LETTERS FROM THE UNDEAD
Letters from the undead.
Author- Fayth
[email protected]
Pairing- Mostly W/S
Summary- Title is pretty self explanatory
Disclaimer- Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy and that Cute Grr arrgh guy are the real owners, I borrow.
Distribution- Redssoulmates, Breathe, Rapture, liveforme, Bite Me� please, Hellmouth Caf�, Eternal�literally. Anyone else just ask.
Notes- Takes place after Lovers Walk.
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Willow frowned as she stared at the envelope in her hands, who would be writing to her? She didn�t know anyone outside Sunnydale except�she smiled thinking the mystery solved, it was obviously her parents. They had left just a few weeks ago, although this was the first time they would have written� ever.
She wondered if they would be surprised at the woman she had grown into. After that whole scary debacle with Spike, she had decided that it was ridiculous to keep both Oz and Xander hanging, so whilst in the basement of the factory she had told Xander that it would never work between them. Then when Oz and Cordy turned up they left it at that, still best friends with a little unresolved tension but nothing that couldn�t be fixed in time. She�d broken up with Oz a few days later. He�d been surprised to say the least but she knew that it wasn�t love; she�d seen what love was like, thanks to Spike and she wanted that.
After Oz had driven her home that night she�d had a surprise visitor. She�d been sitting on the porch thinking when he�d heard a car pull up. It was a black Desoto, a very familiar car to her. An arrogant, bleached blonde and, above all, sober vampire jumped out and she raced for the house only to halt at his words.
�Wait Red!�
She paused and turned to him �What, do you still want me to do the spell?�
�Nah.� He waved his hand �Got a better idea.�
�Ok.� She gave a hesitant smile �What are you doing?�
�I saw you out here on my way out of town and I thought I�d stop and say thanks.�
Her eyes wide with surprise �Why?�
�You were nice, even when I threatened you.� He shrugged a shoulder �Figured you were a decent chit.�
�Well,� she didn�t know what to say to that �Uh your wel-� ok telling a Vampire he was welcome when standing in the doorway probably wasn�t going to win her any smart points. �No problem.�
He grinned as if he knew what she was going to say �Look love, I just wanted to give you a bit of advice okay? Tit for tat and all that. I could smell the wolf boy on you and the drooling moron; I guess you got your own love problems. Don�t string them along, it ain�t fair on you, not a decent bird like you, you�ll be eaten up by the guilt. Choose one and make it stick. If Wolfie ain�t giving you what you need ditch him, don�t go playing around. Oh and the moron seems to chase whatever ain�t available you don�t need that.�
�Thank you.� Willow was honestly touched by his advice �You already helped me.� She blurted out
�How�s that?� he raised an eyebrow and leaned against the car door
�You and Drusilla? That�s love, I want that. I broke up with Xander and I�m gonna do the same to Oz. I wouldn�t travel halfway across the world to get him back or do a spell; I don�t love him like that.�
Spike just nodded as if confirming what he already suspected. �I knew you were the smart one.�
�Ok, thanks.� They were quiet for a second before Spike tossed another grin at her
�Gotta go, gotta win Dru back.�
�How?� Willow asked genuinely interested
�I�m going to torture her until she loves me again.�
�Let me know how that turns out for you.� Willow smiled at his enthusiasm and waved as he got into the car. �Bye.�
�Night Red.�
Willow smiled thinking back to that night, a very surreal might in all but one that had made her stand up and decide once and for all what she wanted. She would always appreciate that. Still smiling she opened the letter
Red.
You told me to let you know how it turned out for me. Well I�ve been travelling for while now but I�ve not reached Brazil yet, hell I�m not even in Mexico yet. I am holed up in this crappy hotel room just inside Texas waiting for night because the suns rays aren�t exactly vamp friendly., neither are the damn cowboys! Pity that, I�d like to see the daylight. I�d especially like to see my Princess in the day, a vision she�d be. Actually a pile of dust, but you get my drift. Just wondered how that thing with the Wolf boy went, hope you didn�t let him hurt you. That comfort you did for me when I was hurting, you shouldn�t waste it on him. Get someone who appreciates you. Suns almost down, so I�m going. Should be stopping in a few days at El Paso in another hotel, the Days Inn- some kind of Irony in there I think. Anyhow the address is 5035 South Desert Boulevard El Paso, Texas 79932.
Spike.
Willow�s jaw dropped, Spike was writing to her? As in actually making contact and conversation? Plus he�d told her where he was heading; did that mean that he expected a response?
Throwing the rest of the mail on the table she made her way upstairs still clutching his letter in her hands.
Resolving not to think about it she put it on her table and got dressed.
She thought about the letter as she got ready for class.
She thought about it as she chatted with Buffy and tried to speak to Xander, who was still annoyed about the breaking up even though he knew it was for the best.
She thought about it as Cordelia tried to talk her into going shopping with her.
She thought about it as Giles lectured them on the proper use of the dewy decimal system.
She thought about it as Snyder made her tutor another jock in history.
She thought about it as she patrolled with Buffy and watched Oz play at the Bronze- just because they weren�t dating didn�t mean that they didn�t need support.
She thought about it as she lay on her bed doing her homework, her eyes casting over to where it stood on the bedside table. She finally threw her calculus book to the floor in disgust and grabbed a piece of paper and pen.
Dear Spike
Hey, how are you? It�s me. I was surprised to get your letter but I�m glad you are at least feeling more positive about things. I have never been to Texas or Mexico, what�s it like there? Is everything really sandy? I imagine that it�s always bright and Sunny there, although that�s probably not a good thing for you�or me I tend to burn easy; although possibly not as easy as you. I broke up with Oz and Xander, Xander still won�t talk to me properly but he does have Cordelia to put up with too so I can forgive that even though it stings a bit, I mean we have known each other since we were in footy pyjama�s and we were both members of the we-hate-Cordelia club. Oz wasn�t happy about it and nearly went Wolf on me but it worked out in the end. I think he�s dating Amy Madison now, she�s a witch too. Much better than me because her mom was a Wicca- an insane Wicca that we had to banish but still it�s in the blood, the Wicca not the insanity.
