Chapter Thirty Three: More Than Just the Usual Suspects
(We still find ourselves still in Dunharrow with a nervous looking Stevie. She appears to be looking for something, or someone at least. After several moments of pacing between tents, she runs into a certain March Warden of Lothlorien, who she grabs by the tunic and drags into an empty tent.)
Stevie: I need to talk to you. This is very important.
Haldir: (groans) What are you up to now?
Stevie: I need you to do something for me. This is very important!
Haldir: Does it involve you plotting not to go to Lorien with me?
Stevie: Sort of.
Haldir: You had better have one very good reason for this. I�m not going to agree with this to begin with, but if you have some bad excuse I�m going straight to Aragorn with it.
Stevie: (stares at him) You can�t tell Aragorn because I have a good reason.
Haldir: What is it that you want to do?
Stevie: Remember how I told you once that I know the fate of Middle-earth?
Haldir: Aye, I remember. (eyes her suspiciously) What of it?
Stevie: Well, certain things are about to happen that aren�t supposed to�..things that�ll ruin everything.
Haldir: Like what?
Stevie: Like Merry going to Lorien. He can�t go to Lorien, Haldir, he can�t.
Haldir: Why not?
Stevie: I can�t tell you. It�d ruin everything�..can you just believe me for a moment?
Haldir: Fine, I�ll believe you. First you have to tell me what you intend on doing.
Stevie: Oh yeah, because I�m obviously not going to Lorien with you.
Haldir: (sighs) I�m not going to live through this am I?
Stevie: You will, but it isn�t you I�m worried about.
Haldir: Not me? Who then?
Stevie: Who do you think I�m worried about?
Haldir: (thinks for a moment) Halbarad?
Stevie: Whoot! And Mister March Warden is correct!
Haldir: And you want to go out and make sure nothing happens to him, correct?
Stevie: Yes, I do�..please?
Haldir: Well, you can�t just stay in Dunharrow. Aragorn will notice that.
Stevie: Well, maybe we can find someone to put on a horse in my place�..who might be able to pass as me?
Haldir: What about Arcane? She wanted to go with me anyway.
Stevie: Perfect! I�ll pretend to get on a horse and get ready to leave with you, and when we�re far enough off and Aragorn is headed into the Paths of the Dead, we�ll stick Arcane on my horse and send her off!
Haldir: (nods) No one else will know�..but what will you do after that?
Stevie: I�m going to snatch up some Rohirric armor, get another horse, and ride out in disguise to Gondor.
Haldir: (turns pale) Don�t tell me you�re going to fight!
Stevie: Not unless absolutely necessary, I promise. I have business to attend to in Gondor, from there I can keep an eye out on Halbarad and some other guys.
Haldir: Are you going to tell Kit and Van of your plan?
Stevie: (shakes her head) No, I can�t. I know Aragorn will interrogate them before we leave to see if there is a plan for us to ride off into danger.
Haldir: (glares) So I�m supposed to tell them?
Stevie: No! I�ve written a letter to each of them, all you have to do is give it to them after I leave with Merry and Arcane is in my spot.
Haldir: I really don�t like this and I don�t think your plot is going to work.
Stevie: I won�t know until I try, Haldir, and I have to try, you know that.
Haldir: Yes, I know. We leave in two hours time. You better be ready by then. I�ll go let Arcane know what�s going on. You�d better get to work on your end of the deal.
Stevie: Oh I will, don�t worry. Oh, and Haldir?
Haldir: Yeah?
Stevie: Thank you so much for this.
Haldir: It is I who should be thanking you.
Stevie: For what?
Haldir: Arcane.
Stevie: (smiles) Is she the one?
Haldir: I barely know her but�..as you would say: �I�m sensing some good vibes from this one�.
Stevie: Good, I�m glad. Good luck.
Haldir: Good luck to you to. May the Valar protect you�..and give you common sense.
Stevie: (chuckles) And to you to, my friend. Fare well.
