| Beast From Haunted Cave (1960) |
| Rating: 2 1/2 Severed Heads |
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| Synopsis: Because you ask and we deliver...Here's another schlock classic from producer Roger Corman! A group of bank robbers try to outwit the cops by hiding out and crashing at their unknowing guide's cabin in the Black Hills of South Dakota. But a giant spider creature is stalking the hills as well. Now the hero of our film must foil the bank robbers, save the girl, and destroy the monster! Geez, you'd think with a plot like that it couldn't possibly be as slow as it is. Ah, but it is. The monster is horribly cheesy. Most of the time you just see a giant spider leg grabbing people. And when you do see the creature...well, I'll just leave that to you, the viewing audience, to heckle in private. Trust me when I say that I have family in South Dakota, and there aint much in the way of excitment there. This movie is proof of that. Even a giant spider can't bring some excitment to good ol' South Dakota. If you're looking for non-stop action, you might as well turn back. If you're a pioneer in search of schlock theater, ths just might be your ticket to paradise! |
| What Has This Movie Taught Us? -Player pianos don't know the meaning of retirement -It's nice to have a future, even a little petty one -Wind is more interesting than a big city like San Francisco -Nothing exciting has happened in South Dakota since the murder of Wild Bill Hickok... in 1876! |
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| Memorable Moments: 04min- Do you ever stop talking? 07min- Attention boys: she likes to do things with her hands 20min- Giant leg, eh? Sounds like a cougar to me 22min- Maybe that cougar with the giant leg got her 23min- He's the Unabomber! 29min- Look, the monster is flipping them off 38min- Nothing exciting has happened here for 84 years 56min- The feather fell out of your pimp hat Romeo 66min- I love your pimp hat, now give the monster some sugar! |
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| Don't Quote Us On That: Marty: "What's your name?" Jill: "Jill." Marty: "How do ya do? My name's Jack" Jill: "Really?" Marty: "No, I was only kidding, it's Marty." Radio Announcer: "The biggest story to hit the Black Hills since the murder of Wild Bill Hickok was Sunday's sensational robbery at the Broken Boot Mine in Deadwood." |
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