Chapter Thirty Six: Trying to Ride Off Into The Sunrise
(We find that night has passed since last we were here and our dear friends back in Lothlorien have eaten and slept in the comforts of Caras Galadhon. It is now just before dawn, and as agreed, Harper and Boromir are preparing to head South. The two are currently packing their horses and talking.)
Boromir: I really don�t think killing Stevie is an effective way of dealing with the situation.
Harper: You sound like some old quack. Knock it off.
Boromir: Quack?
Harper: A psychiatrist, a person you talk to clear up your thoughts when you have emotional and mental problems. A doctor of the mind from where I come from.
Boromir: Oh, we have those. They�re a bunch of crazy old people. I personally think they all just got into the pipeweed.
Harper: How lovely.
Boromir: I still don�t think it�s a good idea.
Harper: I�m not actually going to kill her. I�m not allowed to kill the future Queen of Gondor, anyway. They�ll send me to prison.
Boromir: So what are you going to do then?
Harper: Hope that she doesn�t get herself killed, that�s what. Come on. I want to say goodbye to everyone�..and then we can head off.
(Over near the encampment in Lorien, everyone is just kind of hanging out. Kit and Van are talking quietly and Arcane is shuffling about while Haldir is leaning up against a tree quietly. They all stayed there for the night so they could spend some time together, also so that the other Elves would have time to prepare flets for their new guests. Harper and Boromir enter the scene and they immediately have the attention of everyone.)
Haldir: Come to say goodbye?
Boromir: How�d you guess, Haldir?
Van: (jumping on Harper) Come back, okie?
Harper: Yes, ma�am. You two are going to take care of yourselves, right?
Kit: We will, we promise. Bring everybody back safe, aight?
Boromir: We�ll all be fine, don�t worry. Don�t give Haldir and Arcane any trouble.
Van: (getting off Harper to leap on top of Boromir) Don�t do anything stupid, okie?
Boromir: I won�t, I won�t. Now we must be off.
Arcane: Take care of yourselves and have fun.
Haldir: Don�t let Aragorn kill you.
Harper: We�ll try not to. See you when we get back.
(After this little episode the two head back off to their horses. Unfortunately, for both of them, they run into the creepy and overly annoying Galadriel. Gee, wonder why she�s here, but hey. Tsk tsk on me, the poor Parenthesis Guy. Heaven forbid I should ever actually express what I think. Oh, would you look at that. It�s too late, my opinion has already been expressed�..creepy, ugly old broad�..)
Galadriel: I must speak with you two on matters of great importance.
Harper: Oh really? What a coincidence because we were just hoping to slip out of here quietly.
(Boromir gives Harper a look, warning her to be polite to one of the eldest and wisest Elf buttmonkeys alive.)
Boromir: We would appreciate it greatly if you would tell us of these matters, Lady.
Galadriel: You cannot leave here. Not now. I insist that you stay here with your other friends for a time. You will both get yourselves killed if you leave.
Harper: No can do. We�re leaving right now.
Galadriel: I am insisting that you not leave. I have foreseen a great peril that you shall both face. You will not come out of it alive.
Harper: Welcome to Middle-earth, Galadriel! We�re in the middle of a war! Everything puts us into some great peril!
Boromir: I am sorry my lady, but we cannot be delayed any further. We must leave now if we hope to avoid some of the troubles we are expecting along our road. We do appreciate your advice more than you could know.
Harper: Come on, Boromir, let�s get going.
Galadriel: Not so fast, you two. I told you I insist. If that means keeping you here I shall see that you are kept.
Harper: You intend to keep us here by force?
Galadriel: If you won�t do as I say, yes, I do intend to do so.
Boromir: My lady, you would not dare.
Galadriel: I already have.
(So, just then a bunch of the Lothlorien guards come out from behind the trees. They have their bows drawn and ready for any resistance. Two come near and relieve Harper and Boromir of their weaponry while another two grab their personal belongings off from the horses a few feet away. Both Harper and Boromir are absolutely, completely, and unbelievably angry at the moment.)
Harper: You dirty little Elf wretch! This is ridiculous!
Galadriel: Now, now, Hannah. Impudence does not befit a future Lady of Gondor. If you two cooperate, this will not be difficult. I am only doing this out of concern for the both of you. I simply cannot allow the two of you to run off and get yourselves killed.
Boromir: (to Harper) She�s mad. I thought I was the crazy one!
Harper: You�re telling me.
Galadriel: Now just do as you are told. The guards will see you both to guarded flets. If need be we shall have you separated, and I hope we won�t need to do that.
Harper: You are still insane, you creepy creepy she-elf!
Boromir: You won�t get away with this!
Galadriel: Do not assume to tell the Lady of the Golden Wood what she can and cannot get away with. (to the guards) Take them to their flets.
(So the guards carry off Harper and Boromir, the whole while two other friends of ours were watching behind the trees. Who would they be? Rumil and Orophin, naturally.)
Orophin: We must do something about this. We should alert Haldir. He�ll know what to do.
Rumil: I think our lady has lost it and I think you�re right. Haldir will have an idea.
Orophin: (grins) Well, if he doesn�t, his new woman friend should.
