Miscellaneous Jokes

A Desi chap's proposal to a foreign girl

A Desi chap was deeply in love with a pretty foreign girl, whom he wanted. But he did not have the courage to talk to her in person. So he decided to go alone and with the help of a dictionary, he wrote a letter of proposal to her. HE WROTE Most worthy of your estimation after a long consideration and much mediation. I have a strong indication to become your relation. As to my educational qualification, it is no exaggeration or fabrication that I have passed my matriculation examination; no doubt without any hesitation and very little preparation. What do you say to the solemnisation of our marriage celebration according to the glorification of modern civilisation and with a view to the expansion of the population of present generation. On your approbation of the application, I shall make preparation to improve my situation, and if such obligation is worthy of consideration it will be our argumentation of the joy and exaltation of our joint dissimilation. Thanking you in anticipation and with devotion, To remain victim of your fascination.

SHE WROTE Dear Mr. Victim of my fascination, Congratulation for your lengthy narration of course full of affection aimed at an affiliation for a combination which on examination I find is a fine presentation of your ambition. You have passed your matriculation with little preparation, what about my graduation after a long botheration, so improve situation in education and make an application by acquisition of post graduation and minimum qualification for the convocation and before taking your photo for circulation undergo beautification. Further strict observation of the following conditions is the regulation for the determination of our relation. 1. Consultation of my parents before approaching for my connection. 2. Communication of your confirmation that you are not a victim of any fascination and, 3. Procreation must not be your recreation. In anticipation of a solid action instead of continuation of paper conversation. I Remain, Unaffected by your affection.

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Coloured People

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here... He then said, "When I was born I was black," "When I grew up I was black," "When I'm sick I'm black," "When I go in the sun I'm black," "When I'm cold I'm black," "When I die I'll be black." "But you sir..." "When you're born you're pink," "When you grow up you're white," "When you're sick, you're green," "When you go in the sun you turn red," "When you're cold you turn blue," "And when you die you turn purple." "And you have the nerve to call me colored!!!" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Pass this on and help erase racism!

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Essay By A Bihari

The Cow

Youll forget your English by the time you finish
reading this. This is a true essay written by a
Bihari(Indian State) candidate at the recent UPSC(IAS)
Examinations. The candidate has written an essay on
the Indian cow:

HE IS THE COW. The cow is a successful animal. Also he
is 4 footed, And because he is female, he give milks,
[but will do so when he is got child.] He is same
like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he
has got four legs together. Two are forward and two
are afterwards. His whole body can be utilised for
use.More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached
to his basement. horses dont have any such attachment.
What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why
and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful
to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally. His
motion is slow only because he is of lazy species.
Also his other motion.. [gober] is much useful to
trees, plants as well as for making flat cakes [like
Pizza], in hand, and drying in the sun.

Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding
after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth
whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is
incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only
attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially
so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his
head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled
to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with
great velocity forwards.He has got tails also,
situated in the backyard, but not like similar
animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other
side. This is done to frighten away the flies which
alight on his cohesive body hereupon he gives hit with
it.The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So
the grasses head is not crushed. At night time have
poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts. His
eyes and nose are like his other relatives.This is the
cow.....

Surprisingly, the candidate passed the exam! Now, you
can judge that how capable the Indian executive
command is...!
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Heard at a School in Bihar

This is Awesome ! !

Inside the Class :

* Open the doors of the window. Let the Atmosphere come in.
* Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
* Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.
* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor
* You, meet me behind the class. (meaning AFTER the class)
* Both of u three, get out of the class.
* Close the windows please .. I have winter in my nose today
* Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
* Take 5 cm wire of any length....
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# About his family :
* I have two daughters. Both of them are girls...(?)
* My long sister was boiling in water so I send her to hospital.
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# At the ground :
* All of you, stand in a straight circle.
* There is no wind in the balloon.
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# To a boy, angrily :
I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk ?
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# Giving a punishment :
* You, rotate the ground four times... [ he meant take rounds ]
* You, go and under-stand the tree...
* You three of you, stand together separately.
* Why are you late - say YES or NO ....(?)
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# Sir at his best :
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife.
By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre,
though the boy did not see them. So the next day at school...
( to that boy )
- " Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre"

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