I hope.
Um it�s nearly Christmas, not that I celebrate it, being all Jewish and stuff but it�s still a pretty time of year. You�ll probably be having Christmas in South America. I bet it will be pretty and I�m gonna shut up now. Hope you have a good time.
Willow Rosenberg- A.K.A. Red.
P.S- A Vampire staying in the Days Inn- very funny!
She sealed the letter and stuck a stamp on it, figuring that at least she had written it there was no need to send it. She had just wondered what she would write if she *did* reply. It was no big, she didn�t have to send in fact it was probably not a good idea, Buffy would flip. Resolving not to send it she turned back to her calculus homework. She had a lot to do; besides the post wasn�t collected until 7 am.
Letter 2.
Red
It was great to get to the Days Inn and find that letter waiting for me; it didn�t half make me laugh. You got a great sense of humour. Plus it gave me something to do for the day other than watch daytime soaps- in Mexican!!! Now I can speak several demon and human languages but I don�t reckon I�ll ever get Mexican but it�s close to Spanish so I can make myself understood. That or punch �em till I get what I want. Stupid sods anyway. Glad it all worked out for ya, you didn�t need the damn Mutt anyway- probably give you fleas. The stupid kid is blind if he was in this we-hate-Cordelia club and now he�s dating her- once a stuck up bitch always a stuck up bitch. My advice is to ignore him and soon he�ll see what he�s missing. Actually I�d probably just rip his throat out but I guess that might not work for you. Met up with a Fyarl demon the other day he had some news about snow in California? Sounds neat, any idea how that happened? Don�t knock yourself and your witchy powers, it takes a while to get them up and running so it�s ok if it takes a while, if you got the gift it�ll come- just keep practising. On that note can you be both Jewish and Wicca? And what does that do for celebrating Christmas? I don�t usually do much for Christmas, me and Dru used to stay up and have an all night Buffet of drunken carol singers and fat gits who come home late from costume parties drunk and full of mince pies. It was a riot. Not much point on my own. I might go to a party later though. My next stop is the Hotel Palacio de Sol. In Av. Independencia #116, Chihuahua, Mexico 3100. I can�t believe I�m staying in a place named after an annoying little dog.
Spike.
Willow hid a grin as she put the letter back in her notebook and continued to listen to Mr Blake moan about single celled organisms and the origin of life. She hadn�t expected the letter, having thought that replying to Spike would have put an end to whatever it was but the post had arrived just as she�d been leaving this morning addressed to Red. She was going to wait until a free to read it but Mr Blake had been droning on so long. Xander was practically asleep on the table and even Buffy�s eyes were drooping. Everyone was preoccupied with looking awake if not actually being so. So Willow took the letter out and had a read, he was sweet and he made her laugh. She�d nearly laughed aloud at the flea�s part. She cast her eyes over to where Oz sat with Amy holding hands talking softly to each other and smiled again. The bell rang and she made her way to the library. Giles had been talking about a demon to Buffy so Willow slipped out her notepad and started writing.
Hey Spike.
I can just imagine you sitting in a motel room swearing at the T.V at a Mexican soap opera. It�s a funny image. I have started to learn Latin and Gaelic because most of the prophecies we deal with are in those two languages, I�d love to learn more like Giles, he knows loads of languages both archaic and demonic. I laughed about what you said about Oz and fleas; he is officially dating Amy now, the witch? They are happy so that�s cool. I took your advice and ignored Xander for a few days, it worked like a charm he came over and we talked it all out and now we are back to being best friends which annoys Cordelia- which is great! I get my best friend back and I get to annoy Cordy! Yeah it did snow in Sunnydale. Apparently the First evil wanted Angelus back or for him to kill Buffy so they did some mojo to get him to try to kill himself; he waited for the sun but the Powers made it snow so no sun, therefore no poof! It was nice to see the snow, a first for me. I never thought about the whole Jewish/Wicca thing and now I�m confused! Thanks for that. The new Slayer isn�t too happy about Angel still being around but never mind, and there�s a new girl at school who gives me the creeps her name is Anya. She�s part of the Cordelia circle and seems too nice for them, but she just doesn�t seem to *fit*, maybe I�m just being paranoid living on the Hellmouth. So you�re going to a costume party, what as? The last time I got all dressed up was for Culture day in an authentic Eskimo (Inuit) costume, I did research for it and everything. But everyone else was dressed in sexy stuff, outclassed again!
Have fun in Mexico.
Willow
P.S you do know that Hotel Palacio de Sol means Palace of the sun� right? Are you doing this on purpose?
�Whatcha doing Wills?� Buffy bounced over as Willow finished her letter and slipped it into her notebook.
�Just research for class.� Willow lied with feelings of guilt for lying to her best friend in the world.
�We Bronzing tonight?� Buffy asked and then groaned as if remembering �After I patrol?�
�Sure thing.� Willow slipped her notepad into her bag; she could pick up some stamps and post the letter tomorrow.
Letter 3
It had been two weeks since she�d heard from Spike, maybe he hadn�t got her letter, or he had and he no longer wanted to speak to her. Great, she even scared guys away by mail. Her parents had finally come home a week ago, they were full of new theories on child rearing- like they�d know what to do with a real child. So Willow had spent most of this week holed up in her room, especially after the terrible week she had had. She looked down to the room�s latest addition and grimaced.
