EFFECTS OF AGING
1. Eventually you will reach
a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
2. Don't let anyone tell you
you're getting old. Squash their toes with your rocker.
3. The older we get, the
fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
4. Some people try to turn
back their odometers. Not me.I want
people to know why I look this way. I've traveled
a long way and
some of the roads weren't paved.
5. Maturity means being
emotionally and mentally healthy. It is that time when you know when to say yes
and when
say no, and when
to say WHOOPEE!
6. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
7. When you are dissatisfied
and would like to go back to youth, think of algebra.
8. You know you are getting
old when everything either dries up or leaks.
9. I don't know how I got
over the hill without getting to the top.
10. The golden years are
really just metallic years, gold in the tooth, silver in your hair, and lead in
the rear.
11. Life would be infinitely
happier if we could only be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18.
12. One of the many things no
one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
One must
wait until evening to
see how splendid the day has been.
13. Age seldom arrives
smoothly or quickly. It is more often a succession of jerks.
14. Yeah; being young is
beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
15. Old age is when former
classmates are so gray and wrinkled, and so blind they don't recognize you.
16. If you don't learn to
laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
17. First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you
forget to pull your zipper up and then you
forget to pull your zipper down. And then you think, oh, what does it
matter!!!