely, you will find,

There is only one thing on my mind

One thing I can think of, to the rest, I am blind.

Though I continue to fight this, I know I will never win.

For I have already lost this lifelong fight,

You lose as soon as it begins.

Don’t let this happen,

Don’t let it start,

BE HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE,

LOVE YOURSELF WITH ALL YOUR HEART! 

AN ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM 

THERE’S AN ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM
IT IS LARGE AND SQUATTING, SO IT IS HARD TO GET AROUND IT.
YET WE SQUEEZE BY WITH “HOW ARE YOU?” AND “I’M FINE…”
AND A THOUSAND OTHER FORMS OF TRIVIAL CHATTER.
WE TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER.
WE TALK ABOUT WORK.
WE TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE……EXCEPT THE ELEPHANT.
THERE’S AN ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.
WE ALL KNOW IT IS THERE.
WE ARE THINKING ABOUT THE ELEPHANT AS WE TALK.
IT IS CONSTANTLY ON OUR MINDS.
FOR YOU SEE, IT IS A VERY BIG ELEPHANT.
BUT WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.
OH, PLEASE SAY CHAN’S NAME
OH, PLEASE LET’S TALK ABOUT THE ELEPHANT.
FOR IF WE TALK ABOUT HER DEATH
WE CAN TALK ABOUT HER LIFE.
CAN I SAY HER NAME AND NOT HAVE YOU LOOK AWAY?
FOR IF I CANNOT, YOU ARE LEAVING ME….
ALONE……IN A ROOM……WITH AN ELEPHANT.

HEARTACHE 

Our little girl has left us
And now her spirit’s free
Just like a little butterfly
She’s flown away from me. 

Just where she’s gone I do not know
But what she’s left behind
I’ll treasure ‘til my final days
In archives in my mind. 

Her contribution touched the hearts
Of many whom she met
In a special unique way
A way they can’t forget. 

Our dear Chantel, who came to us
To teach us how to love
Has done her task so off she’s gone
Back to her place above. 

I feel so sad that she has gone
But feel relieved as well
She’s free from her helpless cocoon
As far as I can tell. 

I give my thanks for what she brought
I’ve grown a lot since then
And may this heartache slowly die
And let me live again.

MY SUNSHINE 

Memories of you blur in my mind
And in my life I’m struggling to find
The answers to questions I’m trying to face
While dreaming of you in that heavenly place.
I know you’re at peace, I know you’re at ease
I just long to hold you or drift away on a breeze.
Together at last for now and always
I know it can’t be, but with you my heart stays.
So until that day we shall meet again
I’ll be thinking of you and loving without end.
Your soul is eternal, so giving, so free
But oh how I wish you were just here with me.
I pray so that God will uncover my eyes
And bless me to be with you in the skies.
For now I’ll remain on this life’s broken path
Enduring this trial of the bitter aftermath.
Each day turns to months, months into years
The world keeps on turning and won’t stop for my tears.
Oh cherished angel in heaven above
Don’t cry for me as I feel your sweet love.
For all that you’ve given, will not go to waste
I’ve learned much from your parting, fears we must face.
Yes, I am your mother, though not be your side
We are together like the moon to the tide.
And you are my sunshine, Sweet, Sweet Chan,
Never leaving my heart, never, ever can.

Love You Forever, Mom 

MY MOM IS A SURVIVOR

My Mom is a survivor, or so I’ve heard it said,
But I hear her crying at night when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night and go to hold her hand.
She doesn’t know I’m with her to help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach that never wash away...
I watch over my surviving Mom, who thinks of me each day. 

She wears a smile for others...a smile of disguise.
But through Heaven’s door I see tears flowing from her eyes.
My Mom tries to cope with death to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her, knows it is her way to survive. 

As I watch over my surviving Mom...through Heaven’s open door,
I try to tell her that angels protect me forever more.
But I know that doesn’t help her or ease the burden she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her...And show her that you care.
For no matter what she says...no matter what she feels
My surviving Mom has a broken heart that time won’t ever heal!

By Kaye DesOmereaux

A wife who loses a husband
Is called a widow
A husband who loses a wife
Is called a widower
A child who loses his parents
Is called an orphan
There is no word for a
Parent who has lost a child. 

That is how awful the loss is!