| The Undertaker and His Pals (1967) |
| Rating: 5 Severed Heads |
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| Synopsis: The best way I can describe The Undertaker and His Pals, is to say that it's the B-Movie equivalent of a Shonen Knife song. The film is pure camp from the first frame. The film revolves around a diner that's run by a couple of no-goodnicks who are in with the local undertaker (you might say they're his pals) to kill off people so the undertaker gets his business done at an inflated price, while the diner owners get to fry up some good ol' fashioned meals right out of "Cooking With Dahmer". So, dressed as a cannibal motorcycle gang, they stalk the town for some fresh meat. Investigating is gumshoe Harry Glass, who figures the diner duo are up to no good when everybody he comes in contact with winds up on the menu. Mix in a couple of nymphos, some rock n' roll, and mister, you got one hell of a film. This movie gave me hope for all of humanity that a movie this bad could make people so darn happy. |
| What Has This Movie Taught Us? -Never eat at a place called The Greasy Spoon Cafe -Scalpels should always be sharp -Bums will eat anything -People with last names that are types of meat should watch out for cannibal motorcycle gangs -Ketchup is a vegetable -The best way to flag down a moving car is to jump in front of it -Every movie should have good looking, nymphomaniac twins |
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| Memorable Moments: 04min- This music kicks ass! 06min- She looks just like Christina Aguilera 12min- Mmmm...B.M. 15min- Why you'd hardly guess that mirror was strategically placed 26min- Dark meat! Haha! I love it... 34min- "Journey to the Center of a Girl" 35min- Anyone for a hambur-ger? 39min- You show that statue who's boss! 59min- Hamlet wants his material back |
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| Don't Quote Us On That: Harry: "Hey, Spike, what is this?" Spike: "Lamb." Harry: "That's not lamb." Anne Poultry: "According to the grapevine he was kicked out of medical school because he was very, very weird." Anne Poultry: "This joint would give Mr. Clean nightmares." Spike: "I ripped her clothes off!" Doc: "Now that's good thinking." |
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