THE GREASY CORNER HERITAGE GAZETTE

December 20

G'morning all,

Herman H. Fly here...On the job en' a freezing his buns off from up here on th' tower this morning.

First the weather forcast fer th' upcomin' big day...Well fer all yew folks thats been a listen' to the tune "I'm a Dreamin' of a white Christmas" 'cording to th' weather channel on the TV down at th' 'pliance store theys a resonable chance that th' whole town could get a dustin' of the white stuff on Christmas eve....Seems there's a cold front a movin' in from Oklahomie that cud dew th' job.....Now fer all yew folks livin' down
wind of the flour mill they's a 100% garuntee that the lawns, en everythang else is gona be white fer Christmas day....Seems a pipe busted in th' filter system en they's gona be flour a blowing everywhere 'til they gets it fixed after th' hollerdays.....Most lakly won't be real great fer sleddin' er nutin , lessen it rains, but yew folks kin grab it up en have
plenty of biscuts fer yer gravy.......

Well after two false starts th' firemen finially got the tree lites a working down in th' town square...Yew might remember me r'portin' las week about th' whole town being disapointed when the durn thang wouldn't work th' first time 'round....Two nites later everyone returned to sings th joys of the hollerdays en be present fer th' lightin' en once again t'wern't nutin.......It's real unfornutate t' see the town folks get so discourged en t'
use such foul language as they was a leavin' the failed event.....finially th' firemen decided t' call in professionals t' help with th' situation.....An emergency meetin of th' town council wuz held en it wuz agreed to alleycate a total of $48.85 to hire a 'lectrician t' come down from Little Rock en take a look....Golly be folks....Them professions really
know thier stuff....didn't take that man but 4 minutes t' solve th' problem... Yep...He walked straight to th' back of Bubba's gas station en plugged th' fool extention cord in en WOWEE! We had lights......Th' only down side of it all wuz that none o' th' town folks weren't there to celeybrate so th' local TV station crew didn't have a lot t' film of th' event...When they showed th' event on th' 11 o'clock news th' tree wuz real pretty en
all but th' only carolin' goin' on wuz Henry Hoggin the town drunk a leanin' again th' light pole en singin' his rendition of "Grandma got run over by a reindeer"

PERSONALS

Rotund jolly elderly gentleman iso one happy go lucky chic to accompany me on a world wide tour on the only night I get to go out all year....trip is scheduled to begin shortly after dark on the night of December 24....
Contact St. Nick....Http:// Northpole.Let's party\Merry Christmas.com

MATTERS FROM THE HEART

T' each en everyone of yew whose been followin' the trials and tribulations of the life and times of the people of Greasy Corner Arkansas throught this here news paper, I want to take th' tyme here t' wish yew en yourn: A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
Herman H. Fly----Eddyter---Aka...Ol'Dirty Shirt (Don't fergit th' "R" in Shirt)