Writings>>Lists>>You KNOW You're Insane When...
1. Normal people scare you.
2. You have a Turkish "Good Eye" hanging from your fan and leis hanging above your bed. (Room decorations, anyone?)
3. You have a rabid owl, small head with a big nose, and a two-faced tribal thingy, all lovingly sculpted by you, of course, sitting on your shelf.
4.People look at you strangely in the hallways and you don't give a damn about it.
5. You have a giant yellow stuffed dinosaur sitting in your closet that gives your best friend nightmares when she comes over. (Sarah...it's coming to get you!)
6. People call you "queer" and you say "Thank you!" (Take THAT, Erin!)
7. Your friend says to you, "Have I ever told you that you are extremely strange?" (Erin, I'm surprised it took you this long...I'm ashamed.)
8. You walk down the hall slapping your ass and singing "Control" by Puddle of Mudd at the top of your lungs.
9. You are convinced that your English teacher is the Spawn of Satan or the Antichrist herself.
10. You and your friend insist on making your new poetry notebook "all pretty" before you write a word in it.
11. You know people think you're totally nuts and you're proud of it.
12. The mental hospital called and said they miss you or to never come back again. (I escaped...Mwahaha...in 4 years I'l be let loose on the world-College here I come!)
13. Your stress cube is named "Mr. Cube", he has a nametag, and you insist on introducing him to ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE you meet.
14. You can quote from anything and everything at will. (On cue, everyone..."Fuck you all/I lost the war/I hate this place/Your mom's a whore/Where's my dog?..."-Dysentary Gary, blink-182)
15.You can quote from your favorite FanFiction authors at will.
16. You swim during the winter. (Yes, I do! My school swim season runs from October to February.)
17. You remain on the school swim team despite your crazy Coach Madonna...erm, McDaniel, and multiple cases of swimmers' ear.
18. You sing "Wasting My Time" by Default at the top of your lungs during Computer Systems, therefore making your teacher extremely mad.
19. You praise your computer for starting in under ten tries. (My computer is posessed, or else it's got a mind of its own.)
20. You wear shorts and a t-shirt during the winter.
21. You skip down the hall laughing hysterically after school.
22. You make a computer background that says "Beware of Dancing Twizzlers. They tend to bite. Hard." and has lots of squiggly pink lines on it and then post it on your computer at school.
23. You're not afraid to let people know you've got multiple personalities.
24. You hold extended conversations OUT LOUD with the aforementioned multiple personalities.
25. You mention out loud that your multiple personalities enjoy visiting your friend's multiple personalities and doing dirty things. (Me and Sarah think at least two of our multiple personalities are gay.)
26. Your friend reads all the random stuff you've got written on your pencilcase and calls you stoned.
27. You are convinced that invisible squirrels, trees, and cafeteria food are conspiring to take over the world.
28. You eat "evil spinning soup" for lunch.
29. You always blame things on your multiple personalities. "But the voices in my head told me to do it..."
30. You rely on your Magic-8 Ball to give you the answer to your most important questions and when it doesn't give you the answer you want, you chuck it at someone's head, muttering how you should have never listened to your school pizza.
31. Almost everything you own has a name. "Mr. Bill Pencil, meet Mrs. Betty Calculator..."
32. You become randomly obsessed with food, from sushi to omlettes to burritos...
33. You ahve a shrine to Travis Barker's pet fishies in you locker (or who/whatever floats your boat).
34. You have a running list of funny random stuff hanging in your locker.
35. You write a theme song for you and your friends. And you insist on humming it 24/7.
36. You constantly make fun of your school fight song lyrics/melody. "'We are not the moose or the deer?' Who the hell came up with that?"
37. You speak in a random mix of French, Spanish, Japanese, English, Chinese...whatever you want!
38. You are able to curse in a variety of different languages. You exercise this ability frequently.
39. You teach your entire class "kisama" and what it means.
40. You make sure you and your friends are known as "those crazy girls who're obsessed with blink-182" (or whatever band floats your boat).
41. You flip everyone the bird whenever possible. This may get you a detention, but it's tons of fun. I've flipped my Ancient Civ teacher off before.
42. You make strange faces. And I mean strange.
43. You speak in fake Latin. "Kickimus Maximus Buttimus."
44. You're known as the expert on fun ways of killing people. You exercise this knowledge frequently. Interrogation chairs, anyone?
45. When someone is talking to you and you really don't feel like listening, you rattle off some weird answering machine message like:
"You have not reached the mind of Nika. She's concerned with more important things right now. If you would like to speak to her eventually, please press one. If you would like to speak to any of her multiple personalities, press any number two through eight. If you would like to speak to her fish, please press nine, but as she doesn't have a fish, that extension doesn't work. And even if she did have a fish, it wouldn't be able to talk. And even if the fish could talk, it wouldn't want to talk to you!"
46. When Crazy Hair Day rolls around at school, you streak your hair multiple colors, put it up in three ponytails, and wear a tiara.
47. When asked to answer a question, you say "I don't know, but I think *insert multiple personality here* does." You then hold a whispered conference and produce an answer.
48. When bored, you sing "Big House" by Audio Adrenaline, Fr. Tim style, complete with hand motions.
"Come and go with me/to my Father's house/Come and go with me/to my Father's house/It's a big, big house/with lots and lots of room/There's a big, big table/with lots and lots of food/There's a big, big yard/where we can play football (Touchdown!)/It's a big, big house/It's my Father's house" (A church song, yes, but lots of fun to sing.
49. Whenever possible, you incorporate hamsters into a project. Double points if they're dancing hamsters. Triple points if they're surfing hamsters.
And last, but definitely not least, the old cliche...
50. You make one of these lists.
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