Chapter One
"Hello, you've reached the Wilson residence. We're not able to answer the phone right now, so if you'll leave your name, phone number and a message after the beep, we'll be sure to get back to you ASAP. Thanks and have a good day!" Jen rolled over on the couch, hearing the answering machine pick up. She had been in the same spot on the couch since three o'clock a.m. that morning. Looking at the clock, she realized that it was almost six in the evening. She padded into the kitchen for a glass of water, listening to the voice over the answering machine.
"Hey, Jen...are you there? It's Zac....hmm, I guess not. Well, when you get home can you give me a call? A bunch of us are going over to Roni's tonight and I thought you might want to tag along. I miss you. Well, give me a call babe. Love you." She sighed, knowing she had been avoiding his calls. As she poured herself a glass of water from the pitcher in the fridge, her mind drifted to the day that her father was put away forever.
"We, the prosecution call Jared Therman to the stand." Jared, in handcuffs and a bright orange suit, slowly made his way up to the chair beside the judge, glancing blankly at Jen, who immediately looked away, afraid of his gaze. Zac, who was sitting beside her, squeezed her hand gently.
"Jared, we understand that you dated the defendant's daughter, Savanna. Is that correct?" The lawyer said confidently, looking Jared directly in the eyes. He looked away, over to the jury with a expressionless stare.
"Yes." He said in a barely audible voice. Savanna began to cry, trying unsuccessfully to control her sobs. Jared looked over at her just as she got up and left the room.
"Is that how you met the defendant, Mr. Wilson? Through his daughter?" Jen looked up, tears falling silently down her face, feeling her fathers heavy stare on her. Zac noticed too and put his arm around her.
"No."
"Then how did you come into contact with the defendant?" Jared looked away, ashamed at what the answer was going to be.
"I needed some weed, and Mr. Wilson was known among my friends as a cheap seller. So I went to him and he supplied me with some." He said, suddenly defiant.
"What was the price you paid for it?" The lawyer said, finger against her chin.
"He told me I was to pay him $350 for the bag, and since I didn't have the money with me, he agreed to let me give him a down payment and pay the rest by the next month, or he would have me do things for him."
"And did you meet that deadline?"
"No."
"What were the things he made you do because you didn't pay him when he asked to be paid?"
"He wanted me to be a hitman for him." He sighed, hearing the jury and the rest of the courtroom fall completely silent.
"Who were his targets?" Jen's shoulders began to shake, and she shivered uncontrollably. Zac tightened his grip on her and kissed the top of her head.
"Jenifer Wilson and Zac Hanson." As he spoke the words, looking at their faces, he began to cry.
"It never sunk in how much I would hurt these people and their friends and family. I never meant to really hurt anyone." Zac snorted, looking down at his ankle, still swelled slightly and healing from the laceration caused by Jared just a month before.
"And why did Mr. Wilson choose these people as his targets?" Jared looked down, obviously ashamed.
"He wouldn't tell me the whole story, and I wasn't about to ask. He told me that Jenifer knew a secret about him that could get him in a lot of trouble. Zac was a target because he figured Jen had told him the story."
"So this secret...he never gave you any clues as to what it was?"
"No, not really. When I found out, I could see him doing it, but he never told me or gave me clues that he was raping her."
"What kinds of things led you to believe that he was the type of person to rape his own daughter?"
"Objection!" The defendants lawyer thundered, thrusting his hands in the air when the judge shook his head.
"Overruled. Continue, counselor."
"What kinds of actions taken by Mr. Wilson led you to believe that he was the type to be a rapist?"
"I don't know, really. Personality traits. He always seemed to be under the influence of something. Drugs, alcohol. He would always look women walking down the street up and down, which made them obviously uncomfortable. They would walk away quickly when they saw him looking at them. He would look at any woman like that. A mother even."
"Can you give me a few specific examples?"
"One time we were in the car talking, he was giving me some information about Jen and Zac, and this mother walking a baby stroller with her husband walked by and he stopped talking and looked her up and down. She noticed and told her husband, who gave him a dirty look before rushing his family away. Another time we were talking on the phone, he was on a pay phone, and you could hear a womans voice in the background. She was talking so filthy, I could almost be certain she was a prostitute."
"So you can be sure that Mr. Wilson committed adultery while still married to his wife?"
"Yes." He said, looking at his shoes.
Jen was startled out of her thought by another phone call. She ignored it, as usual.
"Hey Jen? It's Roni. Um...Zac called me, and he seemed pretty upset. It seems you've been avoiding his calls. In fact, it seems like you've been avoiding everyone's calls.
