THE GREASY CORNER HERITAGE GAZETTE

March 13

They wuz quite stir las Fridey evenin' when "Th' Ladies Fer a Better Greasy Corner Benevelent Society got t'gether fer their monthly social. As most o yew knows this here group wuz put t'gether by th' ladies in town to s'posely try to make th' community a nicer place t' live en look purty en all......trouble wuz some o' th' places they decided t' clean up first has caused a bit o concern among th' men folks in town.....'cause them wuz th' place's th' men folk went t' when th' gals wuz holdin' their meetin' down at the church... Now since th' gals don't never 'low no men t' 'tend thar meetin's thar never wuz no way fer th' men t' figure out jes whut they wuz up to.....Oh thar wuz thet one time when sumbody come up with thet brain dead idee to sneak Henry Hoggin int' th' meetin' deguised a a gal who wus new in town but thet sorta fizzeled when ol' Henry furst got th' suspicion o' th' gals by a showing up with th' liquor on hiz breath and then exposed himself to be a man by c'plainin' 'bout how tight hiz bra wuz en then in an absence o mind reached unner his blouse en removed th' left falsie he wuz a wearin' en held it up fer all t' see....It's durn shame th' spyin' thang didn't git no results 'cause maybe alot o' th' men folk who attended th' meetin' at Th' Kowhockey County Chamber of Comerce and Marble Shooting Faternity Club House las Friday nite wudn't be a staying in th' dog house rat now as a result of th' surprise raid th' gals made on th' 'stablishment . Ah jes don't unnderstand why them gals went en jumped t' all them conculsions thet thar must be sumtin amiss a goin' on at th' meetin' in th' furst place. En if'n they had jes called furst... er at least knocked on th' front door we'd a let em rat on in...Ah don't see the th' need fer them t' swipe Bubba's tow truck en drive it through th' front door th' way they dun....a knocking over the rouleet wheel en a stopping in the middle o' th' salad bar en all....T'was a durn shame th' way Billy Wooten got hiz brand new yeller sport jacket all messed up when thet bowl o' cheeze dip flew clean across the room en splattered lak it did.....En ol' Bob Persimmon's gona have a tought time sittin' down at th' supper table fer a while as a result of thet nasty dart thet become misguided en embeded itself squarely in hiz toosh .....en it wuz jes a matter o' bad timing thet th' gals would arrive durin' th' entertainement part o' th' meetin'.... jes as Sarah Belle Tompkins wuz a performin' her redition of the great Hollywood movie "Blaze".....The story of th' worlds greatest burlesque artist.....Ah means ah should thank thet th' ladies would be proud t' know thet th' guys wuz interested in learnin' 'bout th' theater ..en ah don't know 'bout th' rest o yew guys... but muh wife jes ain't a buying the story 'bout how she weren't suppose to take all her cloths off ...but when th' tow truck hit th' door it scart her so bad thet she actually jumped rat outta her undies.....So therefore it wuz th' fault o the actions o th' ladies thet she got so much exposure......En ah don't s'pect the sherriff's story 'bout how he wuz thar at th' meeting conductin' an uncover investigation 'bout the club activilities is gona fly with hiz wife neither....'specially since ere' one in town knows em .....so how cud he a been a workin' undercover.....? 'Course if'n he decides t' kiss up t' th' gals en tell too many stories t' cover hiz butt ah'm sure a few o th' fellas might 'splain his unner under cover activities.....en sumbodies husband ain't gona be real happy t' hear thet nooze either.....

Til next week folks this here's Herman H Fly aka Ol' Dirtyshirt as wishing yew a gooden.

Please don't fergit t' put th "R" in Shirt!