In the year that passed after that day when Sally’s father hit her mother, their house, and their lives turned black with the stench of hatred. The pain of a brother’s loss could not be overcome. The desperate frustration of a failed marriage was always on the surface. And the anger. The anger of a life that did not measure up to hopes or expectations.
It was a whole month before he hit her again. An entire month of yelling and threats. Little Sally kept herself hidden away at the top of the stairs. In her room mostly, but sometimes she couldn’t help watching the battle from the top step. It was a dangerous vantagepoint, as she might get hit by a mortar or get caught in the crossfire of blazing machine guns. But she was involved in this war, and she had to know its progress. She would sit there crying, wishing she had different parents, a different life. But no amount of wishing would stop the screaming. This was when Sally’s dark side really began.
Yes, war is hell. The killing can’t be helped. And little Sally Benton was a living, breathing casualty.
A guy in a black T-shirt and jeans came over to claim the cue ball. She rolled it over to him, making sure only the sole of her boot touched it.
“Thanks,” he said smiling as he picked it up.
He saw the contraption under the table, “What’s that?”
“It’s, um, my uh...flashlight.”
“What’re all those wires?”
Cindy wanted to tell him to go away.
But before she could Sally said, “They connect it to the battery pack.”
“That must be a damn bright flashlight if it takes that big of battery.”
“If you only knew.”
Sally was smiling. This guy was kinda cute. He glanced over at the pool table, and then back at Sally.
“Do you play pool?”
She looked at his friend across the bar, waiting for him, “No, not really.”
“How about darts?”
“Yeah, sometimes, but I can’t right now.”
“Oh well, maybe later then.” He had that dissapointed-but-trying-not-to-look-dissapointed look.
“We’ve just been having a really bad day.”
The words coming off her tongue tasted like such a lame excuse.
“I hope your day gets better. If you change your mind, I’ll be right over here.”
He smiled, turned, and walked back to his game.
My day is better already.
She watched him walk away.
“He’s got a nice butt, doncha think?” she whispered, grinning.
Cindy gently slapped Sally on the shoulder, “Sal, people are trying to kill us, remember?”
“Yeah, I know,” She looked back at the front door.
It seemed like forever sitting in the bar that afternoon. After a few hours Cindy was convinced that it was safe to go home. It was nowhere near dark, but it would have to be close enough.
“I’m going home.”
“You sure you wanna do that? They could still be hanging around.”
Cindy was rubbing her neck, “I’ll take my chances.”
“Okay, Cin. Be careful.”
“You should come too. Just leave that damn thing right there on the floor, and go.”
“I can’t. I just...I just need some time to figure out what to do.”
“Well, God knows I can’t stop you. Gimmie a call tonight and let me know how you are. Okay?”
“Okay.”
Sally watched as Cindy looked down the sidewalk both directions, and then walked away. Sally sat alone at the little table drinking her Pepsi and crunching the ice in her teeth. Her thoughts drifted between Star Wars and the black suit guys. It was like she held the plans to the ultimate weapon and the agents of the empire would do anything to get their hands on them. But, one question stood out in her mind like no other. What did she stand to gain from all of this? There was no medal waiting for her. She wasn’t saving the universe from intergalactic tyranny. The world was a dangerous place with or without this technology. So, what could possibly be in this for her? Why would she risk her life for someone else’s invention? She looked down at the black box and wires, at the elegant weapon of the Jedi.
Because this is the war I’ve been fighting my whole life.
Cindy couldn’t understand that. No one could. Her father’s pain had been passed along to her like some twisted inheritance or hand-me-down. Like that ugly, tan corduroy jacket that you hated. But it fit perfectly, so your mother made you wear it anyway. Perhaps Sally’s dark side hadn’t started with her, but she would have to take responsibility for it now. There was no one left to blame, and if it were to end, it would have to be with her. Just maybe everything that was happening now was a physical mirror into her self. Her dark side wasn’t a mystical force that only existed in another galaxy. It was the bitterness and pain that came with unimaginable experience. The nightmares that resulted from a long ago tragedy. It had been calling upon her since she was ten years old. Telling her to choose. But she couldn’t. She could no more quit blaming herself for what happened than she could stop breathing. But maybe the answer to all of it was sitting right at her feet. If she could some how do the right thing, the good thing, then maybe…
The pool-playing guy was standing at the jukebox. He had just fed it six quarters. His friend left a half-hour ago. He’d been across the bar shooting pool by himself. He made his last selection and sat down at a little round table in the corner. Sally gathered up her things and walked slowly across the hardwood dance floor. He looked up at her as she approached.
