No one knows quite how the Legend of Big Ole Donkey Girl Scout began. They say it started at a college in a rat hole of a town in southern Indiana. A group of friends used to get together every Sunday and cook brunch and watch Designing Women episodes. (Since none of them had any money, this was the highlight of their lives.) In one particular episode of that show which was their Bible, Suzanne called Charlene a "Big Ole Donkey Girl Scout". The friends thought that was hysterical and would be even funnier if Big Ole Donkey Girl Scout were an actual character. They began endowing her with powers, making her almost mythical in nature. Donkey hysteria started ruling their lives. Lisa, the original "Donkey Girl", made up a movie poster for Big Ole Donkey Girl Scout: Debutante Donkey. They began starting rumors of Big Ole Donkey Girl Scout sightings, a la Elvis Presley. (Although I don't think Big Ole Donkey Girl Scout was ever spotted in a Burger King in Ohio.) The friends started calling each other Donkey Girl or Donkey Boy. The names have stuck all these years, inciting curiousity about the nature of such colorful monikers.
Along with the names, donkey slang has been introduced as well. Not surprisingly, big ole donkey has become an all-purpose adjective phrase applying to something of a large size, as in "Look at that big ole donkey action figure!" (A phrase often heard among the toy-loving Donkey Cultists). The word donkey itself can be used as a noun or adjective. In the noun form, it stands in for goofball, or odd muffin. For example, "Don't be such a donkey!", means "Don't be such a loveable weirdo!". Similarly, donkey used as an adjective means silly, goofy. "That was a donkey laugh" roughly translates into "That was a goofy/weird/embarrassing laugh". Donkey can also be used as a verb. Goofing off is known as donkeying around. Use of these words and phrases has prompted the questions of those outside the Donkey Cult on the nature of the Donkey fascination.
The Donkey Cult is not particularly formal about ceremony but like all paths to higher consciousness, they do have a few. On October 23, the Feast of Big Ole Donkey Girl Scout, Lisa, High Priestess of the Donkey Cult is gifted with presents in the shape of, or pertaining to donkeys. Despite the growth of the Donkey Cult, such objects are quite rare and are considered precious gems.
Although Big Ole Donkey Girl Scout has been sighted numerous times, there are no pictures of this amazing creature. Some say she doesn't exist, but ever faithful Donkey Girls and Donkey Boys everywhere beleive that one day, Big Ole Donkey Girl Scout will make her presence known, and lead all the peoples of the earth into the joy and peace of Donkeydom.
Hee haws forever!
Home is where the donkeys are.
