| First Spaceship on Venus (1959) |
| Rating: 5 Severed Heads |
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| Synopsis: Any movie that's filmed in English, dubbed in German, then re-dubbed back into English has to be good! After investigating a spool (like an Edison wax cylinder recording? These Venusians aren't as technologically advanced as we thought!) dropped from an exploding spaceship (how they figured that one is still beyond us, they never actually explain how they figure any of this out), a group of scientists and a robot with a loud annoying voice travel to the object's point of origin, the planet Venus. Upon landing on Venus they find that natives aint friendly, and apparantly want to destroy the Earth (the reason for this is never given). But just where are the aliens? And why is a petrified forest made of glass threating all of humanity? Lots of laughs and special effects that make the original Lost in Space shows look like The Matrix. This is one of our favorites! |
| What Has This Movie Taught Us? -Digitally Remastered CDs are actually dipped in chemicals and exposed to radiation -Venus and Mercury are the only other planets in the solar system -In case of Emergency Gyro, break glass -Venus' atmosphere is 14% formaldehyde -If you're the token black guy on a spaceship, be afraid, be very afraid -Vitrified forests are not to be trusted |
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| Memorable Moments: 03min- Is he just guessing all this? 10min- Their shirts spell MAT, but what does it mean!? 15min- Honk if you giggle at the word "Venus" 20min- Brinkman, we didn't want to say anything, but you're talking into your toothbrush 20-21min-They're letting a computer control the ship? "Open the Crawlicoper doors Hal." "I'm sorry Brinkman, I can't do that. 24min- That robot's voice is getting on my nerves 32min- Let me use my Venusian to English dictionary 45min- Epcot Center? 57min- Cosmostrator, we need pancakes! Repeat, pancakes! 75min- On the count of three, everbody hold hands and skip towards them |
| Don't Quote Us On That: Brinkman: "I'm very glad you're coming with us Sumiko. That way, I'll be near you." Harringway: "You're computer was active last night." Orloff: "This could only mean...an attack!" (DUM-DUM DUM!) Sikarna: "This vitrified forest was made to be a weapon of aggression." |
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