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    COLD

I'm in my own world
Because no one will let me in theirs

I am alone
I am nothing

I am everything no one wants
I am less than garbage

All I feel is loneliness and
Rage and Pain and Anger and
INSANITY and
LIVING HELL and
DEATH and 
COLD

    HOPE

A ray of hope through the darkness
Shines upon me
All who share this hell with me
Feel jealousy

    TRAPPED

I go here and there
I run everywhere

Yet I am trapped
In places unmapped

I am trapped in my mind
Because people are unkind

Rage has caged me
And I have lost the key

All I feel is pain
It made me insane

If you just love me
You can set me free

    The Heart of Darkness

Into the heart of darkness
That is where I wander

I am alone on this journey
For only the insane travel here

And I am insane
For I have no soul

Since I have no soul
I can not claim to have sanity

Without sanity
All you are is alone

    Rage 

Rage is my friend
Rage is my only companion
Rage has eroded my soul
Rage has stolen my sanity

I am alone
I am a shell
I am empty
I am dead

I am death
I am a machine
A killing machine
I am pure rage

    Title Unknown

So passes into Death the
Wiseman with no fear in his heart
For he knows that Death is not an End
But another step on an Endless journey

    Night screams

A cry splits through the night
An animal just died
It's killer howls with joy
The sweet taste of victory
And blood in it's mouth
It is the supreme predator

    The Shotgun

Schuck klick
Ka-BOOM
BOOOMM BOOOMM

A shot rings out
A sound echoes
It's raining feathers

    Feathers

A bird sits in a tree
It hears schuck klick
Ka-Boom booomm booomm
The tree is painted red
It's raining feathers

    The Right to Arm Bears

The prey runs from the predator
The bullet screams from the gun
The gun kicks the hunter
The hunter chases the prey
The hunter is the predator
The prey is the hunted
The hunted die
It's an endless cycle
Where the man with the gun seldom loses
It isn't fair
Animals don't have guns
Maybe we should give them the guns
Let them hunt us
See what it's like in their shoes
Are they the smart ones?

    Death

I am human no longer
For I have been eroded away by rage
I have no feelings
I having no conscience
I have no soul
I am Death in human form
That and nothing more
I am empty
I am a shell
I am dead
Years go by
People die
I care not 
That is the way of life

    Death

I'm rotting away
Day by day

I see no light
Day or night

My life is gone
Traveled beyond

My soul is free
It was stripped from me

And I ponder
Where my soul as wandered

My soul has fled
I am dead

    Eroded Hell

This is a place of pain
This is a place of nothing
This is my place
This is my hell

Everything hurts
Nothing hurts
Everything is nothing
And nothing is everything

This is a place of misery
This is a dark place
This is my place
This is my Eroded Hell

    The Dream

He ran through the forest
He ran from what he had yet to see
He ran from the sound, the smell of the beast
He heard the deep breathes
The air was heavy with the smell
Of the sweat of the beast
He heard the twigs crack and the
Leaves rustle with each of the beasts steps
The beast was getting closer
The smells were stronger
The sounds were louder
Suddenly there were no smells
Other than the crisp night air
And there were no sounds
Except for the crickets
And the rapid beating of his heart
He was in his room
Sitting on his bed
"Whew, it was just a dream."
A howl cut through the night air
Or was it?

    Dreamscape

The ground shifted
He floats through space
A space that was continually changing
Brilliant reds and blues flashed
All around
Dull green and yellow objects
Floated by
He was in his dreamscape
Where everything seems real
But nothing was

    Dreams

He floated through his dreamscape
He floated through his dreams
He floated through everything
He floated through his mind

He saw things most of us couldn't
He saw monsters and heros
He saw his dreams
He saw what he wanted to

He had a pet dragon
He had a castle
He had an imagination
He had everything

He was a kid

    Title to be Determined

The world revolves around the sun
The moon revolves around the Earth
The moonmen revolve around Death
With revolving Death in hand

The scream of the Banshee
Splits the night
As the protectors bring
The revolving lights

