The Treasure in His Hands

 

by KatiKat

 

 

Haruka woke up to the feeling of someone watching him. A low rumble escaped his throat as he shot up in his bed and crouching low, he gripped the crozier tightly in his hand, the metal circles clattering at the staff's end. He narrowed his eyes and scanned his dark room for the intruder that disturbed his sleep, only to open them wide when he finally found him.

 

"Kantarou?" he whispered, taken completely by surprise.

 

The white haired man stood at the threshold of the open paper covered sliding door, touching the door frame with his right hand. He was barefoot, dressed only in his loose white yukatta. His head was cocked slightly to one side, his dark eyes wide open, staring at the tengu transfixed.

 

Receiving no reaction from the other man, Haruka frowned, laying the crozier aside. "Kantarou, are you alright? Did something happen?" he asked, his body still taut, ready to fight and protect.

 

Kantarou finally released the door frame and stepped into the tengu's bedroom. His bare feet slapped against the tatami quietly as he made his way across the room to where Haruka knelt on his futon among the crumpled bedsheets.

 

As he reached the tengu, Kantarou dropped to his knees and as if caught in a dream, he reached out to lay his small hands on Haruka's cheeks. Then he leaned closer until his soft mouth touched the half-opened lips of his friend. Haruka gasped in surprise and tried to pull back but Kantarou followed, not releasing him from the soft, warm kiss.

 

When Haruka finally extricated himself from Kantarou's show of affection, he gripped the white-haired man's hands in his, squeezing them gently and looked his master in the eyes. "Kantarou, what's going on? Why are you doing this?" The tone of his voice was urgent, demanding an answer.

 

The dream-like expression on Kantarou's face shattered and now it was he who tried to pull away, lowering his head and looking away, not meeting the tengu's questioning gaze. He tugged at the hands, holding his, in vain. "Please, let go..."

 

When Haruka spoke, his voice was firmer, louder. "No. Kantarou, please. Tell me. Talk to me. Something is obviously bothering you. Please..."

 

Kantarou ceased struggling and mumbled something quietly.

 

Haruka frowned. "What did you say?"

 

The white-haired man lifted his head, but couldn't look the tengu in the eyes. "I don't want you to disappear. Not again. This time, I wouldn't survive it." The admittance was spoken in a soft voice.

 

The tengu's eyes opened wide. "What...? I..." Then he understood and blinked in shock, stifling a curse that threatened to pass his lips. "And you thought that if you offered yourself to me, I wouldn't leave? What would this be? Your body as a... bribe?" He spat out the last word angrily.

 

Kantarou shrank in front of his eyes. "I have nothing else to give. I already shared everything I have with you. And it hasn't been enough. I don't have anything else..."

 

All the anger Haruka felt burned out. For the first time since he returned to Kantarou's estate, he truly looked at his master. The man was only skin and bones, white as a sheet, with dark circles under his eyes. Despite Kantarou's small height he never considered him frail. Until now. He could feel every bone of the hands he held in his, the chilled skin, the shivers that ran through the crouched body in front of him.

 

Shock seized him. He left to protect his friend, to keep him safe. But he had obviously accomplished just the opposite. In his heart of hearts he knew how important Kantarou was to him. He hadn't known that his feelings were reciprocated. And with such a ferocity too. What would have happened if he stayed away and refused to come back? He remembered Kantarou almost fainting by the temple and felt a chill pass through his guts. What had he done? In his attempt to save Kantarou he almost destroyed him.

 

He caught his master's hands in one of his and used the other to lift the other man's chin. "Kantarou. Look at me, Kantarou," he ordered in a whisper when his master kept his eyes closed and waited until the dark eyes met his. "I promised and now I swear. I won't leave you alone. No matter what. Never. I will be here for you. Always."

 

Kantarou blinked at him, once, twice, seeking reassurance. And when he found it in the tengu's gentle eyes, he collapsed into the waiting arms, pressing his head into the crook of Haruka's neck.

 

Haruka embraced his master gently as Kantarou shuddered with dry sobs, his body surrendering to the strain of the past couple of months, releasing all the pent up anguish. And Haruka held him, murmuring gentle nonsense, to quiet the despair that shook Kantarou to the core of his being.

 

And when Kantarou’s sobs turned to hiccups and then his breathing deepened with sleep, instead of waking him up, Haruka slid the both of them under the covers, smiling as Kantarou snuggled closer, seeking the tengu's warmth.

 

Haruka laid one arm around Kantarou's shoulders and in the silver light of the moon, streaming in through the window, he watched his master sleep, the deep regret strengthening his resolve not to let anything like that happen ever again should it be in his power to prevent it. Because despite his so called servitude, he loved his master and was determined to protect him, even from Kantarou himself.

 

He kissed the white head resting on his shoulder and went to sleep.

 

The End