There was a knock at the door and Willow cautiously called out to enter. It was her mother.
�Willow?� Sheila looked a little more uneasy than usual at talking to her daughter
�Yeah Mom?�
�This letter just arrived addressed to a Red?�
Willow grinned �That�s me!� she jumped up and grabbed the letter �He wrote back!�
�Who did?� her mother asked haughtily �Addressing it to Red, what type of person does that?�
Having had enough of her mothers� attitude these past few days, she said the thing she knew would get rid of her mother �The Prince of Night with his black naughty evil.�
Sheila flushed and then affected a disinterested air that Willow had seen Joyce do when she was repressing
�Really Willow. Your Father and I are leaving on a lecture tour tomorrow. We are going to Washington then on somewhere else. I�ve written the itinerary down in case you need to contact us.� She smiled what she felt was a motherly smile and kissed her daughter on the head �Goodnight.�
�Yeah bye.� Willow replied sadly and flopped down onto the bed. So her parents were off again? Oh well considering this week it was probably for the best. She opened the letter.
Red
It�s taken me a while to reply but I haven�t forgotten ya. I was working my way through Mexico, actually I was drinking my way through Mexico but the results were the same. I�m in Guatemala, staying in this truly dismal hovel that a fungus demon would shudder to sleep in and I�m too hung over to do anything than hang off the bed (for �bed� read �mattress that has some truly suspicious stains on�) and write, if the writing is kind of slanted or difficult to read its due to too much tequila. The next place I�ll be staying at is in Nicaragua; I decide to choose a better named place so I�m staying in the Legends Hotel after all Vampires is but a legend right? The address is below. There was something I wanted to yell at you for but I�m damned if I can remember what it is and your last letter is in my duster which is all the way over there and I cant go get it, coz that would mean getting up and I don�t want to do that. Actually I don�t think I can unless I want to be sick. Not sure if you want to hear about that pet. So how are you then? All right with my favourite Witch? If that girl is giving you the creeps avoid her, always trust your instincts. They keep you alive�or less dead in my case. The new Slayer doesn�t like Angelus? Good at least one of them has brains. I think I remember her, the one who dressed like a- wait I remember what it was I wanted to yell at you for. You were berate disparag putting yourself down I remember what you look like pet. Gorgeous fiery hair that smelled fantastic and was so damn soft and beautiful pale skin that was flawless just begging for my bite. You were wearing a fuzzy number with lilac underneath and I could see your curves. You are beautiful, love. I was drunk (still am) and I still recall it all, I should have turned you and kept you and- it�s possible I�m creeping you out now. So I�ll stop my drunken rambling and just say don�t put yourself down love, you are a million times better than all of those losers in Sunnydale.
Spike
Any chance you could send me a hangover cure?
Willow smiled a watery smile at Spike�s last words, he thought she was beautiful and he wished he had turned her. That was the Vampire equivalent of �if I wasn�t married� and it was just what she needed, that and a rant.
Dear Spike
You want to know how I am. Really honestly and truly? This has been the worst week of my life. First my parents drop by unannounced and tell me that they were disappointed with my last test results (I got all A*�s and one A-, because the night before we were up all night battling evil), then Buffy�s mom goes on patrol with her and finds some dead kids with Wicca symbols drawn on them . She gets the whole town riled up and on a crusade to put a stop to all supernatural activities. All the occult books get taken out of the library and then the lockers at school got broken into and stuff was confiscated I was in serious trouble because of the spell ingredients in there. My mom grounds me only to release me later and try to burn me at the stake FOR REAL!!! Buffy and Amy too. Only Amy turned herself into a rat to escape, then Giles did some mumbo jumbo and we found that the kids were actually the original Hansel and Gretal fashioned by a demon and were leading the parents to do this. Buffy killed the demon and we were released but I still have nightmares about the fire burning my legs. My mom is repressing and has gone back to refusing to talk to me or hang out with me at all, they have just come in to tell me that they are leaving on another lecture tour and probably wont be back until AFTER I graduate, Buffy is hanging out with Faith more than me and I can�t turn Amy back into a human. Sometimes I don�t think I�m going to survive high school. Xander and Cordelia are still dating, Angel is doing the broody thing but him and Buffy are getting along better, so now when we go out Buffy and Angel are together and so are Xander and Cordy so I�m the fifth wheel. All in all my life sucks right now. Your letter is the first time I have smiled in days. So thanks for that Spike. Nice to know that you are sticking with the ironic named hotels. Very funny. Plus thanks for the pep talk I needed that.
Willow
P.S find a magic shop and buy some Aspric roots and mix it with two litres of Linac water and drink quickly, it smells and it�ll sting but no more hangover!
Willow put the cap back on her pen and wondered what Spike would say when he saw her rant. But it made her feel better so she could handle it.
This week truly had been the worst week she could remember in her life. She briefly considered telling him about Angel and his on again off again Buffy thing but she knew Spike had Angel issues so she didn�t. But it was nice to have someone to talk to even if he was evil.
Letters 4
Willow sat on her bed still shaking over the events of the past few days, actually the past weeks. All she needed was a few days to sleep, without dreaming and she�d be fine. It had been bad and what�s more she had a major test coming up. The only thing that made her even think about getting out of bed had been the knock of the postman an hour ago, she�d leapt out of bed in her pyjama�s and run down to pick it up and there it was; A letter from Spike. She sat back against the headboard and turned the letter over in her hands eagerly anticipating his words, savouring the moment. Then she couldn�t wait anymore and opened it.
Dear Red.
I�m staying here for a few more days, if you want me to come back and deal with all those stupid sods that upset you- just say the word and I�ll come back for you. No one messes with MY witch and gets away with it. First we�ll drain your parents and just before they die we can tie them to stakes and set them on fire see how they like it, then we�ll kick that moron�s arse and hang the damn cheerleader by her pom poms and gut both Slayers leaving them to die slowly over the nearest graveyard so that the Vamps can have a free for all.
