> > > CROCODILE BOOTS..
> > > Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you
> > > bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to
> > Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being
> > made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him
> > killing a huge one . He alks over the reptile,
> > checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and
> > *again* barefeet!"
> > > * * * * * *
> > > A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny
> > > object.
> > > He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
> > > The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask."
> > > The sardar then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk
> >
> > > responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps
> > > cold things cold."
> > > The sardar says, "I'll take it!"
> > > The next day, he walks into work with his new
> > > thermos.
> > > His sardar boss sees him and asks,
> > > "What is that shiny object with you?"
> > > He said, "It's a thermos flask."
> > > The boss then says,
> > > "What does it do?" He replies, "It keeps hot
> > > things
> > > hot and cold things cold."
> > > The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
> > > The sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a
> > > coke."
> > > * * * * * *
> > > What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies ?
> >
> > > He will compare it with the original for spelling
> > > mistakes
> > > !!
> > > * * * * * *
> > > What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional
> > > white sheet of paper ?
> > > (he already has one and he wants one more..)
> > > He takes a photcopy of the white paper !!!
> > > * * * * * *
> > > Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom
> > > fighters. They were planning for free Punjab.
> > > Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh..we'll get Punjab
> > > from India but how would we develop it?"
> > > That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly
> > > Banta Singh replied, "No problem! we'll
> > > attack USA, it would take over us and then we
> > > would be a state of USA and we'll automatically
> > > get developed." All the surds became happy on this
> >
> > > very simple solution but an old surd did
> > > not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he
> > > wasn't happy. The surd replied, "OH! THAT'S
> > > ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE
> > TAKE OVER USA ?????"
> > > =============================================
> > > Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found
> > > a bargain.
> > > "I would like to buy this small TV," he told the
> > > salesman.
> > > "Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied.
> > > He hurried home removed his turban and changed his
> >
> > > hair style, and returned to tell the salesman
> > > "I would like to buy this TV."
> > > "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman
> > > replied.
> > > "Damn, he recognized me," he thought. he went for
> > > a complete disguise this time, haircut and new
> > hair
> > > color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a
> > few days before he again approached the salesman.
> > > "I would like to buy this TV."
> > > "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
> > > Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a
> > > Sardar?"
> > > "Because that's a microwave," he replied.
> > > * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
> > > Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
> > > Because below 18 was not allowed.
> > > * * * * * *
> > > How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
> > > Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear
> > > * * * * * *
> > > What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade
> >
> > > at you?
> > > Pull the pin and throw it back.
> > > * * * * * *
> > > What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
> > > Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his
> > > mouth.
> > > * * * * * *
> > > How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
> > > Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
> > > * * * * * *
> > > What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands
> > > tightly over his ears?
> > > Trying to hold on to a thought.
> > > * * * * * *
> > > Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
> > > So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
> > > * * * * * *
> > > Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
> > > They always forget the recipe.
> > > * * * * * *
> > > How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
> > > He threw it off a cliff.
> > > * * * * * *
> > > What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
> > > A wind tunnel.
> > > * * * * * *
> > > What do you see when you look into a Sardar's
> > > eyes?
> > > The back of his head.
> > > * * * * * *
> > > What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
> > > Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
> > > * * * * * *
> > > What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
> > > Just-one Singh.
> > > * * * * * *
> > > Why does Sardar always smile during lightning
> > > storms?
> > > They think their picture is being taken.
> > > * * * * * *
> > > Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their
> > > shoes?
> > > Toes Go In First.
> > > * * * * * *
> > > How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
> > > It has a stamp on it.
> > > * * * * * *
> > > Why can't Sardar dial 911?
> > > They can not find the eleven on the phone
> > > * * * * * *
> > > How do you get Sardar on the roof?
> > > Tell him the drinks are on the house.
> > > * * * * * *
> > > "Oh, look at the dead bird."
> > > Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
> > > * * * * * *
> > > What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
> > > You always hear about them but you never see them.
> >
> > > * * * * * *
> > > Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman
> > > as opposed to a regular one?
> > > You have to hollow out the head.
> > > * * * * * *
> > > TO LOSE WEIGHT..
> > > The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight
> > > kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34
> > > kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the
> >
> > > doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he
> > > had a problem.
> > > "What's the problem?"asked the doctor.
> > > "I'm 2400 kms from home."
> > > * * * * * *
> > > TRAIN TO LUDHIANA..
> > > Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway
> >
> > > station.
> > > Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train
> > > to Ludhiana?" "No," answers the Railway man.
> > > "Can I?" asks Gani Singh.
> > > * * * * * *
> > > A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when
> > > the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in
> > his
> > > seat when his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya
> > baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema i to hai"
> > > Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata
> > > hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko
> > kya pata "
> > > * * * * * *
> > > Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the
> > > railway tracks and he takes along some wine and
> > chicken with him.
> > > Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye sab kyon
> >
> > > leke baithe ho?"
> > > Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin
> > > bhook se na marjaun"
> > > * * * * * *
> > > Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt
> >
> > > sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on
> > > the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the
> > > station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he
> > felt that for 20 rupees, the sardarji eserved more
> > service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep,the
> > > barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the
> > > station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he
> > went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face,
> > and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.
> > > Said his wife " What's the matter?" Replied he
> > > "The cheat on the train has
> > > taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"
> > > * * * * * *
> > > Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his
> >
> > > knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him
> >
> > > and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you
> > thanking God for ?"
> > > The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing
> >
> > > to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that
> > time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
> > > * * * * * *
> > > Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the
> > > birth certificate "Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh.
> > > Kid: Chinese."
> > > "How come you write "Chinese" when both parents
> > > are Sikh?" " Aah,
> > > Sardarji read a newspaper, it says that every 4th
> > > person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."
> > > * * * * * *
> > > Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent
> > > to the outer space.
> > > The ground control issues commands "Rubi!" "Woof!"
> >
> > > its the barking sound )
> > > "Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!"
> > > "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!"
> > > "Sardarji!" "Woof."
> > > "Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch
> > > anything!"
> > > * * * * * *
> > > * * * * * *
> > > Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street
> > > which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if
> > he
> > > wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says
> > "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and
> > > I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand
> > and
> > > disappeared. Having waited for several hours the
> > Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride.
> > > On the next day the Sardarji is again walking
> > > along the same street and the same man asks him to
> > buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and
> > > I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives him the
> > > thousand and says "I am not a fool.This time, you
> > wait and I'll go get a ladder."
> > > * * * * * *
> > > DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE
> > > Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay.
> > > They managed to get into a double-decker bus.
> > Santa
> > > Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But
> > unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
> > > After a while when the rush was over, Santa went
> > > upstairs to see friend Banta Singh. He met Banta
> > in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with
> > both hands, scared to death. He says, "Arre Banta
> > Singh ! What the heck's goin'on? Why are you so
> > scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there? Scared
> > Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.*"
> > > * * * * * *
> > > Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor.
> > > The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears
> > and he answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the
> > phone
> > > rang - but instead of picking up the phone I
> > accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my
> > ear." "
> > > Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But
> >
> > > ..what happened to your other ear?"
> > >"The scoundrel called back."