so i took a step towards that strange light and hoped that it might annihilate me, or at least transport me to a different kind of hell. for i grow tired of this one. you may sit and smile and play at contentment but impatience crawls beetle-like in my veins. i squirm while inertia holds me down and murmurs at me to be still. i would be still. like brown curled leaves at the very bottom of a pond, while insects skated far above me, their shadows flitting blemishes in the shower of sunlight. but you said it was beyond me and that is probably true. these legs are made to run and fall, not to kneel. the light was strange because it was new, its luminescence glancing off my eyelashes, tracing whispering spirals into the darkness. you kept smiling, but your hands moved in a sudden spasm of surprise. would you stop me? you utter love and your hands plead, fingers buried deep in the fabric of your robe. i don't know what's real anymore. we who are suspended in this layer of the universe, doomed to make our mistakes and pay for them. over and over and over, like in that movie we once saw.
is the light so wrong? is death so odd? i think you haven't a clue. |