Then I�ll take you and show you the world, Paris, Venice, London, Mexico. We could cut a swath through Europe leaving a bloody trail in our wake. We can even take the rat�who knows it might make a nice snack.
Sorry that life is so bad for you right now pet, I can�t even tell you it get better coz I don�t believe it myself, now unlife? That�s better. Speaking of life, when is your birthday pet?
I�ll be moving on in a few days if I haven�t heard from you; I�ll be staying in Panama. And I swear I�m not doing this on purpose in the Hotel Costa del sol. Another Sun place, maybe I do have a death wish! Oh well let me know if I need to come back Red.
Spike
P.S the hangover cure was fantastic thanks!
Willow folded up the letter and sat on her chair in the Sunnydale library thinking deeply. Spike was willing to postpone his search for Drusilla and come back jut to help her out? Somehow that made her feel much better than anything her friends had done for her in a long while, it was sweet and totally out of character. She grinned, she had just thought of one of the most feared Vampires in history as Sweet! She looked around, Buffy was out with Faith- again and she was left to do some research with only the new Watcher for company. He was tutting over something, somehow more pompous than Giles had ever been, never mind that he was cute. He disapproved of the way things were done here, the fact that the Slayer had people to help her out and that they knew about her secret identity; although that hadn�t stopped him utilising them in his schemes. At least he knew his way around the computer.
She turned to her laptop and began typing out a reply to Spike.
Hey Spike.
Thanks for the offer but I wouldn�t want you to come all the way back here for nothing. The last few weeks have been just as bad but I think I�m getting a handle on it now. I think it was the image of what you said you�ll do to them that cheered me up the most, no one has ever offered to kill people for me before, I�m flattered- does that make me a bad person? I like the idea of seeing the world, I have always wanted to travel, see places but when my parents go away the last thing they want is to drag me along with them. I think they think that I am boring. So you want to know what�s happening in Sunnydale.
First of all there was this test that the Watchers council gives Slayers on their 18th birthday (Oh my birthday is the 22nd of July, why�d you ask?) where their powers are taken away from them, unbeknownst to them, and they are trapped in a room with a vampire and have to make it out alive. Only the Vampire Buffy got stuck with was insane and he escaped and went after Buffy�s mom. Buffy eventually killed him but she was so mad at Giles for draining her power and then the Council fired Giles for telling her about the test. He was fired! Like really fired so now Giles is an ex-watcher! Then there was a band of demons that succeeded in briefly opening the Hellmouth and we had to close it and fight some of the creatures. God Spike I have never been so scared, some of those creatures from the hell dimension are just indescribable, they fill you with dread and pain and they make you want to curl up and cry and wish they�d go away but they don�t and I have nightmares about them still, I wake up screaming but of course there is no one here to help me, or even comfort me and honestly I babble as much on paper as I do in person!
Anyway a few days ago Buffy�s replacement Watcher arrived and he�s such a well. I cant actually think of a word right now�ooh unless it�s that one you use to describe Angel, was it Pansy ass? Or Poofy or something like that. He�s worse than Giles was he first came here, although thankfully there is a lot less tweed, but he just takes pompousness to the limit. Get this his name is Wesley Wyndam- Price; oh I bet he got his lunch money stolen as a child. But he�s supposed to be Faith�s watcher too, which just won�t work because she�s too busy with Buffy to even notice, do I sound bitter? Because I�m not- really, I get that Buffy wants someone to share the whole Slayer thing with but it�s suddenly like I�m not good enough for her because I can�t kill someone with my bare hands.
I miss you, which sounds odd because we never really spoke and for all I know your using me to find out what�s happening in Sunnydale so you�ll know when the Slayer is weak.
Willow
P.S, YOUR witch? Says who? (grin)
Willow frowned as she finished her letter and sent it to the printer, the thought that Spike was using her to keep posted on what was happening had occurred to her once or twice, but he always asked about her and not Buffy, so maybe she was wrong. Still if she hadn�t offended him then maybe he�d set her mind to rest.
�Miss Rosenberg I was wondering exactly how many beasts Buffy has fought in her time here at Sunnydale?� Wesley walked in and Willow sighed hurriedly folding the very long letter.
�Why don�t you look in Giles� Watchers diary?� she suggested and he hesitated
�Why didn�t I think of that?� he smiled at her �Thank you Miss Rosenberg, and I � I would just like to take this opportunity to thank you for your services and skills, I�m sure I would be faltering without you.� He paused and ducked his head �Foundering even more.�
His shyness touched Willow �You�re welcome Mr Wyndam- Price; if you need any help let me know.� It had to be the first time someone had thanked her since Spike left, and now she felt bad about the nasty bits about him in the letter. Damn it.
Letters 5.
It was three weeks before Willow heard from Spike again, she had thought that she�d either annoyed him with her accusation or that she had been right and he was just using her for information. The thought saddened her, it had been nice to have such a confident but she didn�t want to give away the Slayers weak spots. She could really have used someone to talk to right about now, what with everything that was going on.
Which is why a huge smile broke out when she opened the post to find a letter with a postmark from Colombia.
Red.
First off, I�m pissed and hurt that you�d think that I was using you for information. The demon grapevine works well love. I thought you�d want to chat. I don�t care about the sodding Slayer except that she is obviously hurting you pet. I like you and dammit I miss you too, although if you ever tell anyone I said that I�ll hunt you down and torture and turn you, and if anyone ever sees this letter- I�ll just kill them and everyone you care about okay?
