Hillarious Collection
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Should women have children after 35?
No, 35 children are more than enough!
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Are you coming for my 18th birthday party?
No, I went for that five years ago.
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No one has ever complained of a parachute not
opening.
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Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an
annual free trip around
the Sun.
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Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep!
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ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY
So what? Who's in a hurry?
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Work fascinates me. I can look at it for hours!
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God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our
friends
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Love is photogenic; it needs darkness to develop
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A good discussion is like a miniskirt; Short enough
to arouse interest and
long enough to cover the subject
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Children in backseats cause accidents;
Accidents in backseats cause children!
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Do you know of a Sardar who parked his car in front
of a board, which said
FINE FOR PARKING.
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A drunk was hauled into court. Mister, the judge
began, you've been brought
here for drinking.
Great, the drunk exclaimed. When do we get started?
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Can you do anything that other people can't?
Sure, I can read my handwriting.
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Whom are you working for?
Same people. My wife and four kids.
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I heard you have a cat that can say her own name.
Yes. Meow.
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Divorce has become so common that my wife and I are
staying married just to be different.
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When a wife was asked: What books do you like the
best?
She answers: My husband's cheque book.
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Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one
else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again
yesterday.
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Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
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My father is so old that when he was in school,
history was called current
affairs.
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Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a
donkey and stopped him,
what virtue would I be showing?
Student: Brotherly love.
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Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before eating?
Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
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Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't
need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just
the right person in this
case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!
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Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car
around it.
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Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is
exactly the same as your
brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
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Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the
manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.
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Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do
you?
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Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from
me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!
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Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within
three days, you can keep
it.
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Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to
teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
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Q. What did the Egyptian say to his girlfriend?
A. Come behind the pyramid, I'll make u a mummy
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