One day three men are in a line waiting to be admitted into heaven. Today though has been a very busy day for heaven so Peter has been instructed to only admit people who have had a really bad day or particularly nasty death. So the first man steps up and Peter explains the predicament he is on.
"Well," begins the first man, "i'd been suspecting my wife had been cheating on me for some months and today decided to catch her red-handed. As i entered my 25th floor apartment i knew straight away something wasnt quite right so i searched everywhere for her fancy bit. I couldnt see him anywhere then i went on to the balcony and, would you believe it, there is a man clinging on to my balcony railing 25 floors above the ground. I was so angry i started stamping on his hands but the swine wouldnt let go. Not one to be beaten i went into my apartment and grabbed a hammer. I then returned to my balcony and started hammering his hands as hard as i could. I'll give him credit he did hang on for a while but eventually he did drop off and fall 25 floors, only to land safely in some bushes. By now i was so angry i ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and through it over the balcony, killing the bastard instantly. By now stress, anger and strain had got to me and i collapsed on my balcony from a heart attack and died right there." Peter agrees this is a very bad day so lets the man in. The second man now steps forward and Peter once again explains about Heaven been full so the second man begins,
"Well every morning i do my exercises on my 26th floor balcony and this morning i must've slipped on something because i fell over the balcony. Thinking i was a gonner for sure i stuck out my arems and, as luck would have it, i caught hold of the railing one floor below me. Knowing i couldnt hold on for long i was praying someone would come to my rescue when, sure enough, a man appears on the balcony but in stead of help me he starts stamping on my hands and jumping on them. I clung on very well but knew i couldnt last much longer when he walked away. Moments later he reappeared with a hammer and started hammering away at my hands. I couldn't take the pain anymore so let go and fell 25 floors into some bushes. I thought once again luck was on my side and looked up to thank God when i saw a refrigerator falling out of the sky straught towards me. Sure enough it crushed me to death and here i am." Peter had to agree this was a terrubly nasty death and agreed to let the man enter. So the third man walks up to Peter and as before the "Heaven is full" story is repeated to him. So the man begins his story,
"Picture this, if you will, i'm hiding naked in a fridge....." |
