| House on Haunted Hill (1958) |
| Rating: 2 Severed Heads |
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| Synopsis: Possibly the most unscary scary movie that we've ever seen, House on Haunted Hill stands as a classic in bad horror films of the late 1950's. Vincent Price is the best thing in this movie as he stars as Fredrick Loren, who rents a mansion that is supposed to be haunted and treats several strangers to a haunted party where they are offered $10,000 each if they spend the night in the mansion... that is, if they survive. Give me a break, the orginal movie poster for this film was scarier than the film its self. The "scary" scenes really are great because they're just so damn predictable and cliche'! I've also heard that at showings of this film, they swung around a glow-in-the-dark skeleton around from the ceiling. Now that's a classic cheese theater experience! The on location shooting at Frank Lloyd Wright's Ennis-Brown House (which is on a hill between a Hospital and a Ralph's in Hollywood) however adds something really cool to look at while you're trying to keep from laughing at how not scary this movie is. This movie is classic! |
| What Has This Movie Taught Us? -Disneyland's Haunted Mansion is scarier than this place -Regis gives out more money than Vincent Price and no one gets murdered -Drunks and haunted houses make a great combo -Everyone should have a vat of acid in their basement |
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| Memorable Moments: 00min- Oooo, a scary Halloween sound effects record 02min- You already said she was amusing! 15min- I have a stain like that in my house too, but it's from grape juice 16min- Where does one buy acid anyway? 24min- That wall has spring reverb 25min- Boo, I'm a ghost... 33min- I've seen bowls of oatmeal scarier than that 61min- A big scary monster hand? You've got to be joking. 62min- Now the organ plays its self! This place is as scary as a church social 70min- That is the worst thing I have ever seen in my life |
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| Don't Quote Us On That: Watson Pritchard: "The ghosts are moving tonight, restless, hungry." Watson Pritchard: "Only the ghosts in this house are glad we're here" Fredrick Loren: "Remember the fun we had when you poisoned me?" Annabelle Loren: "This is your room. Depressing, isn't it?" |
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