    Pain

I run
I play
I have fun
I feel pain

Pain is nothing
Pain is everything
Pain hurts
Pain goes away

Pain is inside
Pain is outside
Pain is a friend
Pain is a teacher

Teachers are a pain

    Eachers

Tachers leern us
Stuents do'nt laarn
Teaches ore booreing
Stodents sleps

Techers giv homwork
Sudents egnore
Teacers gev datention
Studens d'ont shoow up

Teahers yeel
Studets moth uff
Teechers go krazy
Tudents smele end noodd

I telled ya studants dont laern

    The Idiot

I run,I play
I speed on the highways

Going 95 in a 55 zone
Talking on the car phone

Swerve around cars with pets
I'm flying faster than soaring jets

My radio is blaring
People are staring

Speeding past low flying ducks
I never saw the trucks

They were passing each other
While I was talking to mother

The trucks left no room
We found our doom

Me and my date
We meet our fate

People heard the explosion for miles around
While I go down

Hell is cool!
You fool

    Noises

High pitches
Low pitches
Baseball pitches

Loud sounds
Quiet sounds
Ultrasounds

Loud noises
Soft noises
No noises
Lots of noises
Lots of noses

    The Cookie God

Oh we oh, Oreos
Oh we oh, Chips Ahoy

Oh we oh, Oreos
Oh we oh, Nabisco

Oh we oh, Oreos
Oh we oh, Keebler Elves

Oh we oh, Oreos
Oh we oh, Cookie Monster

Oh we oh, Oreos
Oh we oh, chocolate chips

    Ka-BOOM

Oh we oh, fire
Oh we oh, fire crackers
Oh we oh, M-80's
Oh we oh, matches
Oh we oh, gasoline
Oh we oh, Zippo
Oh we oh, paint thinner
Oh we oh, lighter fluid
Oh we oh, bottle rockets
Oh we oh, Roman candles
Oh we oh, Lady fingers
Oh we oh, Ka-BOOM
Oh we oh, pain

    Fire Crackers

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways

The way your fuse fizzles
The way you explode

The way you make me stitch my
fingers back on

The way your fuse doesn't light
until the match burns my fingers

The ways I can throw you
The way you blow up just before
you leave my hand

These are the ways I love thee
My fire crackers

    Bambi
    First Blood

Bambi runs, Bambi plays
Bambi finds the highways

He sees light
He hears noise

He charges
He hit a house

Bambi no like houses
Bambi no see lights

Everything dark
Except for the circling birds

Everything dark
Bambi passes out

Bambi is dense

    Bambi meets Thumper

Bambi wakes up
Bambi stands up
Bambi falls back down
Bambi retreats to the woods

Bambi is dizzy
Bambi trips
Bambi eats grass
Bambi sees birds again

Something hits his head
He looks up and sees...
A rabbit with...
A big club.

"People call me Thumper"
He brought the club down
The birds were back
Bambi is dense

    Bambi's Revenge

Bambi  stands up
Bambi looks around
Bambi finds target
Bambi charges

Thumper goes flying
Thumper thumps against the road
Thump-thump thump-thump
The car drives on

Bambi stands triumphant
Thumper just lays there
Thumper jumps at Bambi
Thumper swings the club
The birds are circling again.

Bambi is dense.

    That Which is Unknown

I stand side by side with Death
Always afraid for when he will turn to me

Suddenly he asks me
"Is it that you fear Truth
That you fear me.
For is not death the only truth of life."

I ask back
"Which is it you fear more,
That which is unknown
Or that which is known"

    Descent Into Madness

Falling forever into my fears
In this dark pit
That is my mind
A giant blackhole
Where I know not
Which way is up
And which is down

And as I float in a river
Of my own blood
I wonder what happened
To the boy who loved to play in sun
And why I am now condemned
To this eternal darkness
That is my curse

And as I choke and drown
In a pool of my sins
I see a light, an image
Of a boy playing in the sun
And as my eyes forever close
I see the happiness in his eyes
And with my last breathe of life
I whisper "What happened to me?"

    Unnamed Poem

The blood of the wolf
Pounds through my veins
Pushing me ever forward
Faster and faster
'Till everything is a blur

My heart pounds away
A drum beat no hands could recreate
I am blind, I am deaf
I feel no pain
My mind blocks all
I move on
Faster and Faster
Forever forward
Never to look back

I am a robot
Set for one task
Move forward
Gain speed
Break limits
Faster and faster
'Till I break myself

All is nothing
Move on
Faster and faster
There are no limits
Just push on forward

    Short Quote

We move like water flows
Sometimes quick, and sometimes slow

    Chill of Cellar

Standing here
A living statue
Frozen here
In this hell

    Rebirth

The spectre of Death
Approaches to sweep
Clean this Eroded Hell
Of all the Vermin and
Vagabonds.  The filth
Wiped cleaned from
The surface and the
Heart.  The shivers
Of all shake the
Foundations and tumbling
From their pedestals
Fall the Gods of old
The believers long since
Stop believing and the
Truth separated from
The lies.