Secondly, your letter made me laugh like a crazy bloke; I never knew you had such a wicked sense of humour pet, I love it. It matches mine almost totally. I like the sound of the new Watcher and the way you describe him; he sounds a lot more fun than Giles. You haven�t half been having a time of it, haven�t you pet? What with the Hellmouth and then the nightmares and all. I wish I could be there for you or at least smack some sense into those friends of your to stop them being so damn oblivious. But you should tell the Slayer how you feel, you shouldn�t let things fester. Tell her exactly what you told me.
Thirdly, I�ll be staying in Columbia for a while travelling south, I looked for someplace to stay during the day and there were two real choices- The Dawn Avenida 19 hotel in Bogot� or the Sol Caribe Providencia, so �Reconciled Dawn� or �Caribbean Sun�? Either way I�m toast. I�ll take the Dawn; give me a chance to get indoors. (insert evil grin)
By the way thanks for such a nice long letter, it gave me something to read. I�ve been hanging out with some Vampire�s here but seriously I have no idea why they were turned, thick as pig shit. I tell ya and ugly as a bunch of baby cabbage dolls- no actually you remember those trolls that were around a while back? The ones that everyone went mad on? The ones with the neon hair, that�s what they remind me of.
It�s nice to have intelligent conversation, that doesn�t involve issues that died out when they did.
Finally, I�m serious about taking care of you pet, as far as I�m concerned you are MY witch, I realised your power, and I wanted you and kidnapped you first. If it hadn�t been for that daft boy you had a thing for I�d have taken you then and there and don�t forget it, just because I�ve not claimed you yet doesn�t mean that you�re not mine. You are and I protect what�s mine. I will show you the world and take you everywhere, all the places I love. In England in a little town called Leicester which has some great ruins on a hill and beautiful valley that was so dangerous to swimmers that it had to be cordoned off, and there�s a place in Nottingham that has a truly spectacular fireworks fair with a carnival and all. France has the most beautiful castle�s and there is one called the Chateau de Chambord which does this night show where they use laser lights to project images on the walls and turrets; you are really dancing among the stars and then standing in a paradise along with Adam and Eve and then Butterflies dance and Zodiac signs all swirl. It�s magical and I realise that I sound like a ponce but I want to show you all these sights Willow.
Spike.
Willow let go of a breath she didn�t realise she�d been holding and let a big smile cross her features. Spike liked her and missed her. She missed him so much and felt the same and wanted her to be his. It felt nice to be wanted by a guy, since Oz no one had really looked at her. Not that there was anyone she wanted to look but it would be nice. Well actually Devon had said hey a few times but that was because she used to be Oz�s girlfriend- right?
The words Spike used to describe what he wanted to show her had literally taken her breath away, she could imagine being in all the places she read about and imagined being there with Spike by her side holding her hand showing her them, she ached to be with him.
As for Spike�s advice about telling Buffy, maybe he was right. They needed to talk. She shouldn�t let things go on like this. A tap at her window made her look up, it was Buffy. She looked kinda sad.
�Hey.� Buffy said softly
�Hey.� Willow replied nervously, she had to do what Spike said and make things right.
�I need to talk to you.� Oh thank goodness, Buffy felt it too.
�Good.� She moved as Buffy came in and closed the door �Cause I�ve been letting things fester.� She noticed that she had left Spike�s letter on the bed and moved to hide it from her friend �And I don�t like it.� She sat down hiding the letter from Buffy�s view �I want to be fester-free.�
Buffy gave a weak smile �Yeah. Me, too.�
Willow stood up making sure the letter was nowhere to be seen �I mean, don�t get me wrong. I-I completely understand why you and Faith have been doing the bonding thing. You guys work together. You�you should get along.�
Buffy frowned �It�s a little more complicate than that.�
Willow was hurt �But, see, it�s that exact thing that-that�s just ticking me off! It�s this whole �Slayers only� attitude. I mean, since when wouldn�t I understand? You, you talk to me about *everything*. I-it�s like all of a sudden I�m not cool enough for you because I can�t kill things with my bare hands.�
To Willow�s abject horror Buffy burst into tears- no that wasn�t right, was Spike wrong? Was she bad?
�Oh! Oh, Buffy don�t cry.� She grabbed her friend and hugged her �I�m sorry. I �I was too hard on you. Sometimes I unleash. I- I don�t know my own strength. I-it�s bad, I �I-I�m bad. I�m a bad, bad, bad person.�
She peered at Buffy who gulped and then answered tearfully
�Will, I�m in trouble.�
Spike
Life keeps getting weirder here. The new Slayer- Faith? Well she was out on Patrol with Buffy and she staked a guy only he turned out to be a human. So Faith is a murderer and then she tried to pin it on Buffy by lying to Giles. Xander went to talk to her but she tried to kill him, until Angel caught her ad chained her up at his place. Wesley ordered the Council�s operatives to catch Faith and take her back to England for a disciplinary hearing so they abducted her from Angels place and beat him up but she escaped and then Buffy found her trying to leave. They fought some Vampires but Buffy got trapped and Faith stayed to help. She�s returned to us but something is off about her. I mean she lied to Giles, beat Wesley and Buffy and tried to kill Xander. Oh I don�t know why I�m trying to be all brave about this, do you remember me telling you about the opening of the Hellmouth? Well when that happened we told Xander to stay out of the way, he did and ended up sleeping with Faith. It hurts Spike and I don�t know why it hurts. I mean I broke up with him and I don�t love him anymore so why do I want to cry every time I think about it? I feel so bad, and I �hate Faith. I hate her and I�ve never hated anyone before in my life- not even Cordelia. Oh she�s so hurt by this, Xander cheated on her with Faith and she�s a mess. I don�t think anyone else knows but I feel bad for her. But Spike I really think that if Faith died I would be happy. Does that make me evil? Oh God I wish you were here to talk to. I�m going to stop obsessing about this right now.
