Spry: When we last left our heroines, they had just decided to join the Fellowship of the Ring. The poor fellas�.. they have to put up with the girls�.. Anyway, it�s only been about an hour since the counsel was finished. Let�s go see what our heroines are up to.
(We see Spry walking around Rivendell. We see her walk down a corridor and down some stairs, and towards one of the many gardens. We hear a strange giggling noise. Spry continues walking until we go through some bushes and see Kit and Stevie tickling Merry.)
Kit: (Laughing) This is fun�..teehee�..
Merry: (Laughing in-between gasps, and his eyes are tearing) Noooo�.. stop�..please�..
Stevie: No way, oh little Hobbit. This is way too much fun!
Spry: Hey hey hey!
Stevie and Kit: (Frowning) Ohh man!
Spry: (Pulling them away from the Hobbit) Yeah, oh man is right. This party�s over.
(We see the girls pouting and Merry quickly regains his composure and dusts himself off.)
Merry: Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Spry: No problamo little dude!
(We see Merry run off at a rather fast pace through the bushes.)
Kit: Gee, thanks for ruining our fun.
Spry: You�re welcome. Now go and do something else productive. When I say productive, I don�t mean attempting to molest Hobbits!
Stevie: Awwww�..
Spry: And with that said, we still have two more to find�..joy�..
(Spry turns and leaves, heading back through the gardens. After walking through several bushes we hear yet another set of noises. These appear to be clashes of swords. Spry walks through the bush and we see Van attempting to swing her sword at Aragorn.)
Van: (Whining) Why does this thing hafta be sooo heavy?
Aragorn: Stop complaining! You�ll get used to it, and besides, anything lighter won�t do much damage, should you be attacked my orcs.
(Spry walks out to see the whole scene. Aside from Aragorn, Boromir is sitting with his back up against a tree, sharpening his sword, sulking. Harper is sitting in a tree on the other side of the small opening in the garden, watching Van with amusement.)
Van: (Panting) Man, I am bad at this! Hey, Harper, why don�t you give it a try?
Harper: (Hops out of tree) For several reasons.
(Van and Aragorn have stopped, and are looking at her.)
Aragorn: What reasons could you possibly have for not wanting to learn how to defend yourself?
Harper: Well, first, Van, you need this more than I do. Second, I fear that the moment I pick up that sword I will turn into the walking, talking, Mary Sue herself. Third, I don�t want Aragorn to teach me.
Aragorn: Why would you refuse my teaching?
Harper: Don�t take it personally, Aragorn, but I�d much rather have Boromir do it, seeing as he knows absolutely everything there is to know.
(Boromir, who had been watching the entire thing, stands up.)
Boromir: For once, wench, you are right. I *could* teach you everything you need to know.
Harper: And I *could* let you do that, but you want to know something? If I *did*, then, of course, I�d actually have to spend time with you. And then you�d probably start hitting on me. Then I�d fall for you, and then I�d probably sleep with you, and then I�d probably end up with damn awful syphilis, you clown.
Van: Ooohhhh�..dissed *and* dismissed!
Aragorn: Meow!
Boromir: (Angry and insulted) Why you dirty little�
Spry: (Makes a time-out sign with her hands) Woah! Everybody STOP! First off, Harper, you won�t turn into a Mary Sue, so just practice with Aragorn. The fighting between you and Boromir has got to stop, and I am certain that Boromir does not have syphilis.
Boromir: That�s because I do not, thank you very much.
(Harper raises her hands in the air, and begins to walk off.)
Aragorn: Where are you going?
Harper: To get a Hobbit-y hug. I need one.
Van: (Running after her) Ooo! Ooo! Me too! I need a Hobbit-y hug!
(The two girls disappear behind some bushes, leaving the two men and Spry alone.)
Spry: Well, that was interesting.
Boromir: I hate women.
Spry: (Whacks him over the head) Hey! Watch who you say that to!
Aragorn: (Laughing) We all know you love it, Boromir.
Boromir: What are you talking about!?! I do not! I cannot stand this horrible little wenches!
Aragorn: Yeah, I�m sure�..
Boromir: Are you calling me a liar?
Aragorn: No, I�m calling you a love-sick puppy dog.
Spry: (Laughing) Haha! You�re a puppy dog!
Boromir: (Really, really angry) I hate you all. I am now going to sulk in a corner. I bid you all a horrible day.
(He stalks off through some bushes, which also just happen to be the same ones that Van and Harper passed through before. Spry and Aragorn look at one another and then fall to the ground laughing hysterically.)
Spry: (Gets back up) That was great.
Aragorn: Aye, it was. I will have to go and apologize to him, later, though.
Spry: Why? It was true.
Aragorn: Because I hurt the poor mans pride. He already hates me enough as it is. Besides, if I apologize than I can admit my feelings for one of the other girls openly.
Spry: (Jumps up and down and claps) Oh goodie! Which one?
Aragorn: (Slightly embarrassed) Stevie�..
Spry: Interesting. Hey, what about Arwen?
Aragorn: Forget Arwen! She�s a creepy, whiney, old Elf.
Arwen: (Crying hysterically in front of Figwit) He doesn�t love me!!!!
Figwit: (Hugging Arwen) It�s alright, Arwen. Besides, I�m here. You don�t need that stinky old ranger, you have me.
Arwen: (Looking up and him with tears in her eyes) Really?
Figwit: Yeah. Come on, Baby. Let�s go to my room. I can think of something that will help cheer you up!
Arwen: (Suddenly perky) Okie!
(The two exit the room. Arwen has finally stopped crying, though her face is still tearstained. She walks down to Figwit�s room with a very very happy looking Figwit latched onto her arm. Gee, I wonder what they�ll be doing�..)