“May I join you?” she said holding her armload of cutting edge technology.
“Please.” He smiled, leaning back in the chair.
“So, your friend took off”
“Yeah, yours too, I see.”
“What’s your name?”
“Luke.”
“You’re kidding.”
“No, that’s my name. Why?”
“Oh, it’s just been a Star Wars kinda day.”
He wondered what went into a “Star Wars” day, but didn’t ask.
“How about you?”
“Sally. Some of my friends call me Sal.”
She noticed that he was looking right into her eyes. It made her a little nervous.
Looking down at the table she said, “But most of them call me Sally.”
A slow song came on the jukebox. “So what is that thing really?”
Sally ignored the question, “Hey, wanna dance?”
“Um, ok.”
They walked over to the dance floor. They both nervously found the proper hand placement for people that had just met. She with her hands on his shoulders, him with his hands on her waist. They kept a safe air space between their bodies.
“So, what do you do Luke?”
“I’m a college student. I go to PCC.”
“Oh yeah? What are you studying?”
“Criminal Justice. What about you? What do you do?”
I’m a rebel spy fighting the galactic empire.
“I work at a bookstore.”
“What a coincidence. I like books.”
Sally smiled at his lame attempt to find something in common.
“Everybody likes books.”
“Oh no. That’s not true. That guy I was playing pool with never read a book in his life.”
She supposed she would have to give him that one.
“Okay. So what kind of books do you like?”
He thought for a moment, “Anything that expands the imagination. I like a story that forces me to change my perspective, see things differently.”
That sounded good to Sally.
“Who’s your favorite fiction author?”
“I read mostly non-fiction, but I guess I’d have to say Vonnegut. Or maybe George Orwell. It’d be close.”
Sally’s eyes got wide, “I loved Slaughter House Five. That was a great book.”
Little Sally Pilgrim’s come unstuck in reality.
“Yeah that was a good one. Or how about Dead Eye Dick?”
“Yeah. Dead Eye Dick.”
Sally stood there smiling. She realized the conversation could lose momentum at any moment. An uncomfortable silence would surely follow.
“So what is that thing really?”
She lost her smile, “Didn’t you ask me that already?”
“Yes. But you didn’t answer.”
“I could tell you...”
“But then you’d have to kill me, right?”
“Right.”
“Just so you realize that I’m training to be a police officer. And I’m in Kung-fu.”
“Tough guy huh?”
There were some people coming in carrying equipment. It looked like they were sitting up for kareoke. Just behind them was a man wearing black suit and tie. His cowboy boots clacked on the hardwood floor. Sally pulled Luke close against her. She laid her head on his shoulder. She was shaking.
“Look,” she whispered, “I’ll make a deal with you. You meet me in the alley with your car, and I’ll tell you what that thing is.”
Luke was trying to figure out what to think, “Well, I...”
“There’s no time. Will you do it?”
“Um, okay I guess...”
“Good. Go now.”
Sally went to the little table. She wrapped her coat around the battery backpack and wires. She walked straight to the bathroom and went inside. She couldn’t go out either of the other doors. That would mean walking right past him. There was a large window with frosted glass on the back wall. It took all her strength to slide it open. She kicked out the metal screen and climbed out. When Luke was turning the car into the alley, she was stretching in the window to reach the backpack. She lifted it out and got in the car. “Did you just climb out that window?”
“Just go. Hurry.”
He drove out to the highway and turned left.
“What’s with all the cloak and dagger stuff?”
She still was reluctant to tell him what was happening. He would think she was nuts. But, a deal was a deal. She told him about the laser. She told him about the suit guys. She told him about her plan to go stay with her cousin in Denver. He quietly listened the whole time. When she was finished he pulled into the Wal-Mart parking lot. He parked the car and turned off the ignition. He turned and leaned on the steering wheel, staring at her. She knew he didn’t believe her.
“Look, if you didn’t want to tell me the truth, you shouldn’t have made the deal.”
“I am telling the truth.”
“Okay,” he said with a sneer, “turn it on.”
“What? No. Not here.”
“Why not?”
“Well for one thing, it’d put a hole right through the roof.”
“If that thing puts a hole in the roof, I’ll eat my hat.”
Sally sent the crinkle nosed sneer back at him, “You’re not wearing a hat.”
“Come on, I’m serious, tell me the tru..”
“Okay fine. You want it. You got it.”
She clicked the switch and the red blade zipped up four and a half feet, right through the roof of Luke’s parents’ Pontiac Grand Prix.