        The Flaming
Skull of Hell falls
From the Heavens to
Eradicate the hopes and
Dreams of the masses.
Cries of "The Bells
Toll for Thee" are heard
From the roof tops as the
Precession crawls upon the
Serpentine roads of this
Now dead jungle.  The
Life sucked clean as
The marrow of bone

    Unknown Name

Hold me
Embrace me
Become one with me
Become me
Spread through me
Spill into me
Join with me

    Inside the Mind of a Genius

Of what mysteries does it work.
How many theories and strange quirk
Pass through those eyes and in those ears.
Of what does it hear?
This of you do I ask.
Be this no simple task.

What revolves in that head?
Be it spirits of long dead
That stirs in that brain,
Forever protected from thy rain?
This of you do I ask.
Be this no simple task.

    Flag of the Dark Light

The flag flies through
The sky on its lance.
The black field with
The bird of Phoenix
Rising from the fire
And Brimstone bounces
Along with the soldiers
Who cheerfully ride home
On their whores and
Horses.

    Street Cleaners

This pain I feel
Consumes me as the
Waves of a hurricane
The pounding water
Push me down, telling
Me I can go no higher
Be no better.  Yet I
Fight against it in a
Futile struggle to overcome
The odds, the public opinion
I fight to stand up in a
Crowd of robots, mindless
Zombies that are to scared
To think for themselves.  I
Struggle to be myself
In a world of conformity.
Every day an infernal battle
To be different than the
Rest.  And I suffer taunts
And Public humiliation of
Outrageous misfortune for
My individual and anti-conformist
Style.  I died a thousand deaths
Everyday, yet I survive.  That's
What I do, survive the battles
And wars to defy the world,
To keep free-thought alive
In a world that pressures
Us into slavery of the body
And Erosion of the mind

I grip in my hands
The free will of thousands
Struggling to free this
Enormous responsibility I
Chose upon myself.
The masses oppress me
At every curve to stay
Happy in their slavery

I hold in my breast
The unknown pains of
Millions
The light sears my
Eyes in its brilliance.
The hidden energy of
Their slavery

    Rage

Its red eye glare at
Me from the darkness.  The
Fire behind them burn
Through my soul and sear
My mind.  It sits there
Feeding from the Anger Pool.
It could wander anywhere
But it just sits there
Growing and expanding as
It feeds off my anger
It threatens to consume
Me at any moment

It stares at me with its
Blazing fire tree eyes.  The
Light showing some of its
Features.  It's nose sticks
Out from the darkness.
Seeing it only makes me
Angrier and It steals this
Anger and feeds upon.  And
It grows bigger and bigger

It stares at me with
Its bright, white eyes.
The light so bright that
It blocks out the sun
As the sun blocks out
The stars.  Yet I don't
Turn away.  I can not turn
Away.  I am fascinated by
It.  It seems so familiar.
And as I squint through
The light, I see that which
I fear the most.

It stares at me with
Its black eyes from
The black mirror.
The black eyes sunken
In its dark face with
Its long, hooked, dark nose
And its large black maw.
Its dark face runs with
Thick dark blood drips
Forth from every facial
Orifice.

    753

I dance alone to a
Song played only in my
Head telling me to do
Things stuff of notorious
Evil Drain the mind of
Useful information and morals
Strip the body of it's
Pride and grace. Steal
From the soul the secrets
And Life

Press random buttons and
Laugh as the puppets jump
Gliding over the river of
Stone on a steel horse
Run with the grace of geese
Fall with the stumble of a moose
Test all alternatives and
Dance with Enemies at Midnight
In Fear of Blood Mist standing
Alone in Starless Darkness with
Tales of Halfling's Streams and
Songs of Dark Knights
Written in Crystal Spurs

Rusted brains rot in
Piles useless and empty

    Bare the Soul

The lone dancer
So beautiful, so graceful
Spinning, spiralling, leaping
Dancing to the silent music
Of her own hidden heart

Creating beauty and joy
In those who watch
Silent rythm of the music
Beating the drum
The dancer leaping higher
Dancing faster

Singing out her happiness
As she spread her beauty
And grace through out
The room
Expanding her joy and
Dance to all who watched
So that she no longer 
Dances alone

A crowd of movement
Choas and beauty
The dance spreads
Filling everyone with
The choatic beauty

