Transcribed by
Alex
As Told By Nik
To Alex
In a conversation
Which Alex lost
And later found.
The next day, Nik invented the internet and started a forum for a band he created by master puppeteering called "Red Carpet Disasters."
He watched it grow and grow until one day he blessed the world with a website/side project/reason-internet-was-created and it was called... www.shitcity.com.
He spread word throughout the forum of Red Carpet Disasters(then the only other website on the internet) and that's when something terrible happened... People started to hate Nik.
Nik thought quickly, with his MacGeyver wit, and backpeddled to a conclusion that would solve all his problems. He would force people to look at picture of shit porn, bloody penises, and random homosexual erotic acts.
Why didn't they turn their head? Well because nik also invented something we now call "music."
I know it may sound crazy, but this music started stirring up all these emotions in people. Emotions they never new they had. And thus, his third and most powerful invention came. The erection. Now most people dont know this about Nik, but he is currently funnelling his erotic/awesome/godlike tallent through a bass guitar(the most petty of all instruments of which only Nik can make amazing.) He now plays in THE CINNAMEN!!!
These Cinnamen fought Nik's tyrannical rule and created their own website, for Nik was the only one who had created websites before.
The ballsy move gave nik an erection, and then an idea, and that idea was...
(And by you know what I mean a big plate of moms spaghetti with marinara sauce.)