�Yes, I�m bleeding!�
�I want you to put an octopus on your head�now are brains are being controlled.�
�My hat is my life.�
�We have literary sex.�
�When I�m a grownup, I�m going to wear footy pajamas.�
�It�s not a vase, it�s a vaaz, damn it.�
�If I had to describe my life in one word I would say wax-paper. With a hyphen.�
�She has magic powers. I mean like sort of�she could grow a chia pet, maybe.�
�Man, I wish I were a ghetto underdog.�
�Euler was an oily bastard.��Carolyn Bussey
�I bet he had a mustache.��Ellen Larson
�What do you call a group of people?��Jesse Watson
�Stupid.��Ellen Larson
�Placebos, parameciums, they�re the same thing.�
�I�m disinterested in this because it doesn�t have Greek hoes in it.�
�Parker Ogden, you�re a woman!�
�Metaphors are dirty. I hate them.�
�We don�t call it hazing. We call it stabbing.�
�It�s on some romantic island, like Russia.�
�Math is more important than bathroom.�
�Bubbliest laptop ever.�
�And by �we� I mean �me�.�
�You know what�s like the metric system except stupider? The British.�
�It�d be like electing Jesus.�
�It�s called a gelatoid or something. It�s like a robot made of gelatin.�
�That�s why I�m going to kill her, because she�s not giving me attention.�
�It�s like Gollum, but except for countries.�
�My fingers don�t like fingers.�
�You have no idea how grouped I am right now.�
�I�m not mocking you, I�m mocking with you.�
�Fruit snacks are like Jesus, you can�t throw them.�
