by KatiKat
There was a knock on the door to his room. Yuki raised
his eyes from the book he was reading. He pulled his bookmark out from the back
of the book and put it between the pages he had read last, then turned in the
chair.
"Come in," he called.
The door slid to the side revealing...
"Haru?"
The black and white haired boy looked nervous, but a
strange determination had settled in his eyes as he looked at his cousin
through his bangs. He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him
carefully.
"Can I... can I talk to you for a moment,
Yuki?" he asked.
Yuki stood up. "Yes, of course," he agreed.
Whatever his cousin wanted to discuss, it was making him uncomfortable. In an
attempt to reassure Haru, he moved to the bed and sat down on the edge. Yuki then
patted the empty space next to him, inviting the younger boy to sit down.
Haru crossed the room and hesitantly sat down next to
Yuki. He was quiet for a moment, clasped hands pressed between his knees. He
wasnīt looking at the violet eyed boy, his eyes were glued to the carpet.
"Whatīs wrong, Haru?" Yuki asked after a
while, gently so as not to spook the other boy.
"Itīs... do you... are you so disgusted by
me?" Haru asked hesitantly, his voice low.
"Huh?" Yuki raised his eyebrows. "What
are you talking about?"
Haru shrugged. "Itīs just... I love you-"
"Haru-" Yuki tried to jump in, but his
cousin wouldnīt let him.
"-but you have never thought about me in that
way, have you? You wouldnīt even consider having a relationship with me."
Finally he lifted his eyes and looked at Yuki. "Are you so put off by me?
By my love?"
He sounded so utterly miserable that Yuki didnīt even
think about turning it into a joke or snapping at him like he usually did.
"Thatīs not it, Haru, really. You donīt disgust me. Itīs just... itīs just
that I donīt think you really love me." He raised his hand to silence any
protests. "And if it is true... I... Iīm not..." his voice trailed
off.
"Gay?" Haru finished the sentence for him.
Yuki looked away but nodded. "Yeah."
"And how do you know?"
"Huh?" Yuki turned back to his cousin, the
look in his eyes confused. "What do you mean?"
Haru turned his body towards Yuki, lifting his left
leg and sitting down on it. "I mean - have you ever been in love? Have you
kissed somebody? Did you make love to them?"
Yuki blushed. These were pretty personal questions
Haru was asking. "Err... itīs not that easy. The curse and the whole touching
thing..." he waved his hand vaguely.
"Does that mean that you are a complete virgin
where sex is concerned?"
Yuki turned away and blushed even more. "Haru...
I donīt think this is any of your business-"
"Allow me to kiss you," Haru interrupted his
violet eyed cousin.
"What?" Yuki looked back at him, totally
shocked.
The white haired boy nodded as if deciding on
something. "Letīs make a deal. You let me kiss you and if you donīt like
it, I will never bother you again," he suggested.
"Haru..." Yuki trailed off. His cousin
looked really determined. It was obvious he was setting everything on the turn
of this one card. At first Yuki had thought it was ridiculous and was determined
to say no. But now... Yuki always felt uncomfortable when Haru chased after him
and this was a perfect opportunity to get rid of the problem. He would let Haru
kiss him, he would tell Haru he didnīt like it and Haru would leave him alone.
The possibility that he might actually like the kiss never even crossed his
mind. "Okay, Haru. I agree."
The younger boy blinked, looking at him in surprise.
"Really? You do?"
Yuki nodded. "Yes. But if I tell you that I donīt
like it, you will never ever bother me again. Agreed?"
"And you will not cheat?" Haru asked with
suspicion.
Yuki shook his head. "I swear." He wouldnīt
have to since he was absolutely positive that he wouldnīt like it.
"Okay, agreed," Haru nodded. He raised his
arms and laid them on Yukiīs shoulders. Then he turned him a little so that the
older boy was facing him. Haru raised Yukiīs head with one hand then slowly, oh
so slowly lowered his head, giving Yuki plenty of time to pull away. He didnīt though.
Yuki closed his eyes as he felt warm lips descend on
his. It was a gentle gesture, nothing harsh, forceful or demanding. Haruīs lips
were so soft and velvety. He felt one of the white haired boyīs hands move to the
back of his neck while the other caressed his cheek with his thumb. A strange
sensation, like the fluttering of thousands of butterflies, settled in his
stomach. A feeling of warmth spread in his chest. He felt safe... loved...
wanted... like never before. Strange...
When Haru finally moved away, Yuki kept his eyes
closed for a moment. The wonderful feeling was disappearing slowly and he felt
like crying. He wanted to feel it again. With all of his mental power he tried
to hold onto sensation but finally, inevitably, it vanished.
Yuki opened his eyes and looked at Haru, who was
watching him intently, expectantly. Yuki could swear though, that there was
something sad in those deep gray pools. Startled, he realized that Haru was expecting
to be rejected. He didnīt think that Yuki could ever love him but he had had to
try, even though he could end up with only one kiss as a memory for the whole of
his life. For the cursed ones love only once in their lifetime. Yuki didnīt
doubt Haruīs feelings anymore. Haru loved him with all his heart, mind and
soul...
When Haruīs eyes started to darken with pain and
disappointment, Yuki realized he had to make his move now or never. For any moment
now, this road would close forever. He had never known that there could be
something like this... such a warm feeling, he craved more. Now that he had learned
of it... and because he promised not to lie... he moved, carefully lying his
head down onto Haruīs shoulder. He fisted his hands in his cousinīs shirt and
closed his eyes. He couldnīt say it, he just couldnīt. But if he showed it...
For a moment, the completely surprised and shocked
Haru froze. Then slowly as if still not quite believing his luck, he put his
arms around Yuki and sighed deeply.
"I... I donīt know what to do," Yuki
whispered, years and years of loneliness hiding behind his words. "Iīm
not... good... with these things..."
"Things?" Haru asked just as quietly.
"Yīknow... touching... intimacy... I havenīt been
hugged since... I donīt even remember when it was," he admitted, his eyes
still closed. It felt so good. He would have never suspected that he craved the
human touch so much.
"Itīs okay," Haru whispered, caressing his
back gently. "We will move at your pace. We donīt need to rush
things," he assured Yuki and kissed the top of his head.
"And what if... what if it doesnīt work
out?"
Haru shrugged. "Then we will know that we at
least tried."
Yuki nodded slowly. He didnīt know if he loved Haru,
but he liked the way it felt being in his arms. And if it didnīt work out... he
would at least have some memories that would warm him when he felt lonely...
Yuki had been lonely for so long... but now he didnīt
have to be anymore.
The End