The door slams shut. Maverick is probably off to talk about how awesome the Tampa Bay Bucs are to another 1,000 people. Kurt Slasher and Nakedman stand in two different corners of the room, nervously staring at each other in silence.

 

Naked: …

 

Kurt Slasher: …

 

The silence is broken.

 

Naked: So, nice tattoo. *munch*munch*

 

He talks whilst eating his delicious banana.

 

Naked: You know, I hear that this guy named Brock Lesnar has one in the exact same pla-

 

*SMACK*

 

Slasher slaps the banana right out of Nakedman’s hand and it flies out a window.

 

Kurt Slasher: Cut the small talk. You haven’t seen a bit of what I can do yet and you don’t want to see. When the time comes, the Human Torture Machine will crush you with-

 

Naked: Who’s the Human Torture Machine?

 

Kurt Slasher: *sigh*… me.

 

Naked: You know, I was enjoying that banana. And now you smacked it away with great velocity. You better hope that it did not ricochet off of something outside and come back into the castle through a window on another floor. Because someone could really slip on it.

 

[plot device now seeded]

 

Kurt Slasher: Okay. I WAS going to just wait the three minutes and start my way out of here. But the more you talk- the more you are asking to be shut up. So don’t be surprised if you don’t make it out of this room, let alone out of the castle.

 

Naked: Hey! We can work together. You know, to help each other find our way out. Really… then when we find the way out we can fight there like gentlemen. But not Gentleman the wrestler. He is a fed killer.

 

Kurt walks forward and Nakedman realizes he does not have a comparative size advantage.

 

Naked: WATCH OUT!

 

Nakedman charges forward, thrusting his loins out.

 

Kurt Slasher: AGH! Get that away from me!!!! What are you? Some kind of-

 

Naked: -Nudist? YES! I swear I will rub this thing against your leg!

 

Kurt backs off. He could probably take Nakedman, but does he really want to wrestle with a nude guy? You know, his stuff will be all rubbing up against him. That doesn’t sound too pleasant at all, now does it?

 

Kurt Slasher: Hrm, now I see your strategy. It’s kind of smart… in a stupid sort of way. You can’t be beat if a guy doesn’t want to touch you, huh? We’ll see about that.

 

The Human Torture Machine (friends call him just HTM, it’s the cool thing to do) walks over towards the window and grabs at an old curtain, tearing it from its hooks.

 

Kurt Slasher: Once I get this thing wrapped around your lower half-

 

Naked: Hahaha! Up to now I have been fooling you, making you think that I am a novice at wrestling. But that is far from the truth. I actually-

 

*WHAM*

 

Kurt Slasher kicks Nakedman in the face then throws the curtain on him.

 

Downstairs, watching on a yet undestroyed monitor…

 

Davros: WHOA! Check that out, BRB fans! Instead of just finding their way out of the castle, it looks like these two are actually going to do some brawling! Slasher has got Nakedman down and is trying to maneuver that cloth around him to hide the nasty bits that force us to televise this whole event from the waist-up in the first place!

 

After getting the curtain wrapped around fairly well, Kurt Slasher brings Nakedman to his feet and places an arm across his chest. He lifts Nakedman up and slaps him down, back-first onto the floor, falling with him.

 

Davros: Oh! I hear that that was Kurt’s “Death From Above” move! That is what this sheet of paper in front of me says.

 

Kurt picks himself up and stands by the door.

 

Kurt Slasher: I bet I’ll be out of the castle before you even pick yourself up.

 

Naked: Ugh… wanna bet? NAKED POWER!

 

That Six Million Dollar Man sound effect plays as Nakedman jumps up and grabs onto Kurt, pulling him away from the door and back towards the window. This would be the same window the curtain was pulled from and the banana was thrown out of. Meanwhile, said curtain has fallen off of Nakedman and to the floor, re-exposing him.

 

Naked: I WILL DEFENESTRATE YOU! Mwhahaha!

 

Nakedman pushes him in an effort to drop him right out of the window. But then he stops, seeing the moat below.

 

Naked: No. If I do that, then you’ll technically be out of the castle first. And you might not even die, because there is a moat around it. Unless they have awesome alligators, in which case he’d be eaten. But he’d be eaten and he’d still win. And what the hell does defenestrate mean anyway? It’s not like-

 

*CLICK*

 

Nakedman turns his head towards the door, which just made the clicking noise.

 

Looks like the three minutes are up. Crappy Bishoff joke intentionally avoided.

 

Naked: Hahaha… seems like I’m on the winning path now, Boring Promo Torture Machine! I’ll just be on my way and- WHOA!!!!

 

Nakedman stumbles with the curtain at his feet and falls face-first to the floor.

 

Kurt Slasher: Hehehe… what a loser.

 

Slasher brushes himself off, walks to the door and turns the knob. It opens.

 

Kurt Slasher: See you on the other side of the moat.

 

Exeunt.

 

Naked: Douchebag.

 

Picking himself up, Nakedman peaks out of the door himself.

 

Naked: Wow. Look how big this tower is. And it’s just a tiny part of the castle. This thing is gonna be huge! I don’t know how I’m going to find my way out of here. Well, guess I better just shut up and get started.

 

He walks out of the room and down a creaky hallway. And by that I mean the floors creak when he walks. The smell of oldness persists in a tangible way. Dusty and dark, this castle tower is no place to be.

 

Naked: This castle totally SUCKS! I hate this castle! I can’t wait to get out of this dumb place. Thank goodness the event is to get out of the castle instead of to get in it. I don’t know if I could ever do that. Who in the hell would ever want to break into this place?

 

 

Meanwhile, outside of the castle…

--------

 

Skeletor: We must breach the gate and enter the castle! Then the power of the elders shall be ours! We shall bring all of Eternia to its knees, mwa-hahahahahahaaha!

 

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