I can�t believe I�m nearly out of high school I graduate soon! My parents won�t be there to see it but they were never there anyway, so no big. Plus I get a big check from them so that�s a bonus. But Prom before that, no date but then I wont be the only one� I hope. Oz is going but not with Amy because she�s still a rat, I think he asked Aura to go with him, he�s big on the groupies now- did I say thank you for making me break up with him? If not then THANK YOU. Buffy is hoping Angel will take her. Xander is trying to make it up with Cordelia but I think she has the hots for the new Watcher and let me tell you how many ways that is wrong! Besides if Xander doesn�t make up with Cordelia, that new girl Anya likes him, you know the one that gave me the creeps? And oh then there�s Faith. Yeah let�s not go there.
Thanks for your letter, it made me feel so good to know that there is someone out there who cares about me and wants me with them, I would love to see al the sights that you described but only if you�re there with me, I wouldn�t feel the Magic unless you were there. You don�t sound like a ponce because well, for one I don�t know what that is and for two it sounds great. I�m glad that we share the same sense of humour, it�s important for friends to share some things. Buffy and Xander don�t get my sense of humour; they think I�m being serious. They always expect me to be the sweet one when occasionally I can be callous and strange, like I like to take marshmallows on patrol so we can toast them over the demon�s when we burn their corpses. They look at me horrified. I was actually flattered that you called my YOUR witch, but for the sake of feminism I felt I must protest, token protest over so thank you- I just hope Ms Pankhurst isn�t too mad at me. I like how you keep finding �themed� hotels, what are you going to do now you are in Brazil, do you have any idea on how to find Drusilla? I know that this is long but you did ay you liked that, plus yours was a great long letter.
Talk to you soon
Willow
Letters 6
Willow tapped her fingers on the desk and tried to ignore the fearful looks that Percy was giving her. It made her want to laugh that the biggest jerk and jock in the school feared her�well not actually her but the demon version of her- oh wouldn�t Spike get a kick out of that. She was anxiously waiting for his next letter and in the meantime she was still tutoring Percy in History.
�That�s enough.� She said with a smile as he jumped a mile in the air.
�S-sure.� He said and then delved into his bag and handed her a Hershey�s bar.
�You don�t have to keep giving me presents you know.� Willow said with a soft smile
Percy shrugged �You�re helping me and all.�
Willow just grinned and gathered her stuff and left the class room. Things were good these last few days, well as good as they could be knowing that� well it didn�t do to dwell on what she couldn�t change.
She sighed as she made her way home, her parents still away and Buffy was spending all her time training just in case Faith decided to make good on her threats to kill them all. She wished she could talk to Spike but there hadn�t been a letter� as she opened the door her foot kicked the pile of mail that arrived after she had left for school and there in amongst the bills and junk was a tattered white envelope with the words RED scrawled in red ink.
Willow gave a little squeal and picked it up tearing off the envelope.
Dear Red
I haven�t replied in a while because I have been searching, sorry about that. First up when you wrote I was in Columbia which is not Brazil, what do they teach you in school pet? Ok now I am actually in Brazil, looking for Dru. I have heard several reports of an insane Vampire, but to be honest that isn�t exactly news. Most Vampires are nuts� present company, that�s me, included. You have to be to survive eternity, any way I will keep looking. This Faith chick sounds as crazy as any Vamp and you be sure to stay far away from her, I don�t want you hurt at all love. As much as it pains me, and it does, keep close to Slutty and my Sire, they�ll take care of you until I can get back. Although not too close to my sire. Of course it hurts that she slept with Harris, you may not be in love with him anymore but you were, and love never really fades, especially when it has been nurtured for that long. I should know me and Dru are a case in bleeding point. I love her I know I do, I think, but sometimes I wonder why, anyway it still kills me that she�d up and off with another. You loved that moron for 18 years or so there is bound to be feelings still there and you are not a bad person for hating her. It�s natural, she taken what you always wanted and she�s trying to destroy what you have. I�ll eviscerate her for you when I get back, give you her intestines on a silver platter. With garnish.
What�s this Prom thing? Can�t say I heard of it In England, I�m guessing it�s a big dance where you get your ya-ya�s out for graduating? You don�t need a date, go alone and sod �em all, you�ll be the best one of the lot anyway.
Now when I read that bit in your letter about you toasting marshmallows over corpses I was right proud. That�s my girl! Screw feminism, you belong to me! My girl, beside I�m sure feminism was invented by thin wimpy women who were scared of real men. I have plenty of respect for today�s women, in my day they were all pretty useless, just there for decoration, now you gals do all sorts. But don�t fool yourselves into thinking that you don�t need men, coz you do. That�s the way it should be, just as we need you. Do I have ways of finding Dru? Yeah but they mostly involve gore and terror, a way of furthering my name. I heard a few rumours about a chaos demon and his girl so at least I have somewhere to start. And I will do it. I�ll make her love me. Make her crawl. Teach her to walk out on me. The only thing is pet I was enjoying the singleness I was having these past few months, don�t mean I don�t want her back, just saying it was nice, is all. Anyhow I gotta go, got an insane Vamp to find and torture. Wish me luck.
Spike
P.S Ponce�ask the Watcher.
Willow grinned as she put down the letter on her dresser and pulled out her new stationary to write back to him.
