Insanity Abounds

Chapter One: Introducin� da Gang


Spry: (In creepy narrator voice) Our lovely little tail begins in a basement.

(Camera pans to a picture of a house. The camera zooms in and visual cuts through the house until we see the dark image of what appears to be a basement. We see several beanbag chairs, where four figures appear to be seated. They are seated in front of a big television.)

Spry: Now, this is no ordinary basement. This is the basement of�..

Figure 1: Will you shut up! We�re trying to watch this!

Figure 2: Yeah, dude! Gandalf is just about to die. Shhhhh!

Spry: (Even louder than before) As, I was saying, this is the basement of�..

Figure 4: It�s my basement, damnit! Now shush!

Spry: Alright, that�s it!

(By her very special magical powers, Spry pauses the movie and turns on the lights.)

All: (Covering their eyes and hissing in pain) Ahhhh! The liiiiggghhhtttt�..DOOM!!!

Spry: Stop �yer whining and get up!

(The four Figures become quiet and stand up. We see that they are four teenage girls.)

Spry: �Aight, now which one of you is which?

(We see one girl jump forward.)

Figure 3: I�m Van!

Spry: (Stares at the incredibly blonde girl suspiciously) Your name is Van?

Van: (Nods. Is wearing a big stupid blondy-ish smile on her face) It�s short for Vanessa. Long story, don�t ask.

Spry: (Raises and eyebrow) Don�t worry, I won�t. Next!

(We see another of the girls jump forward to introduce herself.)

Figure 2: Hey, my name is Stevie. Short for Stephanie, don�t ask.

Spry: (Stares at the brown haired girl and shrugs) Whatever. Who�s next?

(Another girl jumps forward, this one is a redhead.)

Figure 1: Hiya, my name is Kit, short for Kate, which is short for Kathryn, which isn�t short for anything, because it is my real name!

Spry: Wow. I�d think you�d be the blonde. Interesting. That leaves one more. (Looks at the last figure, who is leaning against the wall) Who�re you?

Figure 4: (Stands up straight) Call me Harper, yo.

Spry: (Staring at the girl and thinking)

Harper: Riiiiggghhhttt. Well, that brings me to my�..

Stevie: Why are you here in Harper�s basement, anyway?

Van: Yeah, what are you doing here in Harper�s basement? And how did you pause our movies so that we are doomed to look at greasy ranger man forever? And how did�..

Spry: (Throws hands up in the air) That�s it. Here goes nothing! STRUDLE NOODLE POODLE DOODLE, MINKEY BOODLE!

(The four girls are surrounded by a really bright glowy-light-thingy-ma-bobber. Next shot we see the four girls plummeting down from the sky to land in some randomly placed bushes.)

Kit: Owww�..my butt�..

Stevie: Yeah, I think I broke something. My arm feels weird.

Van: Oh, that�s because I�m sitting on it, sorry. You know, I feel fine!

Harper: (Angry and yelling) That�s because you�re on top, you twit! Will all of you get off of me? Jeesh! You weigh a ton!

Stevie: (Trying to act dramatic) Like, gasp, you sooo, like, didn�t just diss me and, like, call me fat!

Harper: No, just big boned.

Van: (Giggling) OooooOooo! Somebody is fat!

Stevie: (Angry) Shut up!

Kit: Dudes, chill. Hey, where are we.

(The four girls walk around looking at stuff trying to figure out where they are.)

Van: I think we�re in Disney World!

Kit: Umm�..no. Whaddya think, Sttteeeeevvvviiiieeee???

Stevie: I dunno. Hey, Harper, find anything yet?

Harper: I think so.

(The girls run over to where Harper is standing, which just happens to be on the side of a cliff.)

Stevie: So, what do ya think?

Van: I think it�s shiney!

Kit: (Smacks Van) Shut up!

Harper: (Clears throat) Well, judging by the river, and the waterfalls, and the location, and the insane-shiny-glowy-and all around pretty and cool factor, I have determined that we have fallen into Imladris, Middle-earth.

Kit: (In awe, and looking all around confuzzled) Wow. I have no idea what you just said. Wow.

Stevie: Dude. What�s an Imladris?

Harper: Rivendell, you buttmunch. Stevie: Ohhhh yeeeaaahhh�..

Van: Ohhh�.. shiney!

All: LET�S GO WREAK HAVOC!!!! YAAAAAYYYY!!!

Spry: And so, our incredibly idiotic heroines have almost safely made there way to their destination. The only thing is, will its inhabitants survive the rampage..�should be interesting. Tune in next time, same place, where insanity abounds�..


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