“Jesus Christ!” His eyes were bulging and his jaw dropped.
She was wearing a big toothy grin, “Yeah, I had the very same reaction.”
She clicked the button and the blade sucked back down and disappeared.
“So you see, I’m not crazy or full of shit.”
“Okay, did I just see that? Was that real?”
“Well that hole in your roof is sure real.”
“Dammit! This is my parents’ car!”
“Sorry, but I told you...”
His stress about the melted metal was immediately gone.
“I want to go to Denver with you.”
Sally didn’t expect that, “I don’t know.”
“I’m a brown belt in Kung-fu. I’d be useful if you...you know, got into trouble.”
“But I just met you, I don’t think that it would be a good idea.”
“Come on, I’m a nice guy, I won’t try anything, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
She really didn’t like travelling very far by herself. And he did seem honest. She didn’t know why, it was just something about him.
“Fine.” She said finally, “But I’m driving.”
“Cool. I have to take my parents car back home anyway.”
“Okay. We’ll go get my car after dark so nobody sees us.”
They talked in the Wal-Mart parking lot until 8:00 p.m. There were a lot of stars out that night, and Sally’s was shining as bright as ever.
Luke pulled up to the apartment building and stopped beside a yellow Volkswagen. Sally got out carrying the black box. She put it in the back seat of the bug and fished her purse for her keys. Luke drove away slowly, making sure she had time to follow him. They were off to his house. Sally was happy that it had gone so smoothly. Nobody jumped her from the dark shadows of the trees. There were no guns poking in her face. It all went smooth as silk. She was so pleased with herself that she did not notice the black Lincoln parked a half a block away. She failed to see the two tall men sitting in the dark, waiting patiently. But they saw her. They waited until she made the corner at Ash Street before turning on the headlights. Luke parked in the driveway of a big two story Victorian house on Whittle Avenue. Sally waited on the street. His parents were on the front porch, enjoying the warm evening. “Hey dad, here’s your keys.” He tossed them up to the man on the porch swing.
“Hey mom.”
Sally couldn’t tell what they were talking about from inside the Volkswagen with its motor putting. After a few minutes he came out of the house with a duffel bag.
“What did you tell them?” she asked when he climbed in.
“Just that we were going to a concert in Denver.”
“Oh yeah? Which one?”
“Madonna.”
She put it into gear and floored it.
“Madonna?”
“It was the first thing that popped into my head.”
“Yeah well, if you ever take me to a Madonna concert I’ll kick your ass.”
“Sorry. Next time I’ll make up something cooler. Is the Cure okay?”
“That’s better.” She tried to look serious through her amusement, “Don’t let it happen again.”
They drove across town to her house.
Bobby was sitting on the steps.
“Hey Bob. I can’t really talk right now. I’m in a hurry.”
“Who’s the guy?”
Sally looked back at Luke waiting in the car, “A friend.”
Bobby followed her in the house. She started stuffing a bag full of clothes.
“You goin’ somewhere?”
“Yeah. We’re going to Denver.”
She surveyed the room, hoping she wasn’t forgetting anything.
“Whatcha doin’ there?”
She didn’t have the time or motivation to explain.
“We’re uh, goin to a...” She looked out the window and smiled, “Madonna concert.”
“You friggin’ hate Madonna.”
“I know. I gotta go. Lock the door for me, okay?”
The screen door slammed shut and Bobby was left standing alone in her living room. He watched as they drove away. He saw the Lincoln a few seconds later. The driver looked over at him as it passed by. He went to her fridge, took out a Pepsi, and sat down to watch TV.
Sally sat in her room playing with her Barbie dolls. There was a light knock and then the door opened. It was her mom. She went in and closed the door behind her.
Sitting on the bed next to Sally she said, “You doin’ okay, honey?”
“Sure, I guess.”
“Your dad’s home. It might be a good idea if you stay up here, you know, out of his way.”
Her left eye was still dark purple from the last time he hit her. She didn’t think that he would hit Sally, but she wasn’t sure about anything anymore. Sally held Ken up next to Barbie.
“Why is daddy so mad all the time?”
Her mom gave her a big hug, “I don’t know sweetie...I don’t know.”
They could hear him clanking bottles in the kitchen.
“I guess he’s still upset about your uncle Al.”
“But that was a long time ago.”
“I know. Almost a year, but sometimes the hurt lasts a long time. Him and your uncle were real close.” Sally lay back on the bed. Her mom stood up.
“Mommy, will he always be like that?”