Hey Spike
I was waiting for your letter, was beginning to think you didn�t want to talk to me anymore. But I was really pleased to get your letter this morning. Its been another month on the Hellmouth and a sucky one at that, honestly when am I ever going to just be able to hang out an do things that a normal girl would do, shop (although I�m not into that much), go out, worry about homework and tests and my future instead of apocalypses and saving the world from unspeakable demons, when am I going to get time to hang out and dance, date, kiss. I feel I am missing out on so much, don�t get me wrong I love hanging around with Buffy and doing something so important as what we are, but I have lost so much as well. The reason I�m waxing lyrical is I had a reminder of what could have happened had Buffy not come to Sunnydale and I was killed, it�s made me want to live life to the fullest and I feel a little cheated that I can�t actually do that.
This world isn�t all that much fun. Ok I�m going to stop whining now.
Glad you have some clue as to how to find Drusilla, I�m sure you�ll have her eating out of your hand in no time at all. She�s a lucky vamp. Still no luck on the date front for the Prom so I might just take your advice and go solo. It looks like Faith is out of the running to be Xander�s date. She�s officially evil; she kidnapped Buffy and tried to turn Angel back to Angelus. She attempted to kill both Angel and Buffy and she�s been working with the Mayor to take over Sunnydale, with some fancy footwork and some pretty sparkles we ousted her and now she�s openly a bad guy. It was a hard time, especially when she was kissing Angel who was pretending to be Angelus, Buffy spent all night crying even though she knew it was fake. But I guess now everyone hates Faith as much as I do. i miss you being here and feel free to call me a sap but I do, I guess I needed your insight on why it hurt so much to see Xander with anyone let alone her. I have loved him since forever, even though he never knew it until that whole Oz fiasco. Still I�m doing better, I guess now Buffy isn�t spending so much time with Angel and Faith me and her will get to hang out more so that�s a plus.
Oh something I wanted to tell you, you know that Girl that has been hanging around Xander, Anya? Well she�s a demon, actually an Ex-demon. But Yay me, I knew there was something about her that creeped me out big time and boy howdy, she�s a vengeance demon. She tried to get me killed, that�s like the sixtieth time! But we kicked her ass and now she more sorta sulks than plots.
So tell me more about your plan for Drusilla, I�m interested to know how that�s going. I hope you find her soon.
Luck!
Willow
P.S Giles asked me how on earth I knew that word, Thanks for that!!
Willow sealed the letter with a small smile and stuck a stamp on it, she hadn�t got much to say to Spike this time, for some reason she wanted to keep the whole VAMPIRE Willow thing a secret from him for now.
Letters 7
Willow sat in the library bored as usual, it never normally got her nerves but today it did. It was a bind to have to sit there and research the latest creature feature when she wanted to be at home anxiously awaiting the post, there had been a letter for her last week from Spike outlining what he was doing to find Drusilla, he thought he was pretty close and she had written back telling him all about her new teaching position within the school, Principal Snyder had put it on her official record that she was substitute teacher for computer studies, plus she had been accepted into Oxford, she hoped Spike would be pleased for her. Plus she�d had to tell him that Xander had accepted a date for the Prom from that Anya girl who had turned out to be a demon. She still didn�t trust her and Cordelia had reverted back to her nasty bullying form and was trying to make Willow�s life hell again. She hoped to hear from him soon it was months since they had started writing back and forth to each other and she could recall a time when she had been happier. He was like a best friend, his viewpoint and advice something that she had grown to love and depend upon.
She was looking forward to this letter; she could do with the cheering up, especially today since...
The door to the library swung open and they all looked at each other. They were all here and no students of Sunnydale High actually knew where the library was so they were all wary and curious. It was a teenager dressed in an ill fitting blue overall.
�Uh hey, I�m looking for a,� he squinted at a piece of paper �Willow Rosenberg?�
They all looked at Willow
�Me?� she stood up. The boy sighed, relieved.
�Oh thank you, man I thought it was a joke when I got this at the depot, I mean it was like addressed to the Sunnydale High school library at night, we figured someone was joking with us.� He stood in the doorway and picked up a big package. �Here ya go, sign here.�
Willow signed the slip of paper and took the bulky box, it was huge, almost the size of her body. She staggered with it over to the desk and dropped it.
�Who would be sending you a package here?� Giles frowned �It might be best not to open it just yet.�
�Relax.� said Cordelia who had dropped in to flirt with Wesley �Like Willow is important enough to get bomb by mail.�
Willow scowled at her.
�Who�s it from?� Buffy wanted to know.
Willow picked up the nearest knife and dug it under the flap, prying the box open. There were hundreds of those little polystyrene hoops that cushion things during travel and Willow apprehensively dug her hands in until they touched something hard and rough. She grasped it and pulled. She pulled it out and looked at it oddly, it was a large papier-m�ch� doll with long brown hair and short skirt, and it rattled when she picked it up. There was an envelope attached to its low cut chest. Willow torn it off and opened it.
Pet
This remind you of anyone?? Now you can bash her as much as you want. Happy Birthday love.
S.
A grin broke through Willow�s lips
�It�s a pi�ata.� She laughed
�There�s sweets in there?� Xander perked up and Giles rolled his eyes.
�A human Pi�ata?� Buffy grinned �That�s new, who�s it from?�
�It�s from a friend who�s currently in Brazil.� Willow giggled; trust Spike to send her something like this, a way to beat either Cordelia or Anya up without actually touching them. It was inspired. He must have been thinking about it when he was in Mexico, she was flattered. She wondered what he had put inside, maybe all red sweets so it looked like Guts when it spilled. She chuckled again.
�What does the letter say?� Buffy asked curiously.
�Just, hope you like it, Happy birthday.� Willow lied smoothly.
�Your birthday?� Wesley started �Today?�
�No tomorrow.� Willow smiled, �I guess he sent it early.�
�He?� Buffy questioned with a raised eyebrow but it was forgotten as the door to the library opened again and Angel walked in.
�Hi.� he said moodily
�Hey.� Buffy replied just as awkwardly
Willow ignored them and picked up her new toy.