Listen, when you get the chance, call me. We need to talk to you. We miss you."
Jen sighed as she felt the familiar burning sensation in her eyes. She felt so alone now. Ever since her father was put away in jail for life, ever since her mother came home from the hospital, she just hadn't been herself. She was just losing interest in everything. She no longer wanted to be with friends, no longer wanted to be with family, even Tyler. She knew people didn't understand, and so she removed herself from everything. It was almost like she was dead inside, because her life consisted of watching TV. That's it. She hadn't been able to sleep in days because of the nightmares about her father. She hadn't eaten in days because she lost her appetite. She had lost about thirty pounds, and was now a less than healthy 96 pounds. She hadn't showered in weeks, not being able to get up the energy for it. Her hair was greasy and matted down. A sight she would've been ashamed to see herself as a few months ago. Jen felt non existant to the world, as if she wasn't even there.
"Jen? Honey? I'm home." She heard her mother call as the front door closed. She took another quick sip of water before dumping the rest into the sink and putting the glass in the dishwasher with a clatter.
"Oh, honey, I'm glad you're up. Listen, I saw Sharon at work, and she said Roni was having a big party tonight, with all your friends and Roni hadn't been able to get a hold of you. Why don't you run upstairs and change out of your PJ's and I'll run you over real quick before I go get Savanna from basketball practice, okay?" She asked hopefully, straightening the bandage on her neck, still there from three months before, when her ex-husband had tried to kill her by slicing her throat. She was worried about Jen as much as anyone. She saw that she had distanced herself from society, and was not happy. She sighed as she looked at Jen's pale, thin face, with dark circles under her eyes. Getting no response from Jen, she walked over and listened to the messages on the machine, over half of which were from Jen's friends, worried about her, and almost sounding angry that she was avoiding them. She turned back to ask Jen when she planned on calling them back, but discovered she had left.
"Hi, Sharon? It's me. Listen, I don't think Jen's up to going out tonight. I just don't know what to do with her anymore." Susan said through the phone, nervously twisting the cord around her finger.
"Yeah, Roni's been really worried about her too. What's going on?"
"I don't even know exactly. She won't get out of the house, she won't eat, she won't even shower for goodness sake. She looks so terribly unhappy I just don't know how much more of this I can handle." She said, her voice cracking.
"Have you considered taking her to a psychiatrist?"
"Yes, but how do I know for sure that she'll go? She won't talk to me, she won't talk to her friends. Even if I am able to convince her to go, I'm not sure that she'll be open to talking about her feelings with a complete stranger."
"Well, to me it doesn't look like you have very many more options. I would just force her to go for a month or two, and if the psychiatrist says that they don't think it's helping, then pull her out. Just make sure she doesn't know that, because then she might refuse to talk to them at all." Susan nodded, sniffling.
"Yes, I guess you're right. But who do I call?"
"I'm not sure. I've heard of a Dr. Baker in the area, but I'm not sure if she's any good or what her credentials are. But you could at least check her out. It doesn't hurt to try."
"Yeah. I just hope she can help us." Susan said sighing and wiping her nose.
"Me too. Listen, Susan, I need to go help Roni set up for the party, so I need to get going, but make sure that Jen knows there's a chair set up here with her name on it if she changes her mind, okay?"
"Okay, thanks so much Sharon. It means a lot to us. I'll talk to you soon. Bye!"
"Bye!" Jen, with an emotionless _expression hung up the phone she had been listening in on upstairs. She didn't want to go to a psychiatrist, but she knew she needed help. She wanted help, she just didn't know how to help herself.
"Jen?" Tyler knocked on the door to Jen's room, trying to be loud enough to be heard over her blaring music. Getting no response, he tried to turn the knob, which was locked. He sighed.
"Jen! Open the door!" He yelled. This time, he heard the volume decrease and Jen's bed squeaking, signaling that she was getting up. When she opened the door, he almost didn't recognize her. Their relationship lay in shambles around them, Jen not having the energy or the care to pick them up again. Her dark face, streaked with tears were a cry for help, but no one knew what to do or how to help her.
"Mom wants you to come down to dinner," He held up his hand when she tried to protest.
"She said no excuses. If you're not going to eat, she at least wants you down there for company. She has something she wants to talk to all of us about." Tyler, knowing what it was felt pity on his sister. He knew his mother had called Dr. Baker and scheduled an appointment for her to see Jen the next day, and he knew Jen wasn't going to be happy about it. She nodded and shut the door, turning her music back up. Tyler shook his head, not knowing whether the nod meant that she'd be down or that she was choosing to ignore them. Whatever she meant, he could tell that the wires were beginning to fray.