“No sweetie. I’m sure he’ll get better real soon.” She covered her mouth and tried not to cry.
“I’ll bring you up some sandwiches and chips in a little while.”
“Okay, Mommy.”
The yelling began almost the instant she closed the door. Sally sat staring out the window, down at the street. She thought about running away, but she couldn’t think of one place she could go. Without Uncle Al around, all of their relatives lived out of town. And she certainly couldn’t just show up at a friend’s house. Their parents would call her parents. Her dad would be furious. I’m too young to be a prostitute and too old to get adopted. She’d obviously seen too many after school specials. If she could just keep him from getting drunk one day. Maybe he’d see how much he loved them. He might see how much he was hurting Sally and her mom. That’s it. I have to find a way to make him not drink. Little Sally thought hard. How could she keep him sober? Well if he doesn’t have any beer he can’t drink. All she had to do was get rid of his alcohol. It seemed so simple to her. But she would have to be very careful. If she got caught she would be in for it big time. It was most definitely a job for a Jedi. A rebel spy with the force as her ally. She dug through her closet. She found her black cat costume she had worn last Halloween. She got the scissors out of the drawer, and cut off the tail. The Star Wars sheet off her bed would serve well as a cape. A pair of blue snow gloves topped off the uniform. She was now a full-fledged Jedi knight. She cracked open the bedroom door and scanned the hallway. All was quiet. Footsteps could be heard downstairs in the kitchen. Ever so carefully she snuck out to the top of the steps. Looking down she saw her dad watching television. Her mom was not in sight.
The emperor looks busy. I’m proceeding to the lower level.
Her foot was placed on the top step, making a faint creak sound. Slowly she eased each foot onto the next step down, quickly looking to see if anyone heard. She went completely unnoticed. The force was surely with her. Her Jedi cape momentarily got caught on a splinter of wood. When she tugged, the jagged piece came off the railing with a snap. Her father changed positions on the couch, but did not look back. Whew! That was a close one. Sally tiptoed around the back of the couch and hid behind the open closet door. Her mother was in the laundry room folding towels.
This is my chance.
She snuck into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. A twelve pack of Miller sat on the top shelf. There was also a large bottle of Jack Daniel’s sitting on the counter by the sink. She carefully took off her gloves and quietly lifted out the beer and set it on the floor. She looked toward the living room nervously. No one was coming. Quickly she opened each bottle. They were twist offs, and hurt her fingers. She wrapped the top with a wash cloth and continued. When all the bottles were open, she poured each one’s contents into the sink. Carefully placing them back into the cardboard case, they only clanked together once. Now for the big one. She opened the Jack Daniel’s and poured it out. Sally put all the empty containers on the back porch, under some laundry.
Mission accomplished.
She was so anxious to get back to her room that she didn’t realize she had left her blue snow gloves on the counter by the sink. Sally made her way back to the closet door. Her mother walked across the living room and into the kitchen. She saw the gloves lying by the sink. There was a small puddle of beer on the counter. She picked them up and went to the refrigerator. When she opened it she saw that the twelve pack was gone.
“Oh my God,” she whispered under her breath, covering her mouth.
She picked up the gloves and wiped off the counter. The gloves were put away in the top of the closet. When she shut the door, there was Sally frozen behind it.
She glanced back and then whispered, “Oh Sally, what have you done?”
Sally hung her head and didn’t say a word.
“Go up to your room Sally.” She looked terrified. “Go now.”
The little Jedi padded up the stairs and into her bedroom. After a few minutes there was a lot of yelling, and then a big crash. Sally was crying. When she ran down the steps and into the kitchen. Her father had her mother pinned up against the far wall.
Sally screamed, “Stop it! Stop it!”
He ignored her, “What did you do with it?”
He slapped her mother across the face. Sally’s tears dripped onto the floor.
“Let her go Daddy! I did it! Not her!”
He turned and stomped over to her. The back of his hand was hard against the side of her head. Sally flew across the kitchen into the table. The electric cord on the toaster jerked through the air when her mother hit him with it. There was a loud clunk and a spring noise when it smacked the floor. He turned around. He stared at her with those bloodshot eyes, and then down at Sally. She was still screaming, holding her head. And then he went and got his coat and left. That was the very last time they ever saw him. He didn’t need to come back for anything. The twelve-gauge was already in the trunk of the car. He spent the last hour of his life driving through three long tunnels and sitting under an elm tree. Sally’s mother got the phone call at twelve fifteen p.m. Sally got the news the next morning.
copyright ©2002 Brian Holtz
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