�What�s that?�
Angel asked with a frown.
�Pi�ata full of chocolaty goodness that Willow might share tomorrow at her mmpgh.� Xander suddenly had Buffy�s hand over his mouth and Willow wanted to roll her eyes, like she didn�t already know about her surprise party. Buffy may be the Slayer but as an organiser she wasn�t any good at surprises.
Angel came closer �It smells familiar.� He frowned
�You spend a lot of time in Mexico?� Willow hurriedly out the doll back in the box hoping Angel couldn�t distinguish Spike�s scent from her present.
�Yeah I guess.� Angel turned back to the guys �So what are we doing here?�
Willow had to get Buffy to carry the heavy box back to her house; it was just too much for her. She loved the fact that Spike had sent it to the school to cheer her up when she needed it. She wasn�t planning on talking it to the party tomorrow, she was gong to keep it until Cordelia or Anya really annoyed her and then she was going to bash it! She fell asleep that night with a huge grin on her face.
The next morning dawned with the typical bright sun that California was graced to receive and with it a very happy Willow. She sprung out of bed and quickly showered ready for the day. When she got downstairs there was the usual pile of mail in the floor but no letter. She smile fell and she resumed the rest of her morning ritual with less of a bounce in her step. Just as she was about to leave for school there was a knock at the door and she opened it to reveal the postman.
�Hello Miss, I got a letter here for you, it was too big to fit through the letter box so I figured I�d come back when you were awake.�
�Thanks.� The grin returned full force to Willow�s face as she took it and saw the lettering on the front.
It was a huge insulated envelope and she heard jingling as she tore it open. She tipped it up and something cold and heavy fell into her palm. It was a necklace, an ornate silver choker with red gems set in a swirling pattern it was exquisite and looked expensive.
Willow beamed as she opened the letter.
Red.
Hey pet, hope you like the necklace, it was something I was given years ago by my grandmother, I thought it would suit you more than it does me.
I had to send the Pi�ata to your school, wanted to cheer you up pet, you sounded so down in your last letter. Sorry I�ve not heard much about this ascension but from what I can gather it�s a big party�a dangerous party with a load of demons. Be careful okay pet? I�d hate for anything to happen to my only friend in the world.
In your last letter you said I could tell you anything so here goes.
It�s been a few weeks since I�ve found Drusilla. She�s still currently tied to that pole in the basement ready for her next punishment, I�m wearing her down, I can see it in her eyes. Normally they just look blank but when I�m hurting her she seems to come alive, she�s really a product of her daddies teaching. I know you said I can even tell you the violent things of my relationship as long as I don�t go into too much detail, so I�ll try to keep it short and sweet. Angelus used to torture her, and when he didn�t he�d ignore her. She grew to love the torture because that was the only time he ever paid attention to her. Now me, I hate doing that to her= for all I�m a demon, pain and pleasure I�m all for but pain without the end satisfaction isn�t up for much in my world. But I can see it in Dru�s eyes, she loves the pain but when I try to make it better for her, she gives me this half confused and half disgusted look. I can�t stand it so I leave without making her happy. That just seems to reinforce what Angelus does. But yesterday I think she broke. I used whips and holy water by the end she was screaming the same way she�d done for Angelus and god Red it made me feel sick, which pleased her. I let her down and she crawled towards me. I know I wanted to make her crawl but dammit, I wanted her to crawl for me not because I gave her what Angelus had. It�s just so bloody hard knowing that even when I give her what she wants the only one she�s thinking of is him. But the thing is Red, and I don�t know what to think of this, I�m not sure it matters so much anymore. Before it would have ripped me apart but now it�s more of an annoyance.
What does that even mean? I�ve been with her forever, or at least a century and I thought I�d be with her forever. I don�t understand. So I tied her back to the pole and went out for a drink. So here I am sitting in this demon bar, hoping for a bit of violence and pouring my undead heart out to my pen pal. Actually I don�t even know if I�ll send this letter I sound like such a ponce. I�ll probably just throw this one out and write you a nice one full of how are you and everything�s great. Except I can�t seem to lie to you, pet. Dammit Red I wish you were here.
Spike.
Willow put the letter down, her heart beating fast and her breath catching. Spike sounded so sad and so alone. She wanted to be with him as much as he seemingly wanted her there. It sounded like he was falling out of love with Drusilla. That in itself was scary, but he had been so confused by it.
Willow looked up at the clock; it was almost time for school. She stared back at the letter and then slowly, deliberately put her bag down and walked to her room and her writing desk.
Spike,
First of all thanks for the necklace and Pi�ata, the first is so beautiful and I think I know where to wear it and the second made me laugh. I needed that. This week has been so much better, we almost feel like a team again.
Thanks you for sending me that letter, I like to think we have a friendship based on trust and you trusted me enough to tell me what is going on and that means more to me than you will ever know. I�m sorry Spike, so sorry. I don�t pity you but I feel bad for what you are going through, sort of like sympathy pains. I think you need to think long and hard about why you are trying so hard with Drusilla, are you just clinging to the past and wont let go because she�s familiar? I won�t call you afraid because I know you are the big bad and aren�t afraid of anything but fear of the new and letting go is one reason why some relationships turn out so bad and drag for so long. All you end up doing is hating yourself and the person you are with. I don�t want that for you Spike; please don�t hold to something that is over. If what she wants is something that you�d hate to be, then don�t mould yourself for her, no one is worth making you into something you detest.
Don�t be mad at me for suggesting that, I really miss you and wish I could be there with you even if it is just for support.
Sorry this letter is so short but I will send another soon.
In the mean time take care and think about what I said.
Willow.
She was surprised to find herself crying at the thought of what Spike was going through right now. Willow capped her pen and folded the letter, hoping she could catch the post before it left.