Witty Comments and Deep Thoughts: |
I was wondering if there was a retarted baseball team, would they all be on the disabled list? One thing is for sure, they would be fighting over handicapped parking spots. |
Do you think that all horses are ready for a stable relationship? |
If I told you about two people, one named Flippy and one named Hambone, who would you think likes dolphins more? You probably said Flippy but your wrong because its Hambone. |
The only difference between me and a superhero is that I get sent home from work for wearing tites, that's just unfair. |
I think that the reason Cops won't let you snoop through plane wreakages is because someone might lay down and say, "What the hell was that!" |
A whale washed up on the shore of Vancouver Island the other day. An autopsy revealed that it had died of AIDS. Turns out that it was rear ended by a ferry. |
Laughter is the best medicine, unless your diabetic, then incilin is the best medicine. |
At big family dinners I like to pile up the potatoes and when people ask me where the meat is, I pull out the meat from under the potatoes and say, "You mean this?" |
My girlfriend asked me how I slept once, I said, "I don't know, I made a few mistakes." |
I got fired from my job at the pet store for braiding three snakes together and dipping bunnies into chocolate for action poses. What has this world come to? |
Why is the dove the peace symbol? Why not try the pillow, it has more feathers and doesn't have that dangerous beak. |
Sometimes when I think about the meaning of life I think about the word "mankind". If you break it up to "mank" and "ind", everything becomes that much clearer. |
It would be really satisfying to see someone sink into quicksand. Then, when all the on-lookers are panicking, the guy would come shooting out of the quicksand on waterskiis. |
Why are they called hotpants when clearly, they are shorts. I don't get it? |
I was wondering, when hookers are learning their tricks of the trade, are they given oral exams by their pimps? |
I remember when my great Uncle Jerry used to sit on the porch and whittle away wood. Once, he whittled me a boat out of a nice, red boat that I gave him. The new boat was almost as nice except it was bumpy and had no red paint left. |
I've found that you can't make someone love you, however you can stalk them untill they give in. |
If you haven't already, I must invite you to SIMMER DOWN NOW!!! |
A portrait of the "K" man |
Something to think about? |
Also, something to think about! |