GOTTA HAND IT TO YOU
Gotta hand it to you.
Fayth [email protected]
Disclaimer- I own nothing, not even these shoes, at least not yet.
CERT- U.
Cordelia
ARGHH this is like the third night I haven't been able to sleep without thinking about *him*, I thought Angel had issues! The him I'm referring to is Lindsey Mc-one handed- Donald. The damn bane of my nights, my days, my waking moments. Urgh.
Ok let me give it to ya straight I am obsessed with the guy.
He walked into my life all Armani suits and weary smiles, the day he came to ask Angel to help him save those kids lives and he left me all broken and hospitalised, suffering from visions so severe even now I shake at the thought.
I hate him, I do I do its become my mantra� so why can't I get him outta my head?
He still finds ways to crop up in my life, Angel cut off his hand, because of me, I really shouldn't feel guilty about that but I do. He sang like an angel, losing that arm was a crime to someone who could bring me to my knees with one note. I know he regained it, but I still feel�I wonder if he blames me.
Except that he has probably never noticed me.
Lindsey
"Shut up Lilah and get the Hell out" that woman bugs me to hell and back, first she tries to have me killed and now shes trying to bed me? Even if she wasn't the most vile creature in all existence I couldn't sleep with her. My mind is fixated on the love of my life, I imagine being in bed with her running my hand through her short brown hair� dammit, there I go again, thinking about Cordelia. Darla who?
I've tried so hard not to go there. The woman thinks I'm evil, she said so herself.
"Lindsey have you forgotten we have a meeting in five minutes?" Asks Lilah probably not for the first time. I'm getting caught up in my daydreams for the seer again.
"I'll be there in a minute." I manage. How can I forget Cordelia? The first time I saw her she was typing or something she was wearing a huge smile as I opened the door to the office, her grin widened as she saw me and then the twinkle in her eye faded. I have done so many evil things at Wolfram and Hart but never have I felt so bad as when I killed the brightest spark in her smile.
"Can we help you?" Her voice like silk was so cold I was surprised I didn't get frost bite. We had detailed files on all of Angel's associates. The information ran through my head, Cordelia Chase, 19 Angels seer, sent to guide him, what I wouldn't give for a little of that guidance! Mind out of the gutter Lindsey! She was "the biggest bitch in Sunnydale history" direct quote from a source. As her glare hardened I could believe it. Although I gotta hand it to her she carries it well.
"Lindsey???" Lilah was getting pissed. I snatched my jacket off the back of my chair and strode out of my office, Stop thinking about Cordelia she probably doesn't remember you anyway.
Cordelia
Angel's mad, he's trying not to show it but I can tell I can always tell. Trouble is I don't know why this time.
"What?" I say
"Did you even hear me?" He asks "I've been speaking for like ten minutes."
"And it didn't occur to you that I wasn't listening, thanks for noticing Angel" A classic Chase turn his anger on himself. He stops for a minute looking quite sheepish. Yep I've done it again, I amaze myself sometimes.
"What is it?" I can smile now I have the upper hand.
"What was making you spacey, you've been elsewhere for days." He looks concerned
"Well actually Angel I've been plagued by sexual thoughts about Lindsey McDonald for the past few days, very very naughty thoughts, some quite vivid." Actually I say nothing just smile as my mind reverts to unbuttoning Lindsey's jacket and pulling him close.
"Cordelia, Cordelia?" Angel looks scared. I wake up and reassure him that the last vision headache left me a little shaken, it was nothing major. He feels guilty but leaves me alone to brood. Its funny he brooded and I hated it and now here I am brood girl.
I think about him singing. I wish I could recall all the lyrics something about being free as a bird. I want to stop thinking about him. I miss him we have never spoken more tan two words but I miss him, I actually found myself walking by his office building, that's how stupid this is getting. I gotta hand it to him he really knows how to get inside a girls mind. Maybe someone can tell me why I am getting this obsessed before Angel finds out and tries to kill someone. I have no illusions, if Angel found out I was lusting after Lindsey McDonald, he would pop a fuse or go all Grrr.
