On The Lighter Side...





If you learn nothing else about yourself or others, please learn to have a sense of humor about life and your experiences. Your sense of humor will keep you humble and very REAL !







1. I started out with nothing, I still have most of it. �� ���
2. My wild oats have turned to prunes and All Bran. �� ���
3. I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart. �� ���
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. �� ���
5. All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair. ��
6. If all is not lost, where is it? ��
7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. ��
8. Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant. �� 9. I wish the buck stopped here. I sure could use a few. ��
10. Kids in the back-seat cause accidents; accidents in the back-seat cause kids. ��
11. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. ��
12. Only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. ��
13. If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees. ��
14. When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess? ��
15. It's not hard to meet expenses .... They're everywhere. �
16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth

sent to me by smartalexander






The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.
The perfect man likes children
And will raise them by your side
He will be a good father
As well as a good husband to his bride.
The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too
He'll do anything in his power
To convey his feelings of love on to you.
The perfect man is sweet
Writing poetry from your name
He's a best friend to your mother
And kisses away your pain.
He never has made you cry
Or hurt you in any way
To hell with this endless poem
The perfect man is gay.

sent to me by Oboyo4






Words of Wisdom
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
Borrow money from pessimists: they don't expect it back.
Half the people you know are below average.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Thanks Larry






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