I entered that new year with blinders as my vision. I have encountered some things that felt like the very testing of my soul. I began to worry and had no way of knowing how worse things would get for me personally. I took time out to get a grasp on something solid. Corny as it may seem, I opened my Bible and began to read from the beginning and discovered something so simple. God spoke to me through His Word and I am with wonderment listening.
I am a mother of a spectacularly cute and beautiful toddler and a brilliant new baby and I look forward to living long. I am a wife. There has been nothing but reality finding its way through these short years of developmental experiences. I am a woman who knows the Lord for herself and refuses to have an audience with the Father any other way.
God does give wisdom and instruction to all those searching. But most importantly, I had to learn to ask and trust He would answer. He said to me that I am to be more than I have been and that image I have attempted and succeeded was not at all who He sees me to be. He has something greater and I made a commitment to follow Him with all I am. He asked of me to have deeper fellowship and stronger passionate prayerful quality time with Him. In fellowship with the Father, I heard that the men who are kings in respect to leadership in their homes would care for all God has given them in a more intimate and declaring voice of strength in this Earth and that women in their homes would be helping forces on a more compassionate and passion filled intimacy with God unlike times previously recorded.
I had taken the slogan "Come Alive In 2005" to heart and I was more tried and tested and going out of mind with the things I would feel and I would hear and I would see. My mental stability is challenged and I know I will be victorious throughout the coming years because I simply will not worship God the Father without knowing the personal Son of God and without the Power. Now with 2006 embedded in our past, I encouraged all to have "Heaven throughout 2007".
This new year brought a greater form of depression. I find myself not knowing if God loves me. It is a new loneliness that i hate, but the patience I am experiencing is worthy. I may have more seasons away from where I call my church home. They have the more excellent gift and I am taught to see Jesus in every situation and it calms me. I miss the strength of me, but what can I do but as God has told me 4 years ago: I am not my own, I was bought at His price and will not die but declare the works of the Lord. I hide more than ever and hope one day I will be loved again as a wife.
2007, I have one mission to know how much intercession for this nation that is one under God will be required and rewarded. I want to know if there will be another Sodom and Gomorrah moment in our history, when will the million dollar memorials end and the deficit be tackled, when will we the people' be relevant in politics for a good change, when will government represent their holy and pure purpose to care for its people, when will the Ark of the Covernant be known as Jesus without measure of the Holy Spirit and understood as the reason why it is not found, and when will this nation not be known as a lover of wars. My mission is to have these answers from God by the new year's end.
Complete dependence upon the Father is so alluring. Even so Lord, come. Amen.
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