Chapter One: This One Came From the Beanie of Inspiration
The Kingdom of Stadlos, a place so very different from all the other kingdoms to be found in Valhalla, had actually beginning to bore a certain Riovas Pan. Now, Riovas had never been to Stadlos before, but he was on a mission that would drive him to the very edges of the earth. It could possibly be referred to as a quest, or even just a thing, for lack of a better word. This is not the point. The point is that he had every fiber of his being concentrated on completing this�thing.
Now, one might wonder why he was even out doing this thing, or what this thing really was. Riovas was out in search of a wife. He had a point to prove. He had to prove the fact that even though he had the ridiculously fruity first name of Riovas, he was not a cream puff and would not be thought of as such. So off he was in the wild, wild world trying to get hitched.
Riovas, a native of the Kingdom of Ank, or the outskirts anyway, had been traveling far and wide. He had arrived in Stadlos five days ago and since that time he had done naught but sit around at the local tavern being ridiculed for his fruity name and his Ankien accent. Riovas was not one to be too terribly bothered by these things. After all, he had survived that time that the older village boys had stripped him naked and tied him up by his ankles so he could hang upside down from a large tree branch that hung just over the main road. That hadn�t been too bad. After all, he had only been left there for three whole days and that squirrel that attacked hadn�t tried to rip all of his flesh off, so life was okay.
So off he went into town to see what the local market had to sell. The market was actually fairly interesting because it had some people. There were food stands selling many different types of foods, many he had never seen before. Not like he had ever seen real food anyway. He spent most of his childhood strung up in his birthday suit from a tree and because he could never get down until someone came to rescue him, he never got to help out in the fields. Without him helping in the fields, there wasn�t enough work done and never enough food for him anyway. So, in the cold winter months Riovas had resorted to eating frozen dirt.
Now, as he walked, something caught his eye. It was no foreign food, no gem from a distant land, but a girl. Not just any girl, but a beautiful one to say the least. Sometime in-between ogling at her, with her pale skin and golden tresses, Riovas realized he was in love. He knew he would have to make a move before this beautiful girl got away, so being his naturally suave self; he gracefully made his way over to the fig stand where she was browsing. She noticed his coming and spared a brief glance in his direction. Brief enough that she did not notice when he tripped over that randomly placed chicken and then proceeded to stumble into a cart piled high with freshly picked apples.
After regaining his footing as well as his composure, he carefully brushed himself off, returned to his suave fa�ade, and waltzed right on over to her. He pretended to look at the figs, occasionally risking a glance at her to see if she was paying him any heed. It was then that she noticed that she had come to stand right up next to him and he heard a voice whisper in his ear.
�I enjoyed your little dance with the chicken.�
Riovas� heart leapt with joy for he knew that voice belonged to the woman with whom he had spent the last three minutes being infatuated. He turned to look at her, and when he found himself face to face with her he also found himself at a lack of words.
�I�I�umm�fig?� he said as he frantically grabbed a fig and held it out to her.
�I do believe I have enough,� she said, pointing to her basket of figs. He furrowed his brow for a moment trying to think of something he could give her, but she already had something in mind it seemed. She took the fig he was holding out of his hand, tossed it aside and took his hand in hers. She turned and started leading him off away from the market.
He had no idea where they were going, but he didn�t care. He was the happiest man alive. Images rushed through his head. Things he could picture about their future. They would get married and have children and do everything together. When they invented dental floss she would be the first one he would share it with, but all of this mattered not. Now all he had to concentrate on was being this pretty girl�s little love penguin. Not like he even knew what a penguin was. It didn�t matter because he didn�t think that you even needed to know what a penguin was to be a love penguin. He would make sure that they did happily ever mambo off into the sunset. But first, he needed to take dance lessons.
