| The Giant Gila Monster (1959) |
| Rating: 5 Severed Heads |
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| Synopsis: Quite possibly the best of the late 50's/early 60's "Let's-film-a-real-lizard-against-small-models-to-make-it-look-giant" films, Giant Gila Monster is a non-stop bad movie laugh-o-rama. After a teen couple go missing (why do these monsters always target horny teens?) along with several mysterious auto accidents, some genius puts together what's going on from a children's book of reptiles. Apparently a lizard was over-exposed to "certain salts" that cause it to grow large and feed on teenagers and drifters. Who can save the town you ask? Chase Winstead, the badass with a heart of gold, of course! Did we mention he also sings like Ricky Nelson? Actually, there's about as much singing in this movie as a Gene Autry western. Everybody sings! Even old alcoholic Harris sings (a real treat as Harris is played by Shug Fisher of the Sons of the Pioneers!!!). Especially great is Chase singing with his banjo-ukelele to his polio crippled sister. Heartwarming... that is until that damn Giant Gila Monster spoils everything. Bastard. |
| What Has This Movie Taught Us? -Banjo-ukeleles are cool -Laughing is important -$40 was a lot of money in 1959 -Once there was a sad little mushroom.... -The mere sight of The Giant Gila Monster can cause automoblies to flip over -Once a drunk driver is sober you should put him right back on the road |
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| Memorable Moments: 02min- Thank you Don Sullivan for getting all these songs stuck in our heads 03min- Check out the nudie calendar in the background 11min- Pointless tractor drive-by 12min- "Lemme smell your breath." Well now that was useless 14min- Remember party lines? The good old days before privacy was invented 39min- Get your kleenex ready 40min- The Banjo-ukelele! 49min- Harris sings! 60min- He's taking the fact his son was eaten very well 63min- Jim Nabors? 65min- The return of the Banjo-ukelele! 66min- The Giant Gila Monster just wants to party |
| Don't Quote Us On That: Harris: "Buying a car, son, is just like gettin' married or goin' to New York City..." Harris: "You're talkin' like my foots asleep." Sheriff: "Were they in any sort of trouble?" Chase: "Trouble?" Sheriff: "You know what I mean." Steamroller Smith: "Thanks for everything Dad, your'e a cotton-pickin' prince." |
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