Dating on the Net...

or I've tried everywhere else, now what???

Dating on the Internet... The way of the future... Find your partner here... Personal... Free web personals... Chat lines... and more...

Finding a potential mate or partner these days is more involved, let's take a look at dating through time...

20,000 BC - Find mate, club in submission, drag to cave. Not much romance.

• Best pickup line - Agh, oh, agh, ugh, goo...
• Average age - 12
• Location of first contact - Any field, forest, stream, cave, etc.

2,000 BC - Prospects were simple, sold to the highest bidder. Ride off into the sunset in a cage. Still not much romance.

• Best pickup line - 200 Drachmas??? SOLD!!!
• Average age - 14
• Location of first contact - At the public auction block.

1 AD - Village conquered in battle. Prize to the winner. Ride off into the sunset with victor to the next unsuspecting village.

• Best pickup line - Grabbing the person, and throwing them on the back of your trusty steed.
• Average age - 15
• Location of first contact - A war zone.

1500 AD - Arraigned marriage, mother and father knew best. Maybe not your first choice, but the new sheep and goats looked great on the old farm.

• Best pickup line - He/She comes from a nice family, and the taxes are due.
• Average age - 16
• Location of first contact - The wedding.

1800 AD - Old West - limited choices, so you got what ever was available.

• Best pickup line - Two dollars.
• Average age - 18
• Location of first contact - A brothel.

1960 AD - Free love between war protests. Find someone that was more than a one night stand, marry, divorce. Marry again. Divorce.

• Best pickup line - War sucks!!! Want some weed?
• Average age - 20
• Location of first contact - Anti-war protest or civil rights march.

1970 AD - Computer dating services. Singles Bars. Swinging singles magazines and ads.Quickie marriages, and faster divorces. What's your sign?

• Best pickup line - What is your sign? (Haven't I seen you some place before came in second.)
• Average age - 24
• Location of first contact - On a bar stool at a dimly lit bar at 1:55 in the morning.

1980 AD - The bar scene, parties. Doing lunch, dinner, and we'll schedule the wedding when it fits the schedule.

• Best pickup line - My portfolio is based on international growth stocks, along with domestic blue chips and real estate.
• Average age - 28
• Location of first contact - Disco dance floor

1990's - The INTERNET!!! Cyberspace!!! Meeting people ONLINE!!!

• Best pickup line - I have an ISDN connection
• Average age - 30
• Location of first contact - Somewhere in the circuits of MA BELL. (Also known at the information super highway.)

It was easier in 20,000 BC. Hell, you didn't even know about electricity, much less computers. Today, the dating scene is more complicated than it ever was. You never even have to see the person that you tell your secrets and life long ambitions to.

The advantages of meeting online:

• You can be anyone your want to be.
• You don't have to experience the awkward situation of meeting the people before you actually get to know them.

The disadvantages of meeting online:

• The other person can be anyone they want to be.
• The other people don't have to experience the awkward situation of meeting you before they actually get to know you.

Precautions:

I am trying to keep up hope about dating on the Internet, but you should not. You will meet lots of people, e-mail them and spend hours searching the web just to find the spots where you meet people of your interests. Once you do get an e-mail address, you write the awkward letter, trying to sound interesting, but not desperate (after all, this is your last resort), and HOPE AND PRAY that they will write you back, and they don't live in a grass hut in Argentina. Not that there is anything with living in a grass hut in Argentina, YOU JUST LIVE IN A SUBDIVISION IN RENO, NEVADA!!! Hopefully, an interest will develop and someday you may actually get to meet the person that you have been writing to, and you will both live up to each others expectations.

Trouble signs...

1. You never hear back from your initial response. The person may be busy, forgotten to get on their computer, forgotten to check their e-mail, (or their e-mail address), already involved, or just to damn inconsiderate to return your e-mail.
2. The person would really like to meet with you, however their lover, wife, husband, parents just would not understand this. This is best characterized by someone setting up times to meet with you and NEVER actually getting around to showing up.
3. The persons e-mail account is moved or inactive. (All BAD signs)
   • The warden has deactivated the Internet accounts at the penetitentary.
   • The Internet account is just a little behind in the monthly payment.
   • See number 2 above
4. The person tells you about what fun they are having all the time with other people that they have met on the Internet, and they will be busy for, say, the next 2 or 3 decades.
5. They promise to get back to you at a later time. (See numbers 1 to 4 above)

The best things to be on the Internet (you may never know until you actually meet the person)

• Handsome / beautiful
• 10 - 20 years younger
• 10 - 20 years older
• 10 - 100 lb. lighter
• Rich
• A blond
• A brunette
• Some one of the opposite sex
• Some one else

The worst thing to be on the Internet

• Lonely

Is there hope for dating today? Where else can you have your personal thoughts, tastes, interests, and desires spread across the equivalent of 350 million bathroom walls in virtually every country in the world. Happy hunting.

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