Actually maybe there is someone who can help me�
Lindsey
As I sat in the boardroom listening to another boring meeting of all department heads a few snatched lyrics ran through my head "sky's gonna open, people gonna beg and crawl I'm as free as a bird". I have no idea where they came from, I was sitting there doodling on my notebook when they appeared. I look down at my book and almost smile Cordelia's name is written over and over, like my new hand is possessed. There's a drawing of her smile too, not bad if I do say so myself. Suddenly I'm bored of this crap, I want to go out and sing my heart out, sing about her and how she'll never notice me. Sing about soaring. The meeting is over and I rush out without having said a word, I know the junior partners are watching me but I really don't care.
Cordelia
Ok if someone had told me two years ago that one of my favourite places would be a karoke bar, I would have laughed that person out of Sunnydale. If they had said a demon karoke bar I would have had them committed. But that was before LA, before Angel and definitely before Caritas. This bar is now my fave place, I wouldn't sing unless I was drunk of course but just going there is nice, soothing and niot just because of Lorne.
"Hey Sweetcheeks and to what do we owe the privilege?" Lorne comes over and hands me a glass of my favourite drink Strawberry daiquiri, with a little umbrella.
"Hey, just checking it out on my night off."
"Not going to grace us with a tune? You have a very interesting aura tonight."
"Not a chance." I smile, we have this by play every time, its like a part of the ambience. But I really don't like to sing in public not after my talent show debut. Tonite is a little different, there is something in the air I can feel it simmering like tonight is special.
"you feel that too can you" Lorne asks "stick around things are getting interesting.
I put my head down as Lorne heads to the stage to announce the next act, this place is so crowded that I don't hear what's going on. Until the music starts:
We call them cool
Those hearts that have no scars to show
The ones that never do let go
And risk the tables being turned
Cordelia
My head snapped up as the first verse faded so hard i though i'd snap my neck. oh my God it was him, either that or my hallucinations just hit the big time
We call them fools
Who have to dance within the flame
Who chance the sorrow and the shame
That always comes with getting burned
But you've got to be tough when consumed by desire
'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire
Lorne
Very interesting, oh look Lindsey hit's the Chorus, the cutie Lawyer boy has some serious feelings towards Angel pie's seer. From her emissionsit lookslike they are reciprocated and the strange feeling all night? Coming from that couple, the PTB interfering again. Gotta hand it to the PTB good choice although Angelcakes is gonna go ape. Oh what a luscious little dillemma. do i need to get them together?
We call them strong
Those who can face this world alone
Who seem to get by on their own
Those who will never take the fall
Lindsey
i can feel her, she's here, oh God there she is! does she know i'm singing for her, can she tell
We call them weak
Who are unable to resist
The slightest chance love might exist
And for that forsake it all
Cordelia
He's singing for me. He has to be, he just looked at me, just for me. The lyrics are so true, am i gonna say soemthing or let Angel scare me away from going after what i want. i am Cordelia Chase, surely i am scared of no one..
They're so hell-bent on living, walking a wire
Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire
Lindsey
Is she closing her eyes for me? She seems lost in the Music ;what i wouldn't give to touch her, i love her. i know i do. He thought only of her as his voice swept the last verses.
There's this love that is burning
Deep in my soul
Constantly yearning to get out of control
Wanting to fly higher and higher
I can't abide
Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
If you're standing outside the fire
Lindsey
I can hear the crowd applauding, it's startled her out of her daydream, shall i say soemthing...do i dare go over?
i think Lorne just said soemthing to me, Oh her eyes are so clear.
Cordelia
Oh God he's coming over, what do i do, what do i say? he's stopping, his eyes are so blue. That smile could devastate countries.
Lindsey.
What do i say to the one that's meant for me? what do i say to my soulmate?
"Hey".