(Meanwhile, over at yonder Gladden River, our favorite Man of Gondor and the future Lady of Gondor are�..wrestling? Yes, they are wrestling�..in the river. Well, it was on the river bank, but then Boromir threw Harper into the river, so not it�s officially in the river.
Harper: (dunking Boromir�s head under water) That is what you get for throwing me into the river!
Boromir: (coming back up) Is that all?
(The then proceeds in dragging her out of the river, tossing her on the bank, nearly jumping on top of her and staring to tickle her mercilessly. She�s laughing so hard she can barely talk.)
Harper: (gasping for air) Eep! Stop! Uncle! You win! Ahh!
Boromir: So you submit to defeat?
Harper: Only when defeat starts with the tickling bit.
Boromir: (chuckles) It�s a powerful form of negotiation. Too bad you can�t use it on everyone.
Harper: Yeah�..but hey, can you even imagine tickling Sauron into giving up his whole destruction of Middle-earth deal?
Boromir: That would be interesting�..even more so when you think of Sauron as a giant fiery eyeball.
Harper: (laughs) That�s great. Tickling an eye wreathed in flame. Sounds like fun. (sighs) So, you up for some breakfast?
(Back in Gondor, if you remember, are Gandalf and a certain Peregrine Took. Now, a lot has happened since they left that night. Gandalf has been busy doing all sorts of things, including lighting the Beacons of Gondor. Also, Pippin has sworn fealty to Gondor and is now serving the Steward Denethor. The two are currently in Gandalf�s sleeping quarters talking.)
Pippin: So what do you think everyone else is doing right now?
Gandalf: Well, if Aragorn is doing what I said he should be preparing to do to the Paths of the Dead with Gimli and Legolas. Stevie, Kit, and Van, as well as Merry, should be going with Haldir to Lorien. Frodo and Sam should be well on their way into Mordor, I hope. As for Harper and Boromir, I really have no idea.
Pippin: I hope they haven�t killed each other. I�d very much like to be able to see them again if we all live through this,
Gandalf: I don�t think you�ll have to worry about that.
Pippin: And Merry to. I miss him something terrible already�..I feel so lost without him.
Gandalf: I�m not surprised to hear that. You and Merry have been inseparable since the day you were born.
Pippin: That�s right. And I hope Frodo and Sam make it out all right. The world sort of depends on them, doesn�t it?
Gandalf: It does. All we can do is hope that Frodo�s strength holds up.
Pippin: (smiles) It will. I know it will.
Gandalf: And how is that, Pippin?
Pippin: He�s got Sam with him and Sam will do everything in his power to make sure he�s alright. Everything will be fine, just you wait and see.
(Meanwhile, over at Dunharrow Stevie is talking with her connections. Who are they? More like who is she, but in any case, she�s talking to Eowyn. This should be interesting.)
Stevie: Don�t give me that crap, Eowyn. I know what you�re planning and I need your help right now.
Eowyn: Oh? What am I planning?
Stevie: You�re going to dress up as one of the Rohirrim and ride out tonight.
Eowyn: (glares) How did you find out?
Stevie: That�s a secret, but don�t worry no one else knows. I need you to do me a favor.
Eowyn: And if I won�t you�ll snitch on me, is that it?
Stevie: I�m not that kind of a person, Eowyn. I�d just have to do it myself, and it�d be more difficult. So will you help me?
Eowyn: Name it.
Stevie: I need armor�..a shield, the whole Riders of Rohan deal. Can you get me that?
Eowyn: That�s easy enough. It that all?
Stevie: No, you�re going to need to see to it that you get the same stuff in a child�s size.
Eowyn: What ever for?
Stevie: Our dearest Meriadoc just went off to swear fealty to your uncle. He is doing so as we speak. Because of this he won�t be able to ride out to Lorien in a few hours. He must stay here.
Eowyn: Aye, I know how that works. So, you, Merry, and me are going to dress of like real warriors and save the day?