    8-28-98

You dance alone through
My heart and mind
You step lightly on
My feelings

You leap through
My dreams
You land just right in
My thoughts

    Chaotic Meanderings

Clear the mind
Rest the body
Prepare the soul

The time has come
The beginning has ended
The middle is near

Warp the space
Bend the time
Smash the dimension

The hole has been made
The darkness approuches
The light is pressed

Change the pattern
Descend the hole
Forget the world

    Universal Beauty

Swaying in the wind
a sapling maple trying
To hold its ground
against extreme pressures

Leaping through the air
the gentle goose takes
Flight in the azure
blanket that is our home

    Pinholes in the Curtain of the Night

I behold the beauty
Natural and unmarred by man
So distant and near
Enhances the simply beauty
Radiating beauty in its light
Never to be touched by mortal hands
Molded to its simply beauty by forces unknown
The mystery added to the beauty
Oh, how sweet it is to delight
In your pleasent radinance
To glance upon your past
And wonder about your future
Shall anything compare to thy beauty?
Shall ever thy beauty be recreated?
To see your radinances gives
Pleasure beyond measure.
Your radiate carresses.
Your gentle beauty
How I wish I alone could
Gace upon your radient beauty
But you are not mine
And I must share your beauty with all
But still does you radiance fill me with joy.

    Random Thoughts

Random thoughts course through
My mind dogs blue birds and
Earthworms defecating in my
yard that sickly aroma that
Conquers the air and strange
Materials that combine to
Form gunk under finger and
Toenails gyrations of pulchritudinous
Endowed females vociferating
The theft of others minds
In the attempt to conform
To society or at least the vision
Of conformity in the eyes and minds
Of others blossoms of the rose
Stretching to embrace the sun

    Inner Self

Confusion Choas Emotions
Fear Happiness Love
Escaping from what I want
Running to what I hate
Decisions going unmade
What to do? Where to go?
What to say? How to say it?
Simple words Complex thoughts
Shifting morals Steady honor
I fear to be myself
I hate myself to be someone else
Just say the words
Conquer the fear
Relax and be yourself

    Truth

Coward Quiter Loser
Say what you want
Do what you say
Mean what you do
Say what you mean

    That Light I See

That light I see
Reaching out for me
Stretching out towards me
To the point where I explode

That light I see
Filling me
Expanding me
To the point where I explode

That light I see
Engulfing me
Consuming me
To the point where I explode

That light I see
Standing before me
Being more than just me
To the point where I explode

That light I see
Wait a second!
Where did the light go!
Listen here people!
I am trying to talk about the Light!
Wait! Maybe I exploded

    What the ...

    This wind that blows through my soul
  Howls in my mind
   Brings me my understanding
   My joy, my pain, myself
  I embrace this zephyr
    Hold it to my consciousness
So that I may eternally enjoy
      This connately experience

    Staring into the Wind

Sitting in the shade
Envolped by its darkness
I am burning from the inside out
Suffering in my moral drought

Climbing this ladder
That leads to my insanity
I fear nothing but the
Overwhelming conformity of the norm

    The Eagle

It soars through the sky.
Diving, twisting, flying high.

It dives down to its prey.
Down to where the little things play.

The mouse died instsntly.
But what is death
But another step on an endless journey

    Life?

What is it?
What is the meaning?
Why are we stuck
on this shithole of a planet
that we make even worse?
Why are we alive?
What is the point?
I have no point
Its just a fucking
word that means
Nothing

    Good Question?

So falls the gods
Of old to the fiery
Pits of thier own hell

    Yes 'um

I am but a leave
Tumbling in the wind
Floating upon this
Path of Life

    Unfinished

So blooms the moon
into full light
In this star
Glittered night

And opens my heart
To the world
...

    And so it Begins

So falls the sky in flakes
Little bits of white descending on the winds
To gather and cluster on the ground

    The messiest poem I ever wrote yet

Panther eyes stare at
Me from withen.
Floating imagery projected
On my eyelids.

    Life

I stare blankly
While life passes
Me by. Then comes
The day that Death
Visits me. I plead
That I didn't get
All the stuff I
Wanted to get 
Done. Death stares
Through me with those
Fiery eyes and simply
Says "You had your
Chance. Its not my
Job to give you
Another."

    Staring into a Black Hole

Staring into a black hole
I see the light
Of burning coal
In the night

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Copyright 2001 Nathan A. Olmstead

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