"Jen, would you like some chicken? I made your favorite, barbecued, with Grandma's special sauce." Her mother said brightly, seeing Jen walk into the kitchen, still in her pajamas.
"No I don't want any chicken. I don't want anything. What do you want?" She said sharply. Her mother pointed to a seat at the table.
"Sit down and I don't ever want to hear you speak that way to me again young lady." Jen plopped down and pulled her knees to her chest. Tyler and Savanna exchanged glances, while Mandi, their youngest sister, just stirred her pudding, a frown on her face.
"Now, pass the food around Tyler, and please Jen. Just eat something." Jen said nothing, just rolled her eyes and looked at the floor.
"I decided to call a psychiatrist today to see all of us. After what happened with your father, I figured it might be wise for all of us to go. Her name is Dr. Baker, and our first appointment is for tomorrow morning at 9 o'clock." She finished, smiling at Mandi, who was grinning over her chicken.
"This isn't for the whole family. This is for me, and you can forget about me going. There is no way in hell that I'm going to a complete stranger to let them tell me that there is something wrong with me." Jen yelled, knocking her chair over. Her mother threw her napkin down, flinching at the pain she still felt in her neck.
"You will go if I have to drag you out of here kicking and screaming. I don't know what is wrong with you, Jen, and I don't know how to fix it. But I know that I can't continue letting you live your life like this." Jen turned on her heels and ran up the stairs.
"I love you! And so does the rest of your family! That's why we're doing this!" She was answered only by the slamming of Jens bedroom door, followed by the immediate blaring of angry music. Looking around the table, she saw the stares of pity from her children.
"Mom, you did the right thing." Tyler said, taking her hand and squeezing it gently. She smiled weakly.
"Thank you sweetie. I hope I did."
"Daddy?" Jen said in her sleep, seeing her father. She was a little girl, running up to hug him. He took her in his arms and twirled her around.
"How's daddy's little girl?" he said, kissing her cheek. All at once, the blue cloudless sky turned red and began to rain black tears. Her father, who had looked so loving and kind moments before now looked cold and angry. Jen screamed and ran from him, to the backyard, where the playhouse she had once loved so much erupted in flames. Her father was coming after her, becoming larger in size with every step. Trying to open to back door to her house, she screamed when she felt her fathers hot breath on her skin.
"How's daddy's little girl?" He hissed, picking her up and ripping the pink dress from her body.
"How's daddy's little girl, huh? How's daddy's little girl?"
Jen sat straight up in her bed, soaked from head to foot in a cold sweat. It was the first time she had slept in days, but she felt more drained than ever. The morning sunshine shone through her window, almost making her nauseas. She glanced over at the clock, having trouble keeping her eyes focused from the tiredness that seemed to overpower her. She would have to leave for Dr. Bakers in an hour.
"Jen, honey? Are you up?" She heard her mother knocking on the door. Remembering that she'd forgotten to lock it, she crawled underneath the covers and hid herself from her mother, the sunshine and the world.
"Honey, we're leaving in an hour. I want you to be showered and dressed by then. Don't even try me on this Jen. I mean it. You are going." With that, she heard her mother leave, not closing the door on her way out. Jen threw the covers back and immediately threw her hands over her eyes to shield the bright sun. Her eyes landed on the roses that Zac had sent her a month ago, to try and cheer her up. Her mom had put them in a vase to keep in her room, and Jen remembered the beauty they once held, and the love she had felt when she held them close to her. Now, the beauty was gone and all that was left was dried rose petals on the floor and a brown film covering the water. She compared them to herself. Once a happy girl, a girl that could do anything, and was loved, was now nothing more than a dead rose petal, black and crumbled.
Jen missed being the person she was, but nothing could pull her out of the slump she was in. She wanted so badly to be able to feel again, to love again. She walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower, almost hearing her mother smile with relief.
Stepping out of the shower, Jen felt more energized than she had in a long time. She willed herself to want to get better, to stop hurting the people around her. She knew this was the first step in getting better.
"So, Jared, you mean to tell me that you fully intended to carry out the demands made by the defendant, Mr. Wilson?" Jen shook her head, hearing her fathers lawyer question Jared.
"No. I only intended to scare them. Make them listen to Mr. Wilson, and not try to challenge him. I never meant to hurt either one of them." Glancing at the cold stare Zac shot him, he couldn't help but remember hiding under the dock in the cold, black water. He never meant to actually hurt him. He was trying to miss, but